It is a conversation we now have almost every day. Whenever there’s a quiet moment – and there aren’t many in a house with a one and a three year old – he’ll look at me and say “so … are we going to find out?”.
How lucky we are that this is our greatest dilemma at the moment. It is two weeks until our 20-week scan and the only thing we are thinking about is … will we find out the sex of this baby?
I’ve done both. I’ve had my surprise and I’ve found out. And I can’t decide which is better.
With my first, I didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl so we didn’t find out. Initially, I assumed we would … the technology existed and our other pregnant friends knew what they were having. But it was my partner who suggested a surprise would be nice and he was right.
Reasons I liked NOT finding out the sex:
- When our little boy was born we could announce “it’s a boy” and no one could say “yes, we know”. It was fun to keep them all guessing.
- I could have fun with all the baby gender old wives tales
- I bought gender-neutral baby clothes which meant that I was fully stocked up for my second (and now third child) no matter what the sex.
- The moment my son was born my partner looked over at me glassy-eyed, tired and proud and whispered ‘it’s a boy’. Somewhat more special than having a sonographer poke me in the belly, squint and announce that she’s “about 90 per cent sure” it’s a girl.
- When I did find out (ie. when he was born) I could be 100 per cent sure of his gender. It was easy as looking between his legs. When I found out at my scan, I didn’t believe it anyway. There’s always the chance sonographers are wrong.
When I was pregnant the second time around I wanted the baby to be a girl. I feel guilty admitting it. Of course, if I’d had a boy I would have loved him so much my chest hurts to think about it, but a part of me would have missed the girl I didn’t have. I didn’t want a single negative thought to enter my head on the day of my child’s birth so I opted to find out the sex at the 20-week scan. I’m glad I did. Even if I didn’t entirely believe it …
This time, I’m back to not caring whether we have a boy or a girl. But I’m still leaning towards finding out the sex – although more for practical reasons rather than emotional ones.
Reasons I want to find out the sex this time:
- We don’t have a boy’s name and I’m so over discussing it. We’ve locked in a girl’s name but we can’t think of a single boy’s name that we both like. The 3YO wants to call the baby “Peppa Pig” and if we can’t come to some agreement we may actually have to consider this.
- I have an entire cupboard full of clothes my children have grown out of and I’m itching to get rid of at least half of them. I’m the opposite of a hoarder. Boy or girl this is my last child and I desperately need more space in my cupboard!
- I feel like it might help me bond with this baby. With my first pregnancy I had the luxury of time – time to read pregnancy books, time to relax and time to ponder the miracle of growing a baby. This time I’m so busy with the other two that sometimes I quite literally forget I’m pregnant. It might be nice to give this baby a name and start feeling like it is already part of the family.
So, watch this space. I’ll let you know what I’ve decided. What did you do?
Image credit: denisnata/ 123RF Stock Photo