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  1. #1
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    Default Freaked out & Feeling guilty



    Hi Guys,

    I have a thing with my boobs and I hate anyone even myself to touch them. They are so sensitive and the thought of breastfeeding my child freaks me right out. No one seems to understand and they all say it's a mental thing!

    I think it is a wonderful thing if you can breastfeed and if I didn't have this problem I would love to breastfeed too but the way I am feeling at the moment I am getting to stressed out about it to a point I have had a couple of panic attacks!

    The midwives are very pushy and every visit I go to they keep saying that I should just get over it and start playing around with them toughen them up.

    I know breast milk is the best for them but I don't think I can do it!

    Is their anyone else who feels like this?

    Amy

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    Hi Amy,

    I'm sorry to hear that you have been treated with so little respect and consideration.

    I know it's not the same, but my husband has very senstive nipples, and like you, he can't stand to have them touched. I don't think it is in your head, and I think it's terrible that people are making you feel bad about something that's beyond your control.

    I hope you stay strong, I was bottle fed and I've been very healthy all my life, it's much more important that you are allowed to bond guilt free with your baby in these early days than have this forced on you.

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    Hi Amy, first of all hugs to you.
    I know what you are going through.
    I was exactly the same as you and still am in regards to the "booby" thing! However I gave the BF thing ago and am still BF my son 10mths later.
    I am a very shy person and don't like people looking at me and touching me etc.
    I wanted to give BF ago for the sake of my son. It was hard at first but now I am pleased that got through all my issues with BF.
    I'm not trying to say you should BF, but I just wanted to tell you that I was like you and I overcame my fears.
    However if you really don't want to give it a try you should just go with what makes you happy and comfortable(bottle feeding).
    The midwives should not be so pushy, you need to be direct with them and just tell them what you want to do.
    Try not to get too stressed about the situation, it is not worth it. Your health is way too important. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding your bub, you just have to look at all the beautiful, HEALTHY bottle fed babies.
    Please feel free to e-mail me if you want any support or info of how I got through it.
    Take care Tina

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    Hi Amy,

    Due to childhood issues, I detested the thought of breastfeeding.

    Ultimately, it is your baby and your body.You have to do what you are most comfortable with because a happy mum equals a happy baby

    Good luck with your decision.

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    Hey,

    Your not alone alot of women feel like this, they just dont voice their fears as they feel guilty...............My sis didnt want to bf for the same reasons as you so she bottle fed her bub. Dont worry about those silly middies its their job to do the best for bub (which is get mums to bf etc)

    If you dont like the idea of bf but still want to give your bub the best start in life why not try expressing bm and giving it to bub that way. You can express in a private place and dont have to worry about bub touching your breasts. This option may be a little bit harder then normal bf at first but it can be done and may solve your problem!

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    I was basically going to say what Sarah (orlandosmum) has said ...

    It is more common than you think! There are lots of Mum's who find the idea of breastfeeding intolerable and it is definitley NOT all in your head!

    Do give expressing a go ... even if all you manage is the first few days and bub gets the colostrum from you ... at least you have given it a go and bub got a good start!

    There is no reason to feel guilty for bottle feeding bub ... sometimes it is much better to go with the method that is going to keep you sane as bub really needs a Mum who is happy and not doing things that really mess her up emotionally etc.

    You will come across some people who will try to condemn you for making the choice to bottlefeed ... I guess it is a bit like when it was popular to bottle feed and people thought that breastfeeding was strange! Don't bother making excuses ... it is your decision and none of their business as to why you are bottlefeeding ... all you need to say is that your child is healthy and thriving and that is all that matters to you!

    Although formula is not the ideal infant food, it has been manufactured to closely resemble breastmilk and is being refined and updated constantly, making it a fantastic alternative. There is no reason why you and bub can't get along well with formula feeding.

    All this said ... give breastfeeding a go ... you may find that you can do it sucessfully after all!

    When you are doing the absolute best that you can do for your bub, there is no reason to feel guilty and the absolute best (besides basic care etc) is to provide bub with a happy and sane mum!

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    Amy

    I felt exactly the same and still do.

    I refused to bf DD#1 for those exact reasons (I actually felt repulsed). I was getting so much flack from DH that that stressed me even more.

    I tried too bf DD#2 after thinking long and hard about it and I did for about 6wks but stopped because I felt too uncomfortable and I kept stressing which didnt' help me to enjoy being a mum again.

    I have no guilt or regrets.

    My oldest is a well adjusted 3yr old and my youngest is a well adjusted 3mth old.

    I am neither for or against bf - I believe it is an individual choice. Don't let anyone make your mind up for you.

    PS On another issue Amy I'm coming up to ACT soon to live so we should meet up one day. I'll PM you later.

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    These ladies have said it all really, whatever you choose to do don't feel guilty. The most important thing for your baby is having a happy mum.
    I felt terrible when I gave up breastfeeding at 4 months, I was in so much pain, I was lob sided all the time, and not happy. As soon as I stopped I felt physically and emotionally so much better. But there was still the guilt that i couldn't do it any longer.
    My son is a happy and healthy 13 month old, and no one will be able to tell when he's my age how long he was BF for
    If you feel comfortable give it a go, you might have a great BF experience, but don't do it because thats what other people tell you is whats best for YOUR baby. You will know when the time comes what you can and cant do.
    Hugs to you

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    I think that carrying around distress about anything is not good for your health and that if you are this distressed about having your breasts touched then for your own sake you would do well to seek counselling. Having a comfortable relationship with your body is part of a happy, healthy life but many women are uncomfortable in their own skins. Rather than depriving your child of optimal nutrition and yourself of valuable natural protection against diabetes, and many forms of cancer, spending the money and time bottlefeeding, get some help. I've seen many women with fears like yours who have overcome them and enhanced their own life, their emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual wellbeing. Whatever you eventually decide about how to nourish your child, getting help with body issues will only help you be a better parent. Good luck with it!

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    Hi Amy, as all the other mums have mentioned I think the most important thing is to not feel pressured into doing something that you do not feel comfortable doing. Your happiness, health and mental well being is very important in allowing you to be the best mum that you can be.

    I began by breastfeeding my bub, and while I was never too sure if it was what I wanted to do I gave it my best shot. But to cut a long story short we had a lot of difficulty, with the result being a very hungry and unsettled bub.

    A wonderful, wonderful midwife who held me as I sobbed about this suggested I should try expressing my milk. I know you are not too keen on anyone seeing or touching your boobs, but this can be done in a private and secluded spot.

    While I found expressing to be hard work, it helped me to overcome my feelings of guilt about not being able to breastfeed sucessfully.

    I expresses for several months and then gradually switched to formula. My little girl is both happy and healthy, and so am I !!!!!!!!!!

    Good luck with whatever you decide, I am sure that it will be the right choice for you and bub.


 
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