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  1. #11
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    Hey Zaras Mummy

    I can only imagine what you are feeling and what you must be going through. While I have been fortunate enough to make the decision to be a SAHM, I was recently faced with the choice of being offered a fabulous job which was 5 hrs a day 5 days a week and I spent a couple of days in tears at the idea of putting my DS into care for just that period of time.
    We made the decision for me to not take the job as my DH had found another job late last year with a huge difference in salary which meant we were lucky enough to afford me staying at home. (Also, we only rent at the moment so don't have the extra worry of a mortgage hanging over our heads)
    I spoke to a lot of Mums I knew who worked when I was making my decision and they all told me the same thing. They knew why they were back at work, they knew they had no choice, they knew what they were doing was ultimately the best for their family in the long run, but they still felt guilt nearly every morning when dropping their children off and picking their children up - despite the fact that their children were THRIVING in day care.
    to you. You now you are doing what you have to do and no one has the right to judge you!

  2. #12
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    My son is now in day care 4 days per week.
    He started with two days per week at 15 months, as we had no family support... and I was struggling to keep it together. He has gradually worked up to four days this week, as I am starting uni tomorrow.
    I am not feeling incredibly good about my decision right now... but I am sure once we settle into our new routine, it will be ok.

    During pregnancy I thought I would NEVER send my child to day care... but when you don't live near family or have many friends with children, I feel that it almost becomes a neccessity.
    I believe in the idea that it 'takes a village to raise a child'.
    In our case we only had each other. I wanted him to be exposed to other children and adults and feel comfortable wih people other than my husband and I.
    He is 20 months now... he loves going to day care... waves and says 'Bye mum!' when I leave and is always happy playing when I pick him up.

    On non-day care days, he will often grab his bag and wait at the door saying 'car, car'

    When I look at my little man, and his cheeky personality I know that he is not being damaged by the experience... But it only takes a couple of silly comments for me to question it all and feel like I am a terrible mum.... though that is more my personal issue than anything to do with the actual situation.

    ETA - I realise that the title is actually 'full time work and day care'... but seeing as I am currently having issues with a similar situation, I thought I'd add my bit I hope that's ok.
    Last edited by MonkeyMum05; 26-02-2007 at 10:45.

  3. #13
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    Thank you all for your wonderful words of support, it's so great to know that I am not alone and it can be done!

    jojojonsey I found your post so inspirational...you wrote exactly what I needed to hear. I know that I have to go back to work and in a way I am looking forward to the adult interaction and some exercise for my brain...it's just so good to know that you and your family have done it so successfully. We also know that it will be so important to make that extra time for each other and make sure we are available to Zara whenever she needs us.

  4. #14
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    jojojonesy...what a fantastic Mum you are! Once again, thanks so much for your ongoing support and kind words and good luck for today!!!!!!!!!

  5. #15
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    Some offtopic posts have been removed. Please keep to the question that the OP posed "positive full time child care experiences". Remember that if you think a post is unhelpful or rude, report it using the report post button. Arguments and misinterpretations can be hurtful and hijack the thread.

    Cheers

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by tootiredtosleep View Post
    I think that some SAHM are very judgemental. How many working mothers question them though? If no mothers worked could we support welfare etc??
    That is a very good point

    I'm working full time and finding it great.......although eventually with 2 bubs I'll want to change to 3 or 4 days per week. Gemma only goes to child care 3 part days per week...........but my nephew is in childcare full time and is a happy, healthy, polite little 3 year old.........who loves playing with the other kids there and even has a number of girlfriends there Valentine

    Good luck with it.

  7. #17
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    Hi everyone...just wanted to update you on our situation. I am back to work in two weeks and so we have started Zara in daycare to get her used to it. She went for a few hours last Friday and is there again today, trying to leave her till about 2.30pm before I pick her up.
    I had a cry last week when we dropped her off and again when we picked her up but today I didn't tear up till we walked out of the nursery which is great because she didn't see it. She actually seemed to be excited too, she was squeeling and trying to jump out of DH's arms....hopefully she is enjoying it!
    Thanks again for all the wonderful support...what a journey this is being a working mum hey?

  8. #18
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    Yay ZarasMummy

    I'm glad it is going OK!

    The first time I dropped DS1 at daycare in the nursery I was fine until I got back to the car where I promptly burst into tears. It was like a release of the tension built up worrying that everything was going to be OK. I had booked a hair dressers appointment for that first morning to take my mind off things. I hadn't been to the hair dressers since being pregnant so it was a real treat and helped distract me - it also meant I couldn't sit in the car in the car park all day crying my eyes out which did occur to me as an option at the time LOL.

    It gets easier. There comes a time where they just want to run in to see their mates. I do think it is harder on us than it is on them.

    I hope it all goes well .

  9. #19
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    Thanks jojo, I really appreciate the support. Zara seems good today, I picked her up at 2pm with Mum and she was asleep again. Nursery lady said she had a great day, only a few tears but did vomit her bottle over the carer...oops! She was a little whingey when we got home but once she had a bottle and we went for a walk to the shop she was asleep so that's great. I am wondering if it is tiring her out a bit being at daycare...I guess it just takes time for her to get used to being in a new place with different people...gosh, she's only 6 months old poor little thing.
    I am trying to stay positive and not worry too much and all your kind words are helping me to do that...thankyou!

  10. #20
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    Hi Linley,

    Just wanted to say I'm glad today went well for you and Zara

    I've been reading your thread with interest as I'm in a very similar situation - I also have to return to work starting next Tuesday (OMG) so DS will be in family daycare 4 days a week. I feel very upset, sad, and guilty about leaving my DS (and resentful that I can't stay home at least 12 months). I'm also a bit anxious about long-term effects on him, so it's really great to read here about others' positive experiences, while knowing that there are others out there going through the exact same thing.

    I dropped Jet at daycare last week for the first time (like you, I've been easing him into it by sending him a few hours a day, 2 days a week, for 2 weeks) and cried all the way home! Cried again the second day when he held his arms out to me as I walked out the door (incidentally I went to get my hair done to distract myself too, LOL jojojonsey!). Our carer lives just around the corner which is great and he looks happy when we arrive to pick him up and seems fine, if not a bit tired. I guess time will tell...

    Next week is going to be really hard though, when I'm actually at work 8 hours a day and not just around the corner knowing I can go pick him up any time.

    Anyway I hope that it keeps going well for you and if you ever need some support from someone going through exactly the same thing feel free to PM me!


 

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