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  1. #1
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    Default What would you do?

    I'm not sure whether I should say something to my friend about the way she treats her son.

    I spent the majority of the day with them both the other day and she constantly tells him "You're a f%$k wit, you're a piece of S*^t, etc..." She never listens to him, always telling him to shut up. He asked me a question and I went to answer him and she told not to bother. She never praises him when he does anything right. It's almost like its to much bother for her to do anything for him. When he got hungry and he asked her politely if he could have something to eat, she told him "she didn't care and to sit down and get out of her face" I ended feeding him a vegemite sandwich for tea because she was to busy playing with the new mobile she got that day.

    He's 3 and a 1/2yrs old and the look on his face breaks my heart everytime she speaks to him the way she does. I don't want him to grow up with a low self esteem like I did.

    Do I talk to her about the way she talks to him or just let it be?

    So what would you do?

  2. #2
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    Oh boy, that's a tough one caz. But if it was me, I would say somthing. It might 'ruin' the friendship, but I don't think any child deserves to be spoken to like that.


    *hugs* to you

  3. #3
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    Yep thats a heartbreaker.
    I would remove myself form her acquaintance.
    I hate the way my sister speaks to her children too...but I cant change the world. I wish we could do more for these kiddies......
    I dont know the answer.

    O's mom.

  4. #4
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    It's going to be hard for you,but something definitley needs to be said.No child deserves to be treated that way.Is the father around you could talk to? or other family members the poor boy may have? Perhaps speak to them.

  5. #5
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    I would say something too!!!
    The poor little darling!
    You're obviously concerned and care about him, which is great! You should definately chat with her because her son's the one who will suffer. It's not right for her to treat her son like that!
    It's your decision though and your friend! You do what you feel comfortable with sweety!
    Nat xxx

  6. #6
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    This is a very difficult situation. I wouldn't know how to go about talking to her it really depends on how well you know her, the fact she tells you not to bother answering her son, tells me, what you say will go in one ear out the other.

    This is emotional and verbal abuse. I worked with woman who has a friend like this, I begged her to tell her friend to stop she did, the friend did nothing, I told her to tell social services. But she didn't.

    I grew up with my mother battering me verbally and emotionally + the rest, it takes years to fully work out why, and the work that you have to put into yourself to feel that your capable of something or anything is a very long road.

    Only you can decide!

  7. #7
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    The poor child ! Definately the making of a kid with low self esteem and the high probability of "acting out" and potential for law breaking. (sounds dramatic but there is a high incidence of this type of parenting and juvenile delinquency)

    As an adult I feel there is a duty to say something. My personality would not tolerate this,friend or not. I had a friend once who treated her teenage son like crap and he would silently look to me while she was putting him down. I confronted her in as least threatening manner as I could in front of the boy. It took tremendous restraint on my part to still show her respect in front of her son, but to "stand up" for him at the same time.

    Unfortunately, at 3 and a half years of age, he does not have the ability to consider that he is anything other than what his mum and dad tell him (hence the fact that we refer to kids as impressionable) You may in fact be changing the course of this boys life for the better if you do act now and have a chat to your friend about your previous experiences and the consequence.

    I wish you strength.

  8. #8
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    What a tough situation to be in! I agree with the others that the boy's welfare is more important than a friendship. I'd like to think that in a similar situation i would have the strength of character to stand up for what's right. Perhaps if you had a chat with her in private and just quietly let her know that you're concerned about the child and the way he is treated. Maybe she is aware of the problem but doesn't know how to break the cycle? Maybe you could find some counselling service in your area that you can recommend to her.
    I wish you the best of luck, i feel for you and that poor little boy.

  9. #9
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    That mother's behaviour is totally beyond my understanding - it just doesn't compute.

    I don't have any advice as I've never seen anyone do anything like that - thank God.

    My only thought was if that is how she behaves in company, I'd hate to see what that poor boy has to put up with when she's alone with him. I hope that woman gets help - no one has the right to abuse a child like that .

  10. #10
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    I read all the posts here and kept thinking how likely it was that if you confront her, even nicely, over her parenting skills it's going to backfire. Chances are you won't be friends anymore.

    It would depend upon how close of friends you are and how much you're willing to take on, but an alternative would be to offer to look after her son for a few hours each week. This gives him a chance for positive interaction and encouragement with you, without his mom's negative influence. I don't know your friends situation but if she's at home with him all the time then she'd probably welcome the break. If you do take that on, then perhaps it might even evolve to having her over with her son - in which case if she tries to cut you off from responding to her son you can tell her your house & your rules when her son is there. Or maybe she'll just notice the difference in him and respond to it. I may be an optimist


 

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