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  1. #1
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    Angry I'm new, looking for some advice!

    Hello everyone,

    The last twelve months has been a roller-coaster, my DH supposedly had an affair and got someone else pregnant, we have three children together and in the last twelve months we have had three miscarriages, the child has been born, long and gloomy 9 months, this has put strain on our relationship, DH is adamant that he is not the father and from the very beginning has said he will do a DNA test to prove that he isn't, he has not had any communication with her, but she had proceeded to put DH on the child's birth certificate, so now this has been raised with BDM, now we have to go through the legal process which this can take months. She assumed (I have this in a message that started with "ha ha") that he could claim to go to such lengths i.e dna test, court but the kid is his. I am aware that we won't know anything until this DNA test is performed. Has anyone been in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?

  2. #2
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    Sorry for your losses.

    I'm guessing there's a lot more to this story than whats included here. I'm sorry but I couldn't imagine trying to have a baby with someone who has put me in that situation. I couldn't knowingly bring a child into such a $#!tstorm. Thats not fair on the baby. What if the other womans baby is his? How do you know the baby is born? Where are these text messages coming from? Why haven't you/him changed numbers? Blocked hers? Cut her off? Honestly, this just sounds like one big mess that you're both playing into and engaging in, allowing this crazy person into your lives. I'd be running hard and fast as far away from the 2 of them as I could. I certainly would not be trying to have a child with him.

    Anyway...

    First things, I'm not sure where you are but when I had my last baby 2 years ago, I couldn't get a birth certificate with my partners name on it, until he approved it. He was emailed, and had to respond within so long accepting both paternity AND the name. I believe prior to that he had to physically sign the paperwork but that was a long time ago...

    It's been a while from having children before that but I think the father needs to sign/acknowledge he's the father to be put on there in the first place? Because it becomes a legally binding document it requires a signature. If that's the case, sorry, but he's still lying through his teeth to you and is having contact with her.

    I believe the father would have to have the ability to approve/deny their paternity, otherwise I royally messed up. I should've put James packer on my kids - purely for the child support 🤣🤣

    Secondly, IF he IS on the birth certificate (regardless of how he got there), he has to pay child support. There's no way around this. Even if he's not the father.

    So the first thing he needs to do is get a DNA test. If she refuses, hire a lawyer, and again.... get a DNA test. If he's the father he has to at least pay child support for the child, but also possibly there would be custody etc too. Just a huge mess really.

    if he's not the father, he can be removed from the birth certificate-if he's on there - and obviously doesn't have to pay child support.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to EnchantedGrace For This Useful Post:

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  4. #3
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    There is a lot more to this, she has been trying to get with him for months he has changed his number multiple times just so no one an keep up with his number, She tried to put his name on the birth certificate and did not put his email address on there but another one she has access too, to bypass him knowing about it, she posted it on fb that she had it. He has raised a concern about this issue to BDM, he doesn't want anything to do with her at all and is willing to go down the legal route to get all this sorted the legal way. We tried to ignore her and then she contacted his sister and played the we are in a relationship card even though I'm married to him, he has told his family to back off and not engage but they wont listen to him, he wants nothing to do with them, this was before all of this. If it is his there is only one way to proceed and that's to be single and he won't be let back in because that is the ultimate betrayal and i wouldn't be able to put up with her for 18 years and i would never be able to trust him or ever look at him the same.

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    Honestly, his story just does not add up.

    I would strongly advise against trying for another baby with this man at this time.

    He cheated. If you want to move forward with the relationship, you guys need to go to couples therapy to work through this.

    I’m so sorry for your losses.

  6. #5
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    Why does it not add up?
    He never slept with her? She had claimed multiple people to be the father of her other son. This isn't out of her league of what she would do. Let's just say people are talking and it's not in a good way about her.

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    Sorry I just re read your original post. It’s not clear from that whether you thought he actually cheated or not - but if you think she’s purely crazy and targeting him for some reason you guys NEED to go to the police.

    It doesn’t add up because it’s not clear how he ended up on the birth certificate and why BDM is involved if he didn’t sign anything. If his signature was forged by her, then I reiterate that you guys need to go to the police. It’s basically stalking behaviour and if she lied on the BDM forms that is very serious.

    Apologies for misunderstanding your OP.

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