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  1. #1
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    Default One more…?

    I have 2 kids already and want 1 more. Hubby is not keen on another… although about a month ago he said we would have 3 kids which made it set in my head I wanted a third. Anyway… I think about a third everyday, and hubby is a firm no right now and I’m starting to resent him for it.

    Any idea on how to not be so annoyed at hubby? I don’t think the feeling of ‘one more’ is going to leave me

  2. #2
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    I was in your position about 8 years ago.

    After having 2 DDs through IVF I fell pregnant unexpectedly, at a time when both DH and I were content with 2 children. Surprisingly DH was on board straight away and happy about having a 3rd. Sadly I miscarried at 10 weeks.

    As we still had 5 embryos frozen I was desperate to try again for a 3rd baby but DH was adamant that he was content with 2 and that yes while he would have been happy for a 3rd if it happened unexpectedly, if it came down to it he really only wanted 2 kids.

    I was devestated. Rationally I realised that what I wanted wasnt more important than what he wanted but that didnt mean I wasnt really upset. I was very upset but after 6 or so months of bringing it up and DH constantly being a firm no, I knew that one of us had to give and sadly it was me. There was just no way of coming to an agreement that suited both of us when he was firm no and I was a firm yes.

    8 years down the track I sometimes feel a pang of regret but its not often and it's usually when I see a family of three little girls because I think I would have had another girl. I am very happy with my 2 DDs and my relationship with DH is not affected, I am very aware that his desire for 2 children was just as strong as my desire for 3 children and neither of us was wrong in how we felt.

    I'm not sure how you dont get annoyed at your DH because I remember how all consuming the want of another baby was. I guess maybe you could try and remind yourself that he is not saying no to another baby to p!ss you off, its simply how he feels. I also remember that when you want to be pregnant you seem to be surrounded by pregnant women, they're everywhere, and its just a constant reminder that you are not pregnant.

    Could you have a conversation with your DH where you agree not to bring up the idea of another baby for 6 months if he agrees to think seriously about it for 6 months?

    Sending you because I remember how I felt when I was in your position and its not a great place to be.

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