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  1. #1
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    Default How to give money back to sneaky (generous) relative

    Our SIL stayed with us for a week and left us some sneaky cash (which we didn't want/expect or ask for, she's just making a gesture for us hosting them in our house).

    We found it stashed well after she had left (she has flown home interstate).

    She will not give us her bank details to return any funds to her.

    It is more than we are comfortable keeping.

    How would you go about returning some of the funds to her? Should I buy and post her a prepaid VISA card or something? What would you do?

    The amount would cover groceries for us for about a month, so yeah, it's excessive.

  2. #2
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    I have a different take on this but if she really wanted you to have the money then I think you should keep it. Send her a bunch of flowers and a card in the post saying thank you for staying with us, etc, etc and she didn’t need to leave the gift (it wasn’t at all expected or necessarily) but thank you so much. It will probably just make her feel bad if you send it back to her.

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  4. #3
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    Try sending the money through the pay ID function of your bank using her email address or phone number.

    Or you can send money using PayPal if you have her email address. I was able to send money to a friend who sneakily paid for lunch and wouldn’t let me give her cash. Annoyingly though she just sent it back

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    Mod-Degrassi (23-06-2021)

  6. #4
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    I think it's such a lovely gesture. She obviously valued her time there.

    I'd feel like you and want to give it back to her.

    I do like @babyno1onboard s suggestion though, and I could happily do that as a compromise even though I'd never have thought of it myself

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  8. #5
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    Maybe put it aside and next time she comes visit use it to do something fun? Or put it towards a trip to visit her?

    I had a friend who was very stubborn on this. For a good year we played hide the $50 in each other’s houses - I tried to pay her back and she wouldn’t accept so I did a sneaky. She then snuck it back to mine. In the end her husband split it into $25 each and made us take it cause he was sick of finding $50 in weird places

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  10. #6
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    Sometimes we just have to graciously accept, even if it feels wrong. She doesn't want her gift returned. I agree with the flowers idea.

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  12. #7
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    Thanks everyone for the input.

    When she was here, her and the kids were in love with our Disney + subscription, so I bought them a one year membership today.

    It seemed like a thoughtful gesture without just throwing funds back at her

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