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  1. #11
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    I would say they couldn't and not so much they wouldn't. Both of those situations sound like they are anxiety driven - the urge for the child to leave once their safety net does, indicates that somewhere in their gut instinct they feel unsafe. Unfortunately there could be a number of reasons as to why that might be the case. Some kids are naturally more anxious than others and some only freely participate once they've observed the situation enough to know how it all runs/what to expect.

    Is your sibling worried about your niece or nephew? I'm guessing they probably have an inkling that their child is on shyer side as they are quick to intervene.

    In another comment you mentioned that were an introvert. Well high five lovely cause I am too.


    There is a small chance that your niece/nephew might also be introverted and this isn't something you or even your sibling can change. It's something your niece or nephew will have to navigate on their own terms, if they feel being introverted is disruptive or not beneficial to their existence... Although I've never met an introvert who was truly unhappy being one.

    The best you can do is continue to be a source of comfort to this child. Try not to express disappointment when they can't respond or participate as this will only further alienate them from you. If it is anxiety, once they see that you too can be a safe spot free from judgement, they will open up to you. You just might end up being their favourite auntie ever.
    Last edited by MissTwiggley; 18-06-2021 at 21:12.

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    Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  3. #12
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    .
    Last edited by Kalina; 18-06-2021 at 19:31.

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    Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  5. #13
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    Default How to help shy child advice please

    I have an acquaintance who has a child with selective mutism caused by severe anxiety. She only speaks to her Mum, older sister, younger brother and very very rarely her Dad. Her grandparents have never heard her speak. She will not speak to her Mum/sister/brother in front of anyone except her Dad and often then she doesn’t speak to them if Dad is there.

    She had been at school for 3.5 years now and her classmates and teacher have never heard her speak.

    By all accounts she is a little chatterbox at home to Mum/sister/brother.

    OP, I’ve no idea how you bring it up with your family member. Only up will know how they’re likely to take it. I just wanted to mention selective mutism. Maybe read up on it and see if it migth be what you are noticing or if you can find any hints/suggestions etc.
    Last edited by GirlsRock; 18-06-2021 at 18:06.

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    Kalina (18-06-2021),Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  7. #14
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    @GirlsRock could you please edit your post to delete the quote bit? I want to delete that bit when the OP sees it, it's not my story but I wanted to mention it because of the similarity in age and the benefits of early intervention in this particular case.

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    GirlsRock (18-06-2021),Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  9. #15
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    Please private message me @Sirena89.
    Last edited by MissTwiggley; 18-06-2021 at 21:12.

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    Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  11. #16
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    Thank you everyone.
    Twiggley I will pm you tomorrow.
    Can everyone that quoted me delete as I will delete for privacy, thank you!

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    MissTwiggley (18-06-2021)

  13. #17
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    My cousin has Aspergers/ASD but she was only diagnosed as an adult - when she was young, we thought she was just painfully shy as her symptoms were never very obvious, she had no issues at school (quite the opposite). She'd want to participate and look forward to events and catch ups but once there, she would freeze and not really know how to interact or involve herself.

    Do you have any ASD in the family that you know of? You mentioned having a sibling that had similar traits that have continued into adulthood?

    In my experience, regular shyness in kids tends to show itself more around unfamiliar people and places, not so much with close family members who have always been around them but of course, it is still very possible.

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    Sirena89 (18-06-2021)

  15. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissTwiggley View Post
    Please private message me @Sirena89.
    Can’t message you as your inbox is full.
    I sent a msg on Fri night not sure if you received it?


 

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