+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    57
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0

    Default how to respond to child refusing to do something

    hi

    if your 3 year old throws something on the ground at home and refuses to pick it up how would you respond?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    11,641
    Thanks
    3,891
    Thanked
    7,769
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default how to respond to child refusing to do something

    He’s 3 so he just needs positive reinforcement and he will learn and copy what you do (eventually !)

    “We don’t throw our toys/whatever on the floor , let’s pick them up and put them back in their place”

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Elijahs Mum For This Useful Post:

    firsttimefather (31-03-2021),JR03 (31-03-2021),Kalina (31-03-2021)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    57
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    He’s 3 so he just needs positive reinforcement and he will learn and copy what you do (eventually !)

    “We don’t throw our toys/whatever on the floor , let’s pick them up and put them back in their place”
    thank you for this - do you know any good literature on this topic, books or internet?

    id like to educate myself on the topic and propose it as an approach

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    2,830
    Thanks
    3,341
    Thanked
    3,755
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I use the same approach as above for my almost 3 year old (who only very, very occasionally throws something - Like maybe once a month if even that)

    "clothes are for wearing, not for throwing
    food is for eating, not for throwing
    toys are for playing, not for throwing...

    Let's pick/clean it up!"

    Usually his throwing is done during an angry moment.

    That said, if your daughter seems to get a thrill out of throwing things, then buy her some things she can throw (balls or bean bag tossies) and divert her to throwing these items when she starts (We don't throw clothes, but what you can throw is your ball - Let's play catch etc). You will fulfill her need to practice this gross motor skill and hopefully she won't resort to wanting to throw household items in order to do it.

    Just on throwing things - Maybe this will give you a little bit of a laugh or some reassurance that you're not the only parent dealing with absolute cheekiness. My littlest one (1yo) gets the biggest kick out of throwing anything and everything, multiple times a day, every day - and I mean everything (shoes, plates, clothes, items from the pantry - You name it). This morning he busted open a bag of soup mix and just now it was a can of soft drink. He may have learned his lesson with the soft drink as he got a little shock when it burst open and sprayed everywhere (and now I have sticky walls and furnishings which need to be cleaned). Locks don't work, he knows how to get into them and if it's not pantry items, he will throw ANYTHING he can get his hands on. Hopefully this all means that I have a future basketball player on my hands cause I feel like I'm dying.


  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MissTwiggley For This Useful Post:

    Emma1217 (31-03-2021),JustJaq (31-03-2021),Kalina (31-03-2021),Mum-I-Am (01-04-2021)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    20,619
    Thanks
    1,725
    Thanked
    9,914
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Or just don’t pay attention to it. If you give it air, they’ll repeat the behaviour.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    Mum-I-Am (01-04-2021)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,932
    Thanks
    883
    Thanked
    1,367
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default how to respond to child refusing to do something

    My DS is about to be 3. I act according to the reason it was thrown. He is currently pushing boundaries left right and centre.

    If he’s just being silly snd throwing toys out of the tub looking for something I will explain to him

    “please don’t throw your toys because we don’t want them to break, would you like some help finding a specific toy?” I would then give him some positive encouragement and help him clean up the toys he threw out.

    If he throws something out of anger/tantrum, then I explain to him that it’s not acceptable behaviour and that I would like him not to do it again. I also get down to his level and either hold his hands or give him a cuddle and trying to connect with him and help him Express with his words why he felt anger and subsequently threw something. If after explaining and speaking with him calmly he threw something again intentionally I would remove him from the environment he’s in and take him to another room that’s not as stimulating and explain he can come back and play once he has calmed down and is going to play appropriately.

    I also redirect where possible. Eg if you want to do throwing why don’t we get your ball out which is for throwing instead of (whatever item he is throwing).

    As for getting her to pick it up, echoing others just positive reinforcement and encouragement.

    I know you’ve posted a few things recently just throwing it out there;

    Could she be doing it for attention? Maybe she’s jealous of her new sibling and she could be lacking on positive attention and stimulate from both you & your partner and this is one way she knows she will get it, so continues to do so as it’s getting her the attention she wants albeit not for a good reason.

    Best of luck!
    Last edited by Loh4; 31-03-2021 at 22:20.

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    848
    Thanks
    586
    Thanked
    987
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Janet Lansbury is really good

    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimefather View Post
    thank you for this - do you know any good literature on this topic, books or internet?

    id like to educate myself on the topic and propose it as an approach

  11. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    541
    Thanks
    833
    Thanked
    1,845
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I do the above if I feel DD isn't trying to be naughty.

    My DD at 3 knows that throwing things is bad (unless its a ball)..and often when she does things like that, its testing me. She will do those things outdoors or when guests are over and I implement time out and consequences. I can usually tell when she does stuff and isn't trying to be naughty vs testing me.

    The other day DD was at a friends house with us. Everyone was playing nicely inside and DD wanted to go outside and play chasing with her friend. She asked me, I explained its wet outside and we are all playing inside. DD didn't like this response so she decided to challenge me by doing everything she isn't suppose to do (and she announced it).. "Fine ill run inside" and she would run in little circles.. (she knows I have a rule of no running inside the house and certainly not at other peoples houses). Then she would proceed with other things (Ill throw things mummy)etc. I told her if she continues with that behaviour we will go home. She continued with that behaviour and she had to go home after only being there for half an hour.
    She still talks about it " The boy is naughty like that time I was naughty at XYZs house and we had to go home"

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    196
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked
    113
    Reviews
    0
    Is it a frequent behaviour or occasional? Can you pinpoint whether it's in response to being tired/bored/hungry etc? Young children can't regulate their emotions or calm themselves down like adults can so these little expressions of frustration are their way of 'venting'. Taking a toybawa


 

Similar Threads

  1. How to TT the child who flat out refuses ?
    By reAllytee in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-08-2008, 21:44
  2. How to fit 3 child restraints in back seat??
    By samsbrood in forum Product Recommendations & Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-06-2007, 09:58
  3. How Safe Is Your Child? Seminar
    By Pobblebonk in forum Brisbane
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-04-2007, 17:53
  4. How Old Was You Child When They Stopped Day Naps.
    By trina73 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 20-09-2006, 12:20
  5. how old when your child started daycare?
    By sugar n spice in forum Childcare Options
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 16-08-2006, 09:07

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Maternity ClothesLooking to buy maternity clothes? :: Check the bubhub directory of local & online maternity clothes shops :: Find ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...

ADVERTISEMENT