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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default 5yr old struggling with Kindy

    Hello wise ones,

    I’m mostly a confident parent and do my best to be gentle and understanding in my approach. I am however lost and don’t know what to do with my 5yr old. DD is generally a very upbeat, confident, sociable and happy child. She was fine playing in groups of kid’s at daycare/ preschool which she went to 5 days a wk. She was 100% ready for school and I naively thought that socially she’d sail through.
    Fast forward 10 weeks and I have a very insecure and unhappy DD whose putting a brave face on but finding it very tough. She’s not made any new friends yet that she has played with more than once and often spends lunch alone. She knows twins from preschool but they blow hot and cold and that makes her feel worse. She gets on with older kids with their buddy system but just isn’t making friends her own age.
    She’s also been hit twice by boys where she’s defended herself but that’s obviously having an effect as she head butt one of the twins on Friday out of anger. Her behaviour at home is also now shocking with lots of defiance and back chat. I’m devastated at the change I see and it’s making me physically ill. I’ve arranged play dates with trusted friends to buoy her confidence but she behaved so badly yesterday with one of them that I’m scared to have any more friends over. I’m in the process of setting up a play date with 2 girls from her school to try and foster that but I’m now worried how she’ll behave. She’s really finding life tough and I’m lost as to what to do. I also don’t know what’s normal and what’s not for Kindy? The headbutting incident had made me very worried. We are actually going to look at another local school next week and I’m considering moving her as it’s a Catholic one versus this public one so I’m hoping the religious element may ground her a bit more.

    Does anyone have any advice? Is this all normal growing pains? Thanks in advance for reading this far.

    Ps. I have spoken to her teacher but they don’t seem to have a strong presence at lunch or recess unfortunately.
    Last edited by amiracle4me; 21-03-2021 at 10:11.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think a lot of kids aren't socially and emotionally ready at 5 to start school.
    Is she one of the youngest in her class?

    I would try and spend some time talking to DD about making friends and how to make friends. I would encourage her at parks and other places where there are children to practise those skills and what she could say to see those kids again IF they get along. "Maybe you can ask your mum to come here again next weekend so we can play?"

    Role play friend making with toys with her and have a look at youtube videos on making friends and social skills for kids.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Starting school is exhausting and challenging behaviour is completely normal.

    I think too many people place too much emphasis on children being academically ready for school but don’t consider social and emotional readiness. I hear so many people say that their child knows the alphabet or can write their name. That doesn’t mean they are ready for school at all.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    Chippa (25-04-2021),Lincolns mummy (27-03-2021),Molros (27-03-2021)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My DD1 went into school an angel and after half term was an angry demon arguing, brawling and crying all the time. It was just tiredness.

    Both DDs also didn’t find their friendship group until the second year of school. It was always just random people they sometimes played with.

    Even now first term sends DD2 foul. I try not to too much extra in term 1. Usually term 2 they find their rhythm. Except last year with repeated lockdowns was a complete write off.


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