30 weeks pregnant. So depressed.

[MickaylaJane]

(26 yrs old first baby)I’m reaching out, out of desperation. My whole pregnancy (I’m 30 weeks) I haven’t felt truly excited. I have moments of excitement. I can’t help but feel like I’m not ready to be a mum. I feel overwhelming guilt, because I have a long term supportive partner, a home, good jobs etc. I have the most negative thoughts towards everything, I’m crying all the time. I don’t want to see anyone, or socialise, I just want to sleep and sometimes not wake up. I brang it upto my midwife, she didn’t help much. Just told me 1 in 4 suffer from this. Im afraid I’ve made a mistake. I’m constantly being told how life won’t be the same, how I won’t sleep, how hard it is. I just want to know there’s a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

[Beary]

Hello!

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time.

People are right in that it will be hard. But for me, it was nowhere near as hard as I was expecting. The first few weeks were the toughest but then you get into a bit of a Rhythm and it’s all manageable. You will probably get a shock in those first weeks because that’s when the worst sleep deprivation and constant feeding is, but that phase ends and it ends quickly. And then it can be really fun and when you are feeling tired - lean on the support network you described above.

I think I might be like you - I was expecting the absolute worst. But there is 100% light at the end of the tunnel so please don’t worry about that.

Having said this, it does sound like you might have depression or anxiety. That will obviously make things tougher so I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Every single way you manage/protect your mental health will make parenthood a little bit easier.

Are you speaking to a psychologist about your current feelings?

[GirlsRock]

What an awful time you’re having.

It sounds a bit like antenatal depression. My SIL was diagnosed with it during her first pregnancy. She had very supportive midwives though who referred her to a clinic with the hospital for pre and post birth counselling / support.

Could you maybe call PANDA and see if they could help in some way?

It’s really positive that you’re recognising that how you are feeling is probably not “normal” (for want of a better word). Reaching out is a great first step.

All the very best.