+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    184
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0

    Default To confront or not to confront colleague

    Hi, just wondering if there's any HR experts here or hubbers with people management experience? I want to know how I should politely confront a colleague that I heard through another colleague that he/she has been talking/criticising behind my back? or is it better to bring this up to a manager?

    I have a colleague who has viewed my work activities behind my back as our team allows a shared email inbox amongst several people including myself. Due to the nature of my job, my work allows several people access to a shared inbox so there is no such thing as a 'privacy' especially when there's an email addressed to me.

    Today i received an email from my manager to that shared inbox with instructions and feedback about my recent project which needed some improvements, etc (very factual, logical feedback and i accepted it - nothing wrong with it actually). However one colleague unfortunately had a chance to take a look that email and took this opportunity to criticise about my work which he spoke to another colleague about. Those criticisms weren't even the true series of events, and there were false conclusions (lots of assumptions)

    Upon hearing that, i really wanted to respond to him, to give a new perspective. I spoke my other colleague whom I heard about this incident from and she didn't mind me going up to him and tell him that I've heard from her. I am confident my female colleague wasn't lying and this male colleague's criticism was derived from this feedback email and it wasn't a made up criticism, but i disliked his criticism and false conclusions which it felt like it had damaged my reputation.

    What is the acceptable way of 'confronting' him? I will lose nothing, but not sure if i'll gain anything. Because if you confront someone they'll normally deny anyway?
    Last edited by bunnymum; 27-01-2021 at 22:37.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    11,781
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    7,407
    Reviews
    9
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default To confront or not to confront colleague

    I would suggest reframing your thoughts so it isn’t a confrontation. Think of it as a constructive discussion, setting boundaries. It’s less likely to head south if your intended outcome is to prevent future issues occurring.

    Ask to speak to him in private. Let him know that you heard that X had been said to Y about you, and that you didn’t appreciate your reputation being tarnished in that way. Let him know that it is inappropriate to access your emails that aren’t directly related to work tasks. Ask him to come to you directly if he has any questions about your work in future.

    This way he knows that you know and whilst he might snoop again, he’s not going to talk about it. If he does, you have grounds to escalate it further.

    Keep notes of the discussion, date, time, his response, etc. in case you do need to take it further.


 

Similar Threads

  1. To confront FOB about his lack of interest in DS or not?
    By aquarius22 in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 24-02-2014, 11:19
  2. Should I confront him?
    By Issey in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 19-05-2007, 14:19
  3. How can i confront my mother about my parenting style
    By neostudded in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 28-03-2007, 00:46
  4. confronted rude mil tonight!!
    By neostudded in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 18-01-2007, 00:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
StorychestThe journal meets photo album meets scrapbook for the digital age. Capture and save stories and precious moments of ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...

ADVERTISEMENT