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  1. #1
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    Default School gate politics

    Those with kids in younger primary years - how chatty/ friendly are you with other mums at dropoff and pickup times? Do you actively seek out and nurture those relationships? Are you indifferent? Do you find that like playground politics, school gate politics is a thing?

  2. #2
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    My 1st is going into grade 4, I don't usually engage too much. I'm such an introvert 🤣 We have a few we always chat to, our sons closest friend's parents, and a few others that we know from outside school. That's it.

    Our 2nd is starting school this year and I can't see me talking to too many of them. One of the girls I despise after I saw her messaging my df on Facebook trying to get into his pants... sooo probably not going to nurture anything there. 🤣 small towns suck.
    Last edited by EnchantedGrace; 16-01-2021 at 21:22.

  3. #3
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    I barely spoke to anyone the first year of school when my oldest started primary 4 years ago, got to know a few mums over the last few years but not super well except for one. 2020 was such an unusual year that I have actually missed catching up with lots of them, as I had a Dd in foundation we were doing pick up/drop off at a different gate to the grade 3 parents. I have still managed to get to know two of the foundation parents who we’ve had play dates outside of school with. I don’t think there have been any issues amongst those groups that I can think of so no real playground politics. Some of the women our kids are close friends and others they don’t really play with at school.

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    I try to make friends but I feel I am different and awkward 🤷‍♀️ I feel I made friends but it takes so much energy from me/it is so draining that I wonder as to why do I bother..

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    Default School gate politics

    We moved just before my youngest started her first year of school. My other children were going into year 4 and year 2.

    I was working part time then and there was a great bunch of mums (and dads) in my youngest’s class. It was great getting to know all the mums and that’s how I met new friends when we left Sydney. They are my friends now where we live and we go for dinner, to trivia and weekends away together. My youngest is starting year 3 this year. I didn’t really make too many friends with the mums of my older children as most children start to make their own way to and from school as they get to year 2/3 so those parents aren’t at the gate or near the classroom or they’re waiting for younger siblings elsewhere. Some children also go to after school care so you don’t see the parents.

    At my children’s previous school, I didn’t really make friends that I would go out with etc. Sure, I was very friendly with other mums and they were friendly with me and we would chat a lot but I already had an established group of friends outside of the school, so I wasn’t actively seeking friendships and I was just happy with a quick chat with the other mums before and after school. I was also on the p&c at that school, but didn’t join at the new school.

    To be honest, I’ve not really encountered any snobbiness from other mums. That could be to do with the areas we lived. If anything I was an “outcast” at the school in Sydney because there was a big Lebanese Muslim population but I was never made to feel like I didn’t fit in or that they excluded me at the school. They always spoke to me and my kids were always invited to birthdays etc. Even at the new school, I never felt left out and interestingly enough, the really good friends I’ve made are mostly people who also left Sydney
    Last edited by BigRedV; 26-01-2021 at 05:12.

  6. #6
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    My children are going in to grade 2 and 5 this year.
    I can be a little shy at first but I made an effort to be friendly at drop off and pick up.
    I’ve made 5 of my closest friends through my children’s school.
    We do things with the children, sports, fun days out, sleep overs etc but we also have nights out child free, breakfast dates, we babysit for each other.
    We have really built a lovely little group. It wasn’t easy for me at the start but I am so glad I pushed myself.
    Volunteering in class is a great way to meet other parents.

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    I can't comment specifically on school gate politics, being a home schooling family. But just to say that the mums of my kid's friends have become my closest friends, so it's definitely worthwhile being friendly with other parents and just enjoying a chat without thinking too much into it. There are probably cliquey types everywhere (including homeschool groups!) but I find if I just ignore any gossipy chat and/or try not to judge people from outward appearances or one off comments, then I pretty much am unawares of politics anyway and just enjoy people where they're at. There's some you won't mesh with of course in every social situation.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BornToBe For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard (17-01-2021),Fi Poledancer (26-01-2021),MissTwiggley (17-01-2021)

  9. #8
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    Default School gate politics

    DD just finished kindy. I chatted to the other parents at drop off and pick up and have met up with the parents of the kids that DD played with the most. I haven’t noticed any politics or gossiping but I’m usually a bit off in my own little world so if it was happening I probably wouldn’t realise. It’s a pretty chilled little place anyway, everyone is pretty laid back and whatever goes.
    Work gets a bit *****y sometimes and I usually just ignore it or change the subject, not interested in that kind of negativity although sometimes it hard to ignore completely.
    Last edited by babyno1onboard; 17-01-2021 at 13:39.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EnchantedGrace View Post
    One of the girls I despise after I saw her messaging my df on Facebook trying to get into his pants... sooo probably not going to nurture anything there. 🤣 small towns suck.
    Errrr WTF!! I want to know what she said (after I just posted about steering clear of gossip )

  11. #10
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    i’ve only experienced kinder so far with ds, i’m friendly to everyone, say hi and have a chat if the time and situation facilitates it. if i hit off with someone and ds likes them too, i’m happy to meet up for a play date. i wouldn’t say i actively seek out friendships but if i hit off with someone then sure, why not.

    there was a bit of a clique i didn’t really like last year, headed up by a real piece of work. i actively avoided her, by the end of the year a few other people i talked to said the same thing about her too. she was like the type at high school who has to be organizing everything and has the loudest voice and the best ideas and wants everyone to kiss her ar$e. i can’t stand those sorts of people so i just keep my distance.


 

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