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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD? Leaving child home alone

    Can I please ask for no judgment. We are looking for what you would do in this situation. Please don’t quote as I’ll edit the details later.

    I have been offered a job (hooray!) and the hours are a little harder than we would hope. I will be working 7:30am to 4:00pm. Not every day but potentially.

    DF works shift work. He works 7 to 7. Night and day shift.

    The WWYD.
    On the days DF is working night shift he comes home by 7:15am. I will need to leave between 6:45am and 7:00am at the absolute latest (I haven’t double checked this time. More likely need to leave before 7am)
    DS is 6, 7 in February. He is a pretty responsible kid. Isn’t silly etc. would you let him be home by himself for 20-30 minutes between you leaving for work and your partner coming home? We have no family close by, I have a friend a few houses up but can’t ask her to have him (it’s not worth asking) I could provide him with a cheap mobile phone with her number for emergencies. He would either watch tv, iPad or play in his toy room when I leave.

    We do have the option of before school care, which will be used on DFs day shift days but wondering if it’s worth dragging DS there so early for the sake of 30 minutes? At least being home he doesn’t leave for school until near 8:30am.

    So WWYD in this situation?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hasselhoff View Post
    Can I please ask for no judgment. We are looking for what you would do in this situation. Please don’t quote as I’ll edit the details later.

    I have been offered a job (hooray!) and the hours are a little harder than we would hope. I will be working 7:30am to 4:00pm. Not every day but potentially.

    DF works shift work. He works 7 to 7. Night and day shift.

    The WWYD.
    On the days DF is working night shift he comes home by 7:15am. I will need to leave between 6:45am and 7:00am at the absolute latest (I haven’t double checked this time. More likely need to leave before 7am)
    DS is 6, 7 in February. He is a pretty responsible kid. Isn’t silly etc. would you let him be home by himself for 20-30 minutes between you leaving for work and your partner coming home? We have no family close by, I have a friend a few houses up but can’t ask her to have him (it’s not worth asking) I could provide him with a cheap mobile phone with her number for emergencies. He would either watch tv, iPad or play in his toy room when I leave.

    We do have the option of before school care, which will be used on DFs day shift days but wondering if it’s worth dragging DS there so early for the sake of 30 minutes? At least being home he doesn’t leave for school until near 8:30am.

    So WWYD in this situation?

    Thanks!
    Not that that age, I wouldn’t. It could sometimes be more than 30 mins if there was traffic/car trouble etc? DD started staying home for about an hour aged 11 while doing online school (Covid) and I took DS to school but she was on live lessons so if there was a problem she could notify her teacher, also our estate has 24/7 security in the event of an emergency. I personally wouldn’t have considered it any younger.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

  4. #3
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    Gosh that’s tricky.

    My nephew is 7 and I am basing my thoughts on him.

    If you could be sure that there would be no variations to normal I think a 7yo would be ok.

    My worries would be his ability to deal with a situation like a fire or someone knocking on the door. I know my nephew wouldn’t have the problem solving skills to deal with that.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

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    Default WWYD? Leaving child home alone

    I couldn’t do it. When my kids were 11 & 9 DH and I both went to bootcamp at 6.15am (usually we went on separate days but couldn’t do that one time). We left the girls asleep in bed. I was anxious the entire time. We got home an hour later and they were both still sleeping.

    I’d be worried the entire time that something would happen to DF to make him late or DS would do something out of the ordinary and hurt himself.

    It’s funny how getting a job seems like the hard part but in actual fact getting a job that aligns perfectly with your childcare requirements is almost impossible.

    I’d use before school care in your circumstances.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

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    I personally would be concerned about potential ‘what ifs’. He’s still pretty young.

    I would pop him in before school care.

    How does your DF feel after working all night? My DH is a shift worker too - when he comes home after working all night he showers and goes to bed pretty much straight away. He was never keen on doing the school drop when he was really fatigued and ready to sleep.

    My DS is now in before school care 5 days a week as we moved out of zone and I drive him in. He loves going and it gives me peace of mind that he’s in a safe place with supervision.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

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    My nephew is 8 and I couldn’t imagine him being left home alone. Even though realistically he’d sit on his tablet or watch tv for the whole day without moving given the chance.

    I would utilise before school care. As someone who works 12hr shifts, I am dead when I get home from work. I never do the daycare drop off after a night shift because if something happened on the drive over, I’d never forgive myself. There are some mornings where I am literally slapping myself in the face to wake up. They say that someone driving sleep deprived aka night shift workers have the impairment of someone with a blood alcohol level of at least 0.05 - scary when you think how many people like that are on the road every day. So from that perspective, I’d go with the safest option of before school care.

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  12. #7
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    As the mum of a 6 year old, no I wouldn't leave him home alone even if only for 20-30 minutes. He may be responsible enough to not touch the stove or get himself into a pickle, but I worry about external factors like a potential robbery. Someone watching your house will watch you leave every day and believe the house is now empty for a small period of time. I would definitely send him to before school care.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

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    I dont have experience with kids that age but would worry if DH was late or something happened to him on the way home and you weren't aware, then what would happen with DS.
    I also wouldnt because you seem unsure and imo if you aren't sure then best to err on the safe side.
    I'd also worry that if something did happen you would blame yourself (not trying to sound harsh) but I know that's what i would do. And even mature responsible kids to weird and crazy out of character things sometimes. Best of luck though whatever you decide.

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    Hasselhoff (28-10-2020)

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    Thanks everyone! I think the slight risk is a huge factor and may just be best to talk through with DF that we may need to use before school care for now. It’s not every day so won’t be too bad for him. Some days will be very long but he will slowly get used to it.

    Thanks everyone! I’ll talk to DF and let him have a read here too so he can see it.

    Isn’t is funny.. my parents wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving us home that young but now there’s so much more thought to it.

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    I think I’d have to use before school care just to put my mind at ease, but I’m an ott worrier. I see a lot of kids taking themselves to and from school from around 7 though and staying home for 15 mins alone seems safer imo! Maybe use before school care while you settle into new routine and revisit the idea after that?

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