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  1. #1
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    Default So nervous!

    Hello,
    I am wanting to have our 3rd baby and this week is the optimal time to conceive. I am just SO NERVOUS about it. This isn't something new to me. I have been nervous about it for quite some time. I just feel that now it is getting to the point of now or never. My youngest is almost 5 and my eldest has just turned 7.
    I am just so scared about going back to the start again. I just love my kids and having kids around, as hard as some days are. I feel my two are growing up so fast I just want to hold on to/extend that for a little longer.
    Will I cope being pregnant and tired and feeling yuk with active kids around? How will i handle everything with a newborn and school run and afterschool activities?

    I really do want another but I am so so scared, it makes me really sad. I long for that tiny baby to hold in my arms again. Then I stop myself and remember they do grow up to big people! However I love my two girls and who they are becoming.
    I'm so scared of the change.
    Or should I be listening to these nerves and just sticking with the two?

    Any advice / help would be so appreciated.
    Last edited by PinkPrint; 08-09-2020 at 18:15.

  2. #2
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    Hi!! I've got 3 boys, 9.5, almost 5.5 and almost 16 months. I wouldn't have it any other way, despite it being busy and full on.

    I had a really good pregnancy. I had morning sickness early on, but I don't suffer badly. Just wavs of nausea, gagging and dry retching. No actual vomiting.

    I found going from 1-2 insanely difficult, but 2-3 wasn't so bad. Do you have much support around? How hands on is your other half? Mines not great at all, and from 6-11 months old he was working 3 hours away so I was essentially solo parenting an 8.5yo, 4.5yo, and 6 month old. He came home for 36ish hours each week. I managed school, childcare and extra curriculars ok. If I'd had a particularly bad night I could call on my mum to collect my eldest from school or take him or my 2nd to swimming etc, but I didn't need to do that very much at all.

    I found my 3rd just slot in, and the older two made allowances. It just seemed to work, but the 3rd WAS an easy baby. (He's a full on nightmare as a toddler though 😅 he's like my own personal tornado shadow, it's brilliant)

    If he was my 2nd, things would've been very different. My 2nd was a hard baby, and clingy toddler. He rarely slept and spent the whole day feeding, or crying.

    I had to think about did I want that 3rd or not. Certainly no regrets. But the decision to make the jump to "YES, we ARE doing this" always gave me anxiety until we were sure which way we were going. Once we decided yes, I couldnt wait to be pregnant.

    I know I don't want a 4th... 😂 we thought I may have had to stop birth control and I panicked about the potential for a 4th. So maybe you could ask yourself IF you had a surprise pregnancy, how would you feel? Happy and excited? Or terrified?
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 09-09-2020 at 06:09.

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    PinkPrint (09-09-2020)

  4. #3
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    I am in a similar situation!! We have a 9 and 10 year old and have been trying for our third and final baby!

    I too am nervous about going back to diapers and sleepless nights but I know there is no way I’ll regret having another baby! But I’ll always wonder what if, if we don’t!!!
    The baby will have to fit into our family!!! I am hoping it will learn to sleep on the run and be very tolerant to our busy lives!!!

    I can’t wait to see our big two with their new sibling!!!

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    PinkPrint (09-09-2020)

  6. #4
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    @shadowangel0205 How did you finally decide that it was a definite yes?
    I think if I had a suprise pregnancy I would go into a complete panic.
    I think if I didn’t have to think about it for 9 months and just had the baby straight away I would be okay.
    I just feel this sadness about the change.

  7. #5
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    I have 3 (newly pregnant with number 4) and going 2-3 was the easiest. Try not to stress about things too far in the future. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

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    PinkPrint (09-09-2020)

  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPrint View Post
    @shadowangel0205 How did you finally decide that it was a definite yes?
    I think if I had a suprise pregnancy I would go into a complete panic.
    I think if I didn’t have to think about it for 9 months and just had the baby straight away I would be okay.
    I just feel this sadness about the change.
    I always knew I wanted 3, so there wasn't a huge amount of convincing needed 😅 but it was still scary in the "are we doing the right thing? Should we? Is NOW the right time?" Stage. I don't think you can ever really know?

    Although, the universe kind of took the stress out of the decision in a round about way! I removed my birth control late may, had an irregular cycle and was still breastfeeding so didn't expect anything for a while. We were unending to let my body adjust to no artificial hormones and start trying october-novemberish. I did expect it to take a LONG time trying after our 2nd took close to 2 years of ttc to get.... but I was surprised in September when I had awful nausea that woke me up at 2am...aannndddd...then later that day I got my BFP.

    My biggest "OMG, what have we done!?!" Moment, was when I was waiting for df to bring the car to collect me from hospital, and I had all 3 kids with me. I suddenly realised*we* were outnumbered, and *i* didn't have enough hands to hold each cos hand at once 😂 but, that's the only moment.

    The kids have adjusted really well. Now that he's into everything though, my eldest is now telling me he's an animal, and should be locked in a cage 🤦‍♀️ but deep down he loves him.

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    PinkPrint (09-09-2020)

  11. #7
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    For us, the "cons" list of a third child was too long. My heart wanted a third, but my brain made the decision. That was almost 4 years ago and my kids are 12 and 7. I went through some initial mourning/letting go, but am 100% certain we made the right choice.

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    PinkPrint (09-09-2020)

  13. #8
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    Thank you all for the replies.
    I just cant seem to shake the nerves of it all. I can’t put my finger on it.
    I guess i’m always reading/seeing how hard motherhood is and yeah it is! But can’t someone just tell me its going to be easy! ha ha
    I don’t know if I would cope with 9 months of pregnancy, the unknown. How can I be okay with it?
    I have spoken to my GP about it all and they have put me on 10mg of Lexapro back in July. I was always hesitant to take medication but as these feelings have gone on for so long I decided to take it. I’m just unsure if its doing anything.
    I’m sure I would love another baby I just don’t know how I would manage the logistics and also I feel this instant longing missing of my current children. I don’t want a new baby to take me away from them.
    Just so sad about it all.

  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    I have 3 (newly pregnant with number 4) and going 2-3 was the easiest. Try not to stress about things too far in the future. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
    I’m definately stressing about the future and its putting me off. I don’t know how to stop it ?

    I feel like I would be starting all over again.

  15. #10
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    I wish I could just be care free about it - DTD and not bat an eye lid instead of going into a panic and thinking i’ve made a mistake.


 

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