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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    she’s usually like this with me. it feels like some weird competitive thing, she always refuses to acknowledge my struggles. or wins. eg: we paid our car off last week, it was only the last $400. instead of just oh congrats, she replies with “church money”. there’s always a subtle put down or backhanded compliment. she has no real close female friends, hangs out with our cousin lots, but no real close female friends. sort of derides the fact i bothered to keep close with my mothers group, retorts she “doesn’t have time for superficial friendships” when i mention my little support network. just stuff like that. i almost expect it from her now but it still bothers me.
    Do you like her or do you maintain the relationship because there’s a family obligation to do so? Actually I’m now thinking we might have already had this conversation a while ago... I don’t want to say much because this is public but I don’t get along with my sister, similar to yours, she really has no friends (can’t really maintain long term relationships, thinks a disagreement means the whole friendship has to end), puts me down, etc. so I just don’t talk to her unless I run into her at my parents house. It is so good that there’s no expectation from either of us that we maintain a friendship. We’re not even Facebook friends anymore.

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    turquoisecoast (04-08-2020)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    this! ill quote you verbatim. dabbling in its summarizes it perfectly. the ability to choose which aspects of the “disaster” to apply to
    your own life are nice privilege. but stop playing games and pretending you know what it’s like.

    like she was telling me oh if it all went down here in wa, we’d go to our parents place, safety in numbers etc. that alone is so ignorant because in a true state of disaster, you’re restricted from traveling anywhere. it’s like she thinks she can just up and go, regardless of the fact that police are enforcing stay at home directives. it’s like she thinks i’m just complaining because it’s a bit hard, she really doesn’t get it.
    Big hugs hun.
    Living in the other end of the country where everything is open. Masks are a foreign concept to most people. In reality I have no idea how it feels like to live there atm. I have 2 dds that tell me about it but its not the same.

    Dd got out of work last night (way after the curfew) and all of sudden there is no train to get home for 2 freaking hours. Her work train station station is one that in middle of not very well lit streets. Its late at night and she got no way home. She ended taking a expensive uber.

    So while i hear their stories and their hear the worries they have I can never fully understand what it is like.

    It's not hard to try and understand. I am sorry your sister is not even trying.

    If you want someone to listen and not judge feel free to pm me.

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    turquoisecoast (04-08-2020)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Big hugs hun.
    Living in the other end of the country where everything is open. Masks are a foreign concept to most people. In reality I have no idea how it feels like to live there atm. I have 2 dds that tell me about it but its not the same.

    Dd got out of work last night (way after the curfew) and all of sudden there is no train to get home for 2 freaking hours. Her work train station station is one that in middle of not very well lit streets. Its late at night and she got no way home. She ended taking a expensive uber.

    So while i hear their stories and their hear the worries they have I can never fully understand what it is like.

    It's not hard to try and understand. I am sorry your sister is not even trying.

    If you want someone to listen and not judge feel free to pm me.
    thanks lovely.

    see that’s just it, i fully don’t expect her to understand fully. how can she. but if someone is a bit down and out, acknowledge those feelings as real and valid (because they are), don’t crash in and compare to your own experience, which is not even relevant nor helpful.

    i heard about the trains and thought about people like your dd. how scary to get out after dark and no train for 2 hours. i get why they’ve done it but it creates logistical and safety issues for people like your dd.

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    LoveLivesHere (04-08-2020)

  7. #14
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    Finally got DD2 seen by a doctor now that she has a negative covid result. Poor darling needed antibiotics for bronchitis

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    Do you like her or do you maintain the relationship because there’s a family obligation to do so? Actually I’m now thinking we might have already had this conversation a while ago... I don’t want to say much because this is public but I don’t get along with my sister, similar to yours, she really has no friends (can’t really maintain long term relationships, thinks a disagreement means the whole friendship has to end), puts me down, etc. so I just don’t talk to her unless I run into her at my parents house. It is so good that there’s no expectation from either of us that we maintain a friendship. We’re not even Facebook friends anymore.
    i think perhaps we have discussed this before. i definitely remember the bits and pieces you’ve said about your relationship with your sister.

    for us, we are reasonably close. but there’s this undercurrent almost of, i don’t know, competitiveness? i’m two years older. i feel like she’s always trying to be a bit smug (about certain things) towards me. other stuff we are fine, talk normally about. but just certain topics seem to trigger this strange response in her and she acts a bit weird, either tries to be pious and holier than thou or behaves dismissively (like in this instance).

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    JR03 (05-08-2020)

  11. #16
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    I'm pretty much not engaging with anyone outside of Melbourne atm, @turquoisecoast. Even all those "We're with you, Victoria" posts on FB **** me. Sure, you're with us as you go out to cafes and sports and feel smug about how well you're doing. It'll be with you, soon enough.

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  13. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SJ565 View Post
    I'm pretty much not engaging with anyone outside of Melbourne atm, @turquoisecoast. Even all those "We're with you, Victoria" posts on FB **** me. Sure, you're with us as you go out to cafes and sports and feel smug about how well you're doing. It'll be with you, soon enough.
    look away now then.

    Adjustments.jpg

    i just saw this one fb and my blood started
    boiling.

    i’m actually beginning to think it might be sensible to block all non melb/non vic fb friends because nobody really seems to get it. they think it’s a joke and we are the butt of it. it’s actually really really upsetting because people are losing their jobs, their businesses, their mental health and significant relationships are suffering. yet the rest of australia, comfortable in their ignorance, see it fit to laugh at us.

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  15. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    look away now then.

    Attachment 104519

    i just saw this one fb and my blood started
    boiling.

    i’m actually beginning to think it might be sensible to block all non melb/non vic fb friends because nobody really seems to get it. they think it’s a joke and we are the butt of it. it’s actually really really upsetting because people are losing their jobs, their businesses, their mental health and significant relationships are suffering. yet the rest of australia, comfortable in their ignorance, see it fit to laugh at us.
    Yes, and pay lipservice to "we're all in this together" when it suits them. Scomo says we're all Victorians today and then ****s off to go watch the footy from the grandstands. Oh, it must be tough to have your kids home with you while trying to work, but moving right along, will that project be finished on Friday as planned?

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  17. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SJ565 View Post
    Yes, and pay lipservice to "we're all in this together" when it suits them. Scomo says we're all Victorians today and then ****s off to go watch the footy from the grandstands. Oh, it must be tough to have your kids home with you while trying to work, but moving right along, will that project be finished on Friday as planned?
    it’s really really sh it isn’t it. so dismissive. dh was saying today that when it was all of australia, there was more of a sense of camaraderie. now it’s like oh yeah, we’ve moved on from that, victoria who? oh they’re still hiding in their houses and being idiots and dropping dead hahah.

    makes me so angry. i think this disaster is really showing us a side of some people and it’s not all that nice.

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    SJ565 (05-08-2020)

  19. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    Yep, as pp said above, exposing the fragility.
    Maybe I'm over tired, or perhaps I've missed the point completely but so much more has been going on that would negatively impact people's mental health than being forced to stay at home. I don't think the majority of people were fragile and on the edge of a mental health cliff before this happened, but the sum total of recent events would have had a profound impact on lots of people. eg here is a list of things that have upset me recently. I'm sure I'm not the only one - mass job losses, shut down of entire industries, number of deaths overseas in particular Italy, Spain, England and New York, panic buying and empty supermarket shelves led to the fear that I would run out of food, the pressure WFH while simultaneously having to home school a SN child, the pressure of having to set up a home office when chairs, computers etc were flying off the shelves and having to spend savings that I had earmarked for home repairs to kit out out said office, sacking of staff at work led to paranoia and being scared I would be next, having to redesign how we do our business ie shift F2F events with external parties to online and reengineer our work practices, fear of the future, too much change too quickly, not knowing how, when and if all of this will end, feeling cut off from friends and family.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 04-08-2020 at 22:42.

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