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  1. #11
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    Honestly, I'm struggling with this too. DS is 3, DD is 11 months. I've always wanted 3 or 4, but it took a while to meet DH, who is 8 years older than me.
    So I'm 34 now, and DH will be 42 in Dec and he keeps *jokingly* saying he wants to get the snip as soon as he can. He thinks DD has broken him (poor man! 😂).
    There are times I feel content with the two "Oh I'd like a third, but I'm ok with two"... but then the idea of stopping, of not having a third makes me pretty upset. My period isn't even back yet so there's no point having the conversation until we are even in the place to consider it.
    I've struggled a bit this time around mentally, but as a previous poster said, they're only this little for a short time.

  2. #12
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    Both my husband and I have a child each from previous relationships. When we met, we were both positive we were finished with children, neither of us wanting more. DH was a young dad (20) and had a tough time coping with raising his son (was the primary carer). I was a young mum and was in a DV relationship when I had DD.
    One day I woke up and realised I was desperate for more and DH was also keen for another... Two years later and I'm currently 30weeeks pregnant with the third baby of our blended family

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    Munchkin8 (13-10-2020)

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by nudge88 View Post
    Both my husband and I have a child each from previous relationships. When we met, we were both positive we were finished with children, neither of us wanting more. DH was a young dad (20) and had a tough time coping with raising his son (was the primary carer). I was a young mum and was in a DV relationship when I had DD.
    One day I woke up and realised I was desperate for more and DH was also keen for another... Two years later and I'm currently 30weeeks pregnant with the third baby of our blended family
    Congratulations, that’s wonderful!!

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaria086 View Post
    Honestly, I'm struggling with this too. DS is 3, DD is 11 months. I've always wanted 3 or 4, but it took a while to meet DH, who is 8 years older than me.
    So I'm 34 now, and DH will be 42 in Dec and he keeps *jokingly* saying he wants to get the snip as soon as he can. He thinks DD has broken him (poor man! ������).
    There are times I feel content with the two "Oh I'd like a third, but I'm ok with two"... but then the idea of stopping, of not having a third makes me pretty upset. My period isn't even back yet so there's no point having the conversation until we are even in the place to consider it.
    I've struggled a bit this time around mentally, but as a previous poster said, they're only this little for a short time.
    Hi @Elaria086 I can really relate to what you’re saying! I started this thread/post back in July and was hoping to have convinced DH about another child. But frustratingly he’s still sitting on the fence about it. We also have a larger age gap, he’s 10 years older than me. I’m 36 next year and I just feel like I’m running out of time plus our DD is 5 and the longer we take to decide the bigger that age gap between her and a new sibling will be! Our 2nd child has always been hard work and challenging which has always put us off having more. But I still don’t feel done yet!
    I’d say, sit down with your DH and chat to him about it. Because my DH said he forgets I’m 10 years younger than him and I’m not at that stage of being done with kids. Good luck

  6. #15
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    I think you truly know. I know, right now, that this is my last pregnancy. I'm ready to move on from birth, babies and toddlers after this little one. However, if I'd stopped before this pregnancy, I'd always have that tickle in the back of my mind, of who might have joined us.

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    Munchkin8 (13-10-2020)

  8. #16
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    i love the idea of another baby, they’re so cute and cuddly and it really is so cozy. but..i don’t want another kid. most days my hands are more than full with two. the idea of another variable to juggle onto the mix fills me with dread. i feel a mix of sadness and relief as we slowly jettison the baby stuff as dd outgrows it. i do feel a sense of excitement as we begin to see the kids grow in independence and slowly become less physically reliant on us for every single thing. you start to get back parts of yourself and have more time. so i will always treasure the baby years (they really do go so fast, it’s unbelievable that not so long ago i was pregnant with ds, and now dd is a toddler and 2 in april next year) and remember them with fondness, but i don’t feel the need to keep having more babies to hold onto that feeling. i think another baby would probably be too much for us, we have so little family help and support and it’s a lot for two adults on their own. i have no desire to give up my career either, i’m not a sahm by any stretch.

    for those reasons, i know in my heart we are done with babies. if i were to fall pregnant by accident i have no idea what we’d do, it would be a real dilemma. but we definitely aren’t planning for any more. we have two beautiful kids, a boy and a girl, really can’t ask for anything more than that.

  9. #17
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    Default How do you know when you’re done?

    For me, I’m like Borntobe said, “when you know, you know”.

    I haven’t ever stopped being clucky, and love watching One Born Every Minute but after baby number 4, I felt content and done so to speak. I also told myself I wouldn’t have babies in my 40’s, and being that I didn’t start till my early 30’s, that was what I did and my last baby was at 37.

    As the kids get older and more independent, it makes the decision a lot easier, for me anyway. The more the years go by, the less I imagine being back in newborn/toddler days and am loving the new chapters.
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 13-10-2020 at 15:01.

  10. #18
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    I wish I could be absolutely certain. I know I'm done, but I do still have that little niggly voice, that I shove a sock in, that tells me, "just 1 more, maybe it'll be a girl, how cute are babies."
    Then I remember how little support I get from df and how crazy things are now, I couldn't imagine trying to add another to the mix

  11. #19
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    When we made the decision I did not have the "when you're done you're done" feeling. I had doubts and uncertainty, I had lots of thoughts of hoping for an accidental 3rd. I felt like my head won over my heart in the decision to stop at 2.

    However, once DH got the snip and I could mentally move on from any possibility I found complete peace with the decision. That was a few years ago and now I look at my family and the idea that there could have been another just seems odd. There is definitely no sense of there being someone missing etc. I definitely don't regret the decision even though at the time I was not sure I was done.

  12. #20
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    We always said two children but after DS2 was born I had this feeling that someone was missing. Sounds silly but I just didn’t feel like our family was complete.. DH tooK a lot of convincing but DS3 joined us in June 2019. As soon as I heard his first cries I knew I had all the little people I needed and felt “done”.

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    Elaria086 (14-10-2020)


 

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