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  1. #1
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    Default Part-time co-sleeping, is there such a thing?

    So here's a possibly unusual question about co-sleeping.

    My baby is almost one. Sleep has been hit and miss, but we've kind of settled into having a bf and snuggle, then I put her in her cot and nine times out of ten she rolls over and goes to sleep, when she doesn't I stay with her until she dozes off. Usually she wakes once or twice overnight, I feed her back to sleep - she's always been quick at the boob, a few minutes tops. She's slept through on half a dozen random occasions. She's a superb day napper - into the cot awake, one big nap of about 2 or 2.5 hours, one shorter one of about an hour give or take. It all works for the two of us.

    The thing is.... I'm struggling a bit with having her in her own room. Increasingly I'm tempted to bring her into bed with me when she wakes overnight so that I can cuddle her. Nothing like cuddling a sleeping baby 🥰. But I haven't (unless she's not feeling well) because I worry that it'll become really disruptive for her sleep and she'll lose the ability to fall asleep in her cot and sleep there.

    So, is there anyone out there who started co-sleeping when their baby was older? Whose baby happily goes to sleep in a cot for most of the night, but then co-sleeps only for a few hours? Am I a moron for even considering this when sleep is going ok?

  2. #2
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    I should add that I'm not in a hurry to get her sleeping 12 hours straight. I actually really like having our time in the middle of the night, just us, when all is quiet and dark. I feed her, have a cuddle, breathe her in.

    But getting up once or twice is my limit, any more than that and I struggle to function. My first woke multiple times a night for 18 months and I don't want to re-create that experience...

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    Wow - your current sleeping situation sounds amazing.
    I have an 11 month old and our sleeping situation is terrible so if I were you I'd be very happy and wouldn't change a thing.
    We have several wakings a night, always waking up upset, I've never been able to put babe into the cot awake - she becomes hysterical very quickly.
    Do you have a 'safe' co-sleeping bed?
    We have recently stopped our habit of incidental co-sleeping because our bed is off the ground and babe could climb out and fall, she has just started to crawl (a bit late).
    Poor babe is NOT enjoying the transition back to her cot full time.
    We enjoy a lot of contact napping during the day as I have a 2 year old to supervise as well.
    But yes I love sleeping next to babe - smelling her smell - staring at her super up close in the middle of the night.

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    Kalina (23-07-2020)

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    My kids rarely sleep through. My eldest we bed shared from about 11 weeks, through necessity. He was really sick and wouldn't settle anywhere but touching me... I fell asleep sitting up with him on the edge of the bed, so figured safe bed sharing was safer. He was difficult to wean out of it. We had to lay with him to get him to sleep until he was 6, even now he likes us there if we can be.

    Ds2 was 10 months but his sleep was horrible. (90 mins asleep, 90mins awake) 24/7. I was a zombie. At 10 months or of pure exhaustion I fell asleep with him, and he slept for 4 hours.... so from them on id pot him to bed in his cot and when he woke I'd bring him into bed, lay down, be him back to sleep and I'd drift off. As a toddler he'd walk into our room once we took the cot side off and I put a step beside the bed. Some nights I'd wake up and he'd be in with me feeding and I'm like "omg where did you come from??" He started sleeping in his own bed all night easily about 3yrs old, no dramas, no training.

    Ds3s cot is still in our room (14months) I only started bed sharing with him at about 9 months when I was solo parenting 3 kids while df worked away and was only home for 1 night a week.

    He's been sick/ teething for the last 10 days or so, so I haven't bothered with the cot (probably a bad move) but my motto is do what works and gets me the most sleep! So long as it's safe and we are happy, sleep is my next priority.

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    Kalina (23-07-2020)

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    Default Part-time co-sleeping, is there such a thing?

    Hello

    I put my DD in her own room from 6mths but her sleep was terrible and I got fed up of going in there and trying to settle her multiple times a night.. so I ended up bringing her in with me on her first wake up. We worked well like that for about 2 years and she’s now 5 and sleeps through perfectly in her own room and has done since she was 3.

    For my two cents, do what makes you both happy and works for you. Forget the chatter of what she ‘should’ be doing. They grow up so fast and I for one miss sleeping with my DD! She’s too big now and prefers her own bed so there we go. My DD got there organically and I got lots of cuddles when I could. I did always put her to sleep in her room tho but 7/10 nights I’d bring her in with us at her first wake up.

    Best of luck. Co-sleeping is very natural and if if doesn’t bother you or hubby then enjoy it. They do grow up eventually! X

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    Kalina (23-07-2020)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gf2018 View Post
    Wow - your current sleeping situation sounds amazing.
    I have an 11 month old and our sleeping situation is terrible so if I were you I'd be very happy and wouldn't change a thing.
    We have several wakings a night, always waking up upset, I've never been able to put babe into the cot awake - she becomes hysterical very quickly.
    Do you have a 'safe' co-sleeping bed?
    We have recently stopped our habit of incidental co-sleeping because our bed is off the ground and babe could climb out and fall, she has just started to crawl (a bit late).
    Poor babe is NOT enjoying the transition back to her cot full time.
    We enjoy a lot of contact napping during the day as I have a 2 year old to supervise as well.
    But yes I love sleeping next to babe - smelling her smell - staring at her super up close in the middle of the night.
    Yes, it's so nice to be close to her at night and watch her sleep. Rationally I know you're right, I shouldn't change anything now.

    Don't get me wrong, we have hard nights too, usually a few in a row when she's teething or mastering a new skill. She was sleeping in her cot next to me until 10 months, we started sleeping in separate rooms then because she started waking frequently, standing up in the cot and calling me. Neither one of us was getting much sleep, so I figured it was time for separate rooms. That did the trick almost immediately. I'm just finding it hard not having her right there at night, but I know I can't have my cake and eat it too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowangel0205 View Post
    My kids rarely sleep through. My eldest we bed shared from about 11 weeks, through necessity. He was really sick and wouldn't settle anywhere but touching me... I fell asleep sitting up with him on the edge of the bed, so figured safe bed sharing was safer. He was difficult to wean out of it. We had to lay with him to get him to sleep until he was 6, even now he likes us there if we can be.

    Ds2 was 10 months but his sleep was horrible. (90 mins asleep, 90mins awake) 24/7. I was a zombie. At 10 months or of pure exhaustion I fell asleep with him, and he slept for 4 hours.... so from them on id pot him to bed in his cot and when he woke I'd bring him into bed, lay down, be him back to sleep and I'd drift off. As a toddler he'd walk into our room once we took the cot side off and I put a step beside the bed. Some nights I'd wake up and he'd be in with me feeding and I'm like "omg where did you come from??" He started sleeping in his own bed all night easily about 3yrs old, no dramas, no training.

    Ds3s cot is still in our room (14months) I only started bed sharing with him at about 9 months when I was solo parenting 3 kids while df worked away and was only home for 1 night a week.

    He's been sick/ teething for the last 10 days or so, so I haven't bothered with the cot (probably a bad move) but my motto is do what works and gets me the most sleep! So long as it's safe and we are happy, sleep is my next priority.
    I like having them right there at night if they're sick, I like to keep an eye on them and get anxious otherwise. My older daughter who just turned 7 still sleeps with me if she isn't well.

    I like the idea of children wanting to move to their own room organically. I think I'm a co-sleeper at heart, but I really don't do well when sleep deprived so i force myself to not co-sleep.

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    SallyJoyAnderson (23-07-2020)

  12. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Hello

    I put my DD in her own room from 6mths but her sleep was terrible and I got fed up of going in there and trying to settle her multiple times a night.. so I ended up bringing her in with me on her first wake up. We worked well like that for about 2 years and she’s now 5 and sleeps through perfectly in her own room and has done since she was 3.

    For my two cents, do what makes you both happy and works for you. Forget the chatter of what she ‘should’ be doing. They grow up so fast and I for one miss sleeping with my DD! She’s too big now and prefers her own bed so there we go. My DD got there organically and I got lots of cuddles when I could. I did always put her to sleep in her room tho but 7/10 nights I’d bring her in with us at her first wake up.

    Best of luck. Co-sleeping is very natural and if if doesn’t bother you or hubby then enjoy it. They do grow up eventually! X

    They do grow up so fast, they're only little for such a short time. She's 11 months, almost one, and it has flown by. I savour every moment, but the time is flying by anyway. DH absolutely hates the idea of co-sleeping, but he sleeps in another room anyway because he wants his sleep and doesn't want to do any of the overnight care.

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    amiracle4me (23-07-2020)

  14. #9
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    I have found that children's and my needs change. I never set one thing and stick with it. I change our routine when I need or want to.

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  16. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalina View Post
    They do grow up so fast, they're only little for such a short time. She's 11 months, almost one, and it has flown by. I savour every moment, but the time is flying by anyway. DH absolutely hates the idea of co-sleeping, but he sleeps in another room anyway because he wants his sleep and doesn't want to do any of the overnight care.
    lol. Well if he’s already in his own room and it’s not impacting your marriage then you carry on Hun!

    I think that it’s helpful to have the routine where bubs goes to bed in her own room and also naps there too but the middle of the night is all about maximum sleep for all. If that’s with you then so be it. I do have a mate that fell into the habit of lying down with her DD to get her to sleep and it’s become a bit of a problem as it’s still happening at 2.5, so i think a mixture of her learning to go to sleep on her own and co sleeping is a good thing. You’ll work it out, just follow your instinct

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