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  1. #1
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    Default Need advice - baby #3

    Hi all!
    I am after some friendly advice. Hubs and I have 2 kids, DS is 6 and DD is 3. We have recently started having conversations about baby number 3 after feeling very ‘done’ ever since DD was born. For some reason something has changed. Maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe it’s the fact that our baby is growing up and that makes us sad. I’m 33, still a few baby making years left in me. But I also have a history of miscarriage. I’ve had 4 and had to go on ALL the drugs when pregnant with DD.
    HOWEVER! I’m 1.5 years into a 3 year degree that I’m heavily invested in and don’t want to sabotage. A part of me wants to have a baby NOW so the gap between kids isn’t huge and we can get started on finishing our family. The other half is telling me to wait until I’ve graduated. However this also means working for 12 months after graduating to secure a job in the workforce as I really don’t want to sabotage any chance I have of working in the industry.
    Waiting for minimum 18 months for ttc hurts my brain but is possibly something I need to accept. I’ll be 34 by then, my kids will be 8 and 5, I’ll have a degree and a job, but I’ll also have delayed my family. Also I’m not sure I will want a baby in 18 months with older kids but I feel like someone is missing from our family? Help!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDL View Post
    Hi all!
    I am after some friendly advice. Hubs and I have 2 kids, DS is 6 and DD is 3. We have recently started having conversations about baby number 3 after feeling very ‘done’ ever since DD was born. For some reason something has changed. Maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe it’s the fact that our baby is growing up and that makes us sad. I’m 33, still a few baby making years left in me. But I also have a history of miscarriage. I’ve had 4 and had to go on ALL the drugs when pregnant with DD.
    HOWEVER! I’m 1.5 years into a 3 year degree that I’m heavily invested in and don’t want to sabotage. A part of me wants to have a baby NOW so the gap between kids isn’t huge and we can get started on finishing our family. The other half is telling me to wait until I’ve graduated. However this also means working for 12 months after graduating to secure a job in the workforce as I really don’t want to sabotage any chance I have of working in the industry.
    Waiting for minimum 18 months for ttc hurts my brain but is possibly something I need to accept. I’ll be 34 by then, my kids will be 8 and 5, I’ll have a degree and a job, but I’ll also have delayed my family. Also I’m not sure I will want a baby in 18 months with older kids but I feel like someone is missing from our family? Help!
    My two are 6.5 years apart in age and I find it to be a great gap!

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    MrsDL (23-07-2020)

  4. #3
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    Nice seeing you back. I say go for it!

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    MrsDL (23-07-2020)

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    Mine are almost exactly 6 years apart, and I absolutely love the age gap now. It wasn't planned that way, I was going for a 2 year gap and panicking with each passing year, but now I really see benefits with the gap.

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    I think if you want to get “started on finishing your family”, I would start sooner rather than later.

    All the best with the rest of your study and TTC.

  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Uniquey View Post
    I think if you want to get “started on finishing your family”, I would start sooner rather than later.

    All the best with the rest of your study and TTC.
    This is my thinking and why I'm not postponing trying.

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    Mod-Uniquey (23-07-2020)

  10. #7
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    I think if you're both positive that you want another child it would be a good idea to try for baby #3 as soon as possible, especially if it will be your last. That way you will know that you have completed your family and then you can focus on the future for your family which will be your career.

    Good luck with whatever choice that you make!

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    I'm proof you can study/build your career and have babies at the same time. I finished my masters degree while DS1 was a baby, started work after I had DS2 and am now building my own business with 3 boys 5 & under. It's a juggle at times but also very rewarding ❤

  12. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fi Poledancer View Post
    I'm proof you can study/build your career and have babies at the same time. I finished my masters degree while DS1 was a baby, started work after I had DS2 and am now building my own business with 3 boys 5 & under. It's a juggle at times but also very rewarding
    Thats amazing! Well done! What kind of business are you building? I have something in mind as well but have no idea where to start

  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMummaButterfly View Post
    Thats amazing! Well done! What kind of business are you building? I have something in mind as well but have no idea where to start
    I'm a psychologist so building up my private practice!! Probably a good time to go back as it's such a stressful time for everyone the services are in demand.

    What type of business are you thinking about?? x


 

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