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  1. #1
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    Default Who do your kids toys belong to? WDYT

    Asking fellow hubbers for their insights.

    1. Who do your kids toys belong to? To them or to you?

    2. Does age change this? If so what age do you stop considering their toys as your property?

    3. Do you ever dispose of / sell their toys? If yes, do your kids get a say? And what happens to the proceeds?

    My DS (5) has been saying to me for weeks he wants a ride on tractor. I keep saying he has one at his dads on the farm (I know because I left it there when we left a couple of years ago)

    Anyway DS said he hasn’t been able to play on it for ages and really wants to do I suggested next time he’s there he ask his dad. DS wanted to call his dad and ask so I gave him the phone.

    Upshot, his dad sold his tractor to a friend saying DS hadn’t played with it for a while.

    DS inconsolable for ages tonight.

    I don’t have any issue with disposing of toys no longer played with. And perhaps I should have asked his dad about it quietly rather than with DS present (except we don’t have an amicable relationship) but I also didn’t expect this would be the outcome because it’s not how I would have dealt with it (right or wrong if there is such a thing in this situation or just a different opinion)

    I go through DS’s toys with him at home sometimes and ask what he wants to keep, what he wants to give away and if I sell something, the money goes into his money box. But it’s all done with his input.

    The tractor was a Santa present. The big expensive present that year.

    It reminded me of when I was younger and I got a violin for xmas one year. I stopped playing a few years later and I found out my dad sold it. I was a teenager at the time, maybe 16. I remember being upset that it was my present and was sold. Dad’s view was he paid for it and I wasn’t using it. I remember feeling really upset about it thinking well essentially I got no present that year. Dad’s view - I got to play it for 3 years and that was my present. Maybe I was being an entitled brat.

    I don’t know. DS will get over it. There are other presents. But hubbers, how do you deal with these situations?

  2. #2
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    We’ve sold DS motor bike and push bikes as he’s outgrown them and put the money towards other things for him but never really made a big deal out of it, all his other toys he grows out of get given away to his cousins but my SIL sells her kids toys if they don’t want them anymore and the kids get the cash and I’m not a fan of that as I noticed last birthday my niece got some kind of doll she didn’t like from a friend and she said i can sell that and buy something else , but I’d never sell or give away anything without telling him

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  4. #3
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    They are DDs toys. When it’s time for them to move on, we discuss it and she is part of the decision. We usually just donate so haven’t had to think about the money. We have had one case of donaters remorse, where I had to go out and buy the same toy again because she ended up being so distraught that it was gone. Now we pack them up and leave them a few weeks before actually donating them.

    This doesn’t extend to small plastic rubbish like you get from maccas. As soon as that is left alone I quickly bin it, then deny all knowledge.

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  6. #4
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    Default Who do your kids toys belong to? WDYT

    My girls are hoarders. If I left it up to them nothing would ever be given away/sold/chucked out.

    I often take their old toys to work for my class to use. I went into work in the last school holidays with my kids as I needed to do a few things and my youngest found heaps of her old toys and claimed them back

    For a big item like that, I think it’s only fair to ask your DS first.

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  8. #5
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    I on-sell/give away my kids toys as they outgrow them.
    We do have a conversation about them first in case they have a reason for wanting to keep them (unless its maccas crappy cheap toys - then i bin them)

    I think it was unfajr of your ex to sell the toy tractor esp if your son hadnt outgrown it yet. Perhaps you could explain how upset your son is and that he has been asking about it, you or ex may be able to keep an eye out for something similar 2nd hand to replace it

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  10. #6
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    My kids are hoarders. So is my dad. (More on that later)

    My 9yo cries if things are broken, even beyond repair. So in comes my hoarder dad (who has a shed full of parts for cars he no longer owns/ never owned 🤦‍♀️ my dad will try to fix anything.)

    We had this Cheap plastic train from a showbag. It had broken in several places, so I put it in the bin. It showed up about a week later, with glue and new parts. Of course, before long other things broke, again, I binned it... a few days later it returned with more glue. 🤦‍♀️ the third time it broke I said to my dad please don't fix it, there's more glue than toy and hid it in the bottom of the bin.

    So... I will throw any broken/cheap crappy ones without consulting them.

    I have a pile of things I want to sell but know they won't part with them, but we need to....but I can't bear to do it without their input either.
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 26-05-2020 at 23:20.

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  12. #7
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    Toys have always been the kids. I buy them and gift them to them. Granted I don't currently have any toys at home as DS is almost 13 and has packed away all his nerf guns apart from the bullets as they are for our cat. I dont have any toys for belly babe currently but they will be his once I start buying them.

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  14. #8
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    Agree with much of what’s already been said.

    DS’s toys are DS’s - granted he is only 2, and has way too many for his own good but I wouldn’t throw away/sell any without checking with him first.

    I did a clear out not long ago and it was mainly just getting rid of toys the dog has chewed/ruined that needed to be thrown out and I explained what I was doing to him and let him be part of the process most were little toys not any big items.

    As he gets older he will be involved in the decision, he has a ride on excavator and I wouldn’t dream of just getting rid of it even though he hasn’t used for a while and goes through phases of loving it.

    Can’t comment on money as we haven’t sold any of his toys at this stage.

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    They are his, but we have a rule once the toy box is full he has to dispose of an old one to get something new.
    So we make a monthly trip to the local op shop to donate his old ones. He makes the choices of what he wants to part with.

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  18. #10
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    My DS is very, very attached to his vast collection of toys. They are definitely considered to be his, not ours.

    I haven’t done a cull for a while because DS insists we keep all of them to give to his kids when he grows up. He even got upset the other day when I suggested we put some away in storage boxes in the garage

    In the past I have donated stuff and on a couple of occasions sold things, but that was when he was younger and a bit more oblivious. I would never sell or give away anything he truly loved.

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