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  1. #1
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    Default Living with intention... maybe?

    Hi all. I haven't been on here for so long!

    I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say so I'll try to jump right into it.

    What do you do in the evenings (or other times) to fill your time? Our kids are asleep by 7 but our toddler still wakes often.. like multiple times in the first few hours.

    The TV sends me to sleep, I'm not really interested in watching TV/movies. I sometimes color in. I often turn to alcohol but I'm trying to avoid that and be more mindful rather than mindless which tends to be the effect alcohol has. I will end up having afew drinks then go to bed unfulfilled and wake up feeling annoyed... but I don't wven know what I'm looking for? Just feel like it's time for me to change this. Kids wake early every day (regardless of bed time they're up between 5 & 6 every day) and I often feel cranky at having to get up. If I get up and do a yoga video or similar I do feel better. Also feeling like I want to be more sexual with hubby but with toddler waking so often and 4 kids around all the time I struggle to relax and get into the mood which makes it worse because I want it but get stuck in my head. If that even makes sense. I work 3 days a week which I really enjoy.

    I guess I'm trying to be more mindful and figure out how to fill my time at home when I don't really have any hobbies and am trying to avoid alcohol.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by blissfulfairy View Post
    Hi all. I haven't been on here for so long!

    I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say so I'll try to jump right into it.

    What do you do in the evenings (or other times) to fill your time? Our kids are asleep by 7 but our toddler still wakes often.. like multiple times in the first few hours.

    The TV sends me to sleep, I'm not really interested in watching TV/movies. I sometimes color in. I often turn to alcohol but I'm trying to avoid that and be more mindful rather than mindless which tends to be the effect alcohol has. I will end up having afew drinks then go to bed unfulfilled and wake up feeling annoyed... but I don't wven know what I'm looking for? Just feel like it's time for me to change this. Kids wake early every day (regardless of bed time they're up between 5 & 6 every day) and I often feel cranky at having to get up. If I get up and do a yoga video or similar I do feel better. Also feeling like I want to be more sexual with hubby but with toddler waking so often and 4 kids around all the time I struggle to relax and get into the mood which makes it worse because I want it but get stuck in my head. If that even makes sense. I work 3 days a week which I really enjoy.

    I guess I'm trying to be more mindful and figure out how to fill my time at home when I don't really have any hobbies and am trying to avoid alcohol.
    It’s so easy to lose ourselves amongst the chaos of parenting. I to can turn to alcohol when feeling that way. The best things I did was turn to health and exercise. I now love my fit and healthy lifestyle. It boosted my self confidence, libido, mind set and gave me something just for myself. I chose a workout program to follow and went from there. I used to work out in the evenings after dinner as it was the only time I had free. I also love meditation even if it’s a 5-10 minute guided one from you tube it can really help clear any negativity or frustration away.

    I guess you just have to give a few things a go to work out what it is that gives you joy. Are you creative? What about sewing/knitting etc?

  3. #3
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    great thread!!! i am doing a lot of self work in this area. by no means am i an expert, but something i’ve found that really resonates is that to live with intention, we need to figure out what our values are.

    once you know what your values are, you can then choose hobbies, activities, people, etc to add into our lives that are congruent with those values. parts of lives that aren’t aligned with our values can be minimized or deleted.

    i’d suggest doing an activity (and this might need to be done over a period of time, it’s hard to do this kind of deep personal work in one sitting, esp when you have kids moaning at you for a snack, bum needs wiping etc) where you sit down and figure out what your values are, what aspects of your daily life align with your values and which don’t. over time and with consistent work, you’ll start to see it will become apparent what your values are.

    from there, you can more clearly start seeing what aspects of your life don’t add value and which activities you might like to take up which do support your value system.

    there’s a plethora of resources online, google living intentionally and start from there. i actually found this on my travels and it really resonated and was useful so sharing here for others

    https://www.breakthetwitch.com/inten...living-values/

    there’s a youtube video which explains how the exercise works. give it a watch, it’s only a short one.

    good luck!

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  5. #4
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    This is a great thread as I am very much the same. I don’t have any hobbies and I find that I waste my time doing pointless things. My evenings consist of TV in the background whilst I play silly games on my iPad and surf Facebook. I don’t drink, but I do tend to over indulge in snacks of an evening whilst being mindless.

    I’ve always wanted a hobby or a craft, but I am the furthest thing from creative. I tried knitting, but ended up hurting my wrists and my physio advised against knitting/crotchet type things. I am totally tone deaf so musical things are out. I can’t paint or draw or colour to save my life - my artistic talent is so lacking that I failed abstract art at school.

    I love cooking, but I hate cleaning up the mess that follows. And I find it gets SO expensive to buy ingredients.

    I love reading and I’m trying to do more, but I’m picky with my books. And if it doesn’t hook me straight away I find that I have to keep reading it, because I can’t leave it unfinished, but I have to force myself to read it which puts me off.

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    I second health and fitness. I joined a basketball team last year as I felt like if I was in a team I’d show up. It worked and I love my team mates and we have such a laugh. I also did an 80’s dance class mid week with a colleague from work. So much fun.

    Maybe also pick a super short and fun course to do. Floristry, baking or Spanish?

  7. #6
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    Great thread.

    I started doing 30 day yoga challenges from you tube and some exercises, but with us getting worms last week I have been flat out cleaning and stopped that for now. I found it really helped me relax and I got stronger.
    I enjoy baking and reading but with 5 kids it’s hard to find time.
    I stopped drinking coffee a month ago and I really enjoy having a cup of green tea at midday while my 16m old has a nap on me. I look at our photo albums or think about holidays. I do a lot of thinking. A lot of reflection, and a lot of planning.. I need my thinking time, just to zone out and talk to myself in my head 🤣
    Recently, I have started taking our fur boy with us when I take kids to park or beach. It used to be so much effort for me to try keep an eye on 5 kids and a dog , but it’s so much more relaxed with him as he helps keep kids together. And we all enjoy our outing more.
    In the evening I end up on phone googling what ever is on my mind (eg. what age does childhood end?) or watching TV. I would like more action too but I am always scared kids will walk in on us and can’t truly relax.. so it’s usually rushed on my part.
    Thing I would like to try is adult ballet classes, couples dancing classes, gardening (I recently got 20 indoor plants and they give me so much joy, I am a bit overboard when I get an idea) , taking up one of the languages I was learning when I was younger..


 

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