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  1. #1
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    Default Help! Toilet training a 3yr old plus

    My almost 4 year old refuses to sit on the potty and use it. He wakes up does his business in his nappy wears undies all day refusing the release on the potty until he puts a nappy on. He says he is scared but I can’t get out of him what it is. He has used the potty 3 or 4 times before when he was desperate. I think it might be a sensory issue??I tried filling the potty up with tissues or a nappy so he doesn’t feel like he’a letting go into air, I’ve tried getting him to stand he won’t do it I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what to do he won’t use the toilet. He doesn’t like me talking about the potty or if someone else has gone to the potty like his friend. I’ve been trying for months. We had a baby in September last year but I didn’t start consistently training until after this because he was going to daycare. When we was at day care( he hasn’t been because of covid) he won’t go either doesn’t care if other people are going! I just have run out of ideas he’s very stubborn and cries. We have recently slowly started to get him to sit on it again by saying sit on with pants then undies and we are stuck on undies. Is there a potty training school! Help. Now even if he’s desperate he won’t go he will wait for a nappy! I’ve spoken to doctor there is nothing I can do! The tantrums are horrible and I hate seeing him being this upset over it!

  2. #2
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    Default Help! Toilet training a 3yr old plus

    Quote Originally Posted by J47 View Post
    My almost 4 year old refuses to sit on the potty and use it. He wakes up does his business in his nappy wears undies all day refusing the release on the potty until he puts a nappy on. He says he is scared but I can’t get out of him what it is. He has used the potty 3 or 4 times before when he was desperate. I think it might be a sensory issue??I tried filling the potty up with tissues or a nappy so he doesn’t feel like he’a letting go into air, I’ve tried getting him to stand he won’t do it I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what to do he won’t use the toilet. He doesn’t like me talking about the potty or if someone else has gone to the potty like his friend. I’ve been trying for months. We had a baby in September last year but I didn’t start consistently training until after this because he was going to daycare. When we was at day care( he hasn’t been because of covid) he won’t go either doesn’t care if other people are going! I just have run out of ideas he’s very stubborn and cries. We have recently slowly started to get him to sit on it again by saying sit on with pants then undies and we are stuck on undies. Is there a potty training school! Help. Now even if he’s desperate he won’t go he will wait for a nappy! I’ve spoken to doctor there is nothing I can do! The tantrums are horrible and I hate seeing him being this upset over it!
    Can you leave him pants off for the whole day? Until he poops I mean ? This helped with my toddler. First he was scared etc but gradually got braver. We still have issues but we’re getting there lol. He’s just over 2 x

  3. #3
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    My DD was exactly the same. She would beg and cry for a nappy when she needed to poo or hold on until bedtime.

    In the end I made a deal with her that she had to sit on the toilet until the timer on the ipad went off and if her poo hadnt come out then she could have a nappy on. Because the timer had the circle counting down she could see the visual of the count down. At first I set the timer for 1 minute and then put a nappy on because she hadnt pooed, then I moved the timer to 1.30 and put a nappy on because she hadnt pooed. It took 4 minutes on the timer until she couldnt hold it in and she did a poo in the toilet. She asked for a nappy the first few times after that and I'd say "well lets set the timer first and if you havent done a poo at the end I'll put a nappy on" and I'd set the timer for 15 minutes. She did a poo in that time every time. After about a week she no longer asked for a nappy or for the timer.

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    MLadyEm (21-05-2020)

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    My son won’t not wear pants. He’s very stubborn and I think I waited too late to train him because now he only wants to do what he wants. Thank you for the advice! At this point any ideas are welcome!

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    Yes I like the timer idea, the problem is now that he cries when I went him to sit on there with no undies I think because he knows he might go because he has held it for so long. It’s struggle to get him on there. At the end of last year I had no problem with him sitting on their even if he didn’t do anything because he was holding now it’s a struggle to get him
    On there.

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    I tried the timer thing with no undies and it seemed to work I did it for 5 minutes. Now tomorrow I’ll
    Do longer and maybe try twice

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    GirlsRock (22-05-2020)

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    I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I went down the bribery route with my 3.5yo old who would not poo on the toilet for anything. She is extremely stubborn (still is at almost 8).

    I got a week's worth of small toys for each time she went then a larger toy for once she'd done it for a full week. I put them up high on a shelf near the toilet where she could see them.

    Like I said I know lots of people wouldn't do it but it worked perfectly for us and was drama free!

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    shellzand (22-05-2020)

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    Default Help! Toilet training a 3yr old plus

    I think the fact you’ve been trying for months and he’s crying means it’s becoming a stressful association for him ( and you! ).

    My advice is to just stop. Stop it all and take the pressure off all of you. Give it a couple of weeks and then say in two weeks time that you’ll be stopping nappies in the day in a week. Remind him once every day and then after a week let him wear only undies during the day. Buy some nice PJ mask pants or something together and let him enjoy picking them out. He’ll have a decent amount of accidents in the first week but if you say calmly that every time he poos in his new undies they go in the bin then he’ll start to not want to do it. Just be OK with wet pants and undies/shoes for a week. Take the pressure off it and expect lots of accidents so you don’t get annoyed. Always leave a potty at home on the floor somewhere he can easily go on his own and I bet after 3 or 4 days of pooing in his undies and seeing them thrown away he’ll be OK with wandering over and sitting on the potty. The stress is coming through loudly tho and that all needs to go away before this will work. I also gave my daughter a smartie when she used the potty but it was a reward when she did it, not a bribe to make her do it. There’s a distinct difference. Best of luck ( from a mother of a 5yr old )

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    Thank you! Bribery no longer works for him. He says he doesn’t want a toy he doesn’t care I think we made a break through yesterday so fingers crossed x

  13. #10
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    He already wears undies and we have been through the wetting and pooing. We are past all that he knows not to do it in his pants he doesn’t like the feeling he used to sit on the potty all the time without releasing. He’s like a machine he could go for like an hour sitting on there without doing anything and then finally I would say to get up.

    His problem is I think? Just letting go on the potty I think it might be releasing in the air feels weird.

    Yesterday we got on there without undies on and with no crying! We used a timer and I will try again today.

    Thank you for your advice xx

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    amiracle4me (22-05-2020)


 

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