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  1. #561
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
    Sorry if this brings up emotions for you and obviously no pressure! When you went through this which path did you go down or did it happen naturally for you? I haven’t started bleeding yet and worried if on Monday they turn around and tell me to make a decision on what route to take. I have no idea what to expect
    I had a MC at the start of January (at 12 weeks) and I opted for a D&C for the same reasons as have already been said. I wanted the end of the experience and because I was 3 months I was told it could be very uncomfortable/painful and confronting for me to do it at home but I could if I wanted to! It helped me move on because I knew that I was in good hands and when I woke up I could start grieving properly and then plan for future transfers! We then had ours tested because we had a high risk result from harmony test (trisomy 21) and it came back as positive (and that it was a girl which I found the most heartbreaking, I have a little boy from ivf already). It’s totally what you feel comfortable with and what works best for you though ❤️

  2. #562
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mad89 View Post
    I had a MC at the start of January (at 12 weeks) and I opted for a D&C for the same reasons as have already been said. I wanted the end of the experience and because I was 3 months I was told it could be very uncomfortable/painful and confronting for me to do it at home but I could if I wanted to! It helped me move on because I knew that I was in good hands and when I woke up I could start grieving properly and then plan for future transfers! We then had ours tested because we had a high risk result from harmony test (trisomy 21) and it came back as positive (and that it was a girl which I found the most heartbreaking, I have a little boy from ivf already). It’s totally what you feel comfortable with and what works best for you though ❤️
    Thanks lovely you don’t realize how common it is until it happens to you. I was so ignorant to everything prior to starting ivf. So sorry you had to go through that! I can just imagine the pain ❤️

  3. #563
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    Default IVF - March/April 2020

    Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
    Sorry if this brings up emotions for you and obviously no pressure! When you went through this which path did you go down or did it happen naturally for you? I haven’t started bleeding yet and worried if on Monday they turn around and tell me to make a decision on what route to take. I have no idea what to expect
    Ok, long post discussing my miscarriage (just a warning if you'd rather scroll past).

    Alex, I'm so very sorry for your loss, and that you're going through this. Just wanted to share my experience if it helps with your decision - no heartbeat at our 7 week scan, baby (girl) measuring ~6w4d. Went back a week later for a follow-up just in case, but no change.

    My FS shared that he and his wife had 2 MCs, and both times she opted for a D&C as the right choice for her/them. However, my lining is thin-ish (best I've ever gotten is 7mm), so FS suggested we might want to consider medical management (misoprostol) to avoid even the low risk that a D&C could damage my endometrium (he didn't mention Asherman's syndrome, but that's one rare outcome). He left the choice up to us, of course. We briefly discussed waiting for a natural passing as the third option, but I didn't want that - I needed a semblance of control.

    We chose misoprostol (taken early December 2018). I still think that was the right choice for us, but (short version) I ended up having a D&C for a small amount of retained tissue 8 weeks later (late January) - no infection, it just wouldn't pass and I still had HCG in my system. All up it took 77 days from miscarriage to my body clearing all the HCG. That was a crappy summer. The waiting was terrible, on top of the grief. The main positive of our chosen course was that my D&C presented even less risk when it happened because it was just a bit of tissue, and during the procedure my FS saw some things about my (known) slight septum that led to us deciding to surgically remove it a few months later. I would make that choice again, for our circumstances (i.e. my lining issue).

    In my case it was two doses spaced some hours apart, both taken vaginally. Misoprostol causes your uterus to contract to shed the lining (and therefore the pregnancy).

    If you (or anyone reading this) decide to take misoprostol: know that you can handle it. It's not as bad as you might think, at least at 6-7 weeks. Yes, it's painful - my boss actually warned me (which is when I found out she'd miscarried), and so I knew to ask for good pain relief (endone, I think?). I didn't end up taking it, as I was able to manage the pain with panadol/ibuprofen/grit (for me it was like very intense, very sharp period pain). But knowing I had it there, particularly when the worst of it was happening at 3am, was enough to get me through.

    Now, about that 3am thing - if you use medical management, please, please take your first dose when you wake up in the morning, not mid-afternoon like me. I stupidly planned my miscarriage around work (I delivered training that day, can you believe it?), so I went through the most painful parts alone in the middle of the night while my husband mostly slept (at my encouragement - I didn't want him in the bathroom with me). Not. Good.

    You can't know for sure how long it will take to pass, but if you start in the morning you can curl up in a sunny room with Netflix, someone can give you chocolate/cuddles, and hopefully you give yourself enough time before going to bed that night. I've found my pain threshold is worse late at night / when I'm tired, so I'm sure that made my experience worse than it needed to be, too.

    After you've passed the sac etc., there's just a bit of bleeding (I can't quite remember how long for - a week, maybe?). You can't use tampons, have sex, or swim for a couple of weeks (at least until the bleeding stops) - this is the same for a D&C / any hysteroscopy, as your cervix has been dilated, so there's an increased risk of infection.

    Warning - slightly graphic: They don't usually test the embryo ('products of conception') from first miscarriages unless there's a D&C, but my Dr gave us the option, so I kept the sac (passed intact, thank goodness) in a specimen container and took it in to the clinic the next day.

    The test results came back normal, and we found out the gender (didn't ask, but probably would have if we hadn't been told). It was definitely harder not knowing why we didn't keep her (or really, knowing it's probably something wrong with me...). But at the same time, knowledge really is power.

    I completely understand why women choose immediate D&C - if you have a normal lining and your Dr is comfortable with it, I personally think it's probably the least traumatic option. But it is a surgery, and if you'd rather try medical management or natural passing first, you can handle it

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  5. #564
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    Quote Originally Posted by a million dreams View Post
    Ok, long post discussing my miscarriage (just a warning if you'd rather scroll past).

    Alex, I'm so very sorry for your loss, and that you're going through this. Just wanted to share my experience if it helps with your decision - no heartbeat at our 7 week scan, baby (girl) measuring ~6w4d. Went back a week later for a follow-up just in case, but no change.

    My FS shared that he and his wife had 2 MCs, and both times she opted for a D&C as the right choice for her/them. However, my lining is thin-ish (best I've ever gotten is 7mm), so FS suggested we might want to consider medical management (misoprostol) to avoid even the low risk that a D&C could damage my endometrium (he didn't mention Asherman's syndrome, but that's one rare outcome). He left the choice up to us, of course. We briefly discussed waiting for a natural passing as the third option, but I didn't want that - I needed a semblance of control.

    We chose misoprostol (taken early December 2018). I still think that was the right choice for us, but (short version) I ended up having a D&C for a small amount of retained tissue 8 weeks later (late January) - no infection, it just wouldn't pass and I still had HCG in my system. All up it took 77 days from miscarriage to my body clearing all the HCG. That was a crappy summer. The waiting was terrible, on top of the grief. The main positive of our chosen course was that my D&C presented even less risk when it happened because it was just a bit of tissue, and during the procedure my FS saw some things about my (known) slight septum that led to us deciding to surgically remove it a few months later. I would make that choice again, for our circumstances (i.e. my lining issue).

    In my case it was two doses spaced some hours apart, both taken vaginally. Misoprostol causes your uterus to contract to shed the lining (and therefore the pregnancy).

    If you (or anyone reading this) decide to take misoprostol: know that you can handle it. It's not as bad as you might think, at least at 6-7 weeks. Yes, it's painful - my boss actually warned me (which is when I found out she'd miscarried), and so I knew to ask for good pain relief (endone, I think?). I didn't end up taking it, as I was able to manage the pain with panadol/ibuprofen/grit (for me it was like very intense, very sharp period pain). But knowing I had it there, particularly when the worst of it was happening at 3am, was enough to get me through.

    Now, about that 3am thing - if you use medical management, please, please take your first dose when you wake up in the morning, not mid-afternoon like me. I stupidly planned my miscarriage around work (I delivered training that day, can you believe it?), so I went through the most painful parts alone in the middle of the night while my husband mostly slept (at my encouragement - I didn't want him in the bathroom with me). Not. Good.

    You can't know for sure how long it will take to pass, but if you start in the morning you can curl up in a sunny room with Netflix, someone can give you chocolate/cuddles, and hopefully you give yourself enough time before going to bed that night. I've found my pain threshold is worse late at night / when I'm tired, so I'm sure that made my experience worse than it needed to be, too.

    After you've passed the sac etc., there's just a bit of bleeding (I can't quite remember how long for - a week, maybe?). You can't use tampons, have sex, or swim for a couple of weeks (at least until the bleeding stops) - this is the same for a D&C / any hysteroscopy, as your cervix has been dilated, so there's an increased risk of infection.

    Warning - slightly graphic: They don't usually test the embryo ('products of conception') from first miscarriages unless there's a D&C, but my Dr gave us the option, so I kept the sac (passed intact, thank goodness) in a specimen container and took it in to the clinic the next day.

    The test results came back normal, and we found out the gender (didn't ask, but probably would have if we hadn't been told). It was definitely harder not knowing why we didn't keep her (or really, knowing it's probably something wrong with me...). But at the same time, knowledge really is power.

    I completely understand why women choose immediate D&C - if you have a normal lining and your Dr is comfortable with it, I personally think it's probably the least traumatic option. But it is a surgery, and if you'd rather try medical management or natural passing first, you can handle it
    Really appreciate you taking the time to send that I can imagine the emotions that would’ve come up writing that. All of your stories are so unique and different it is so hard to know what is the right path to go down. Just went for my bloods this morning and hope I get a bit more information as to where it is currently at. Doctor is expecting it to be the same/lower than last week. It is scary not knowing where I’m at in this process. I just want it to pass so that I can start again but it is never that easy. My scan last week showed nothing I was 6+4 when I had it and the sonographer said I would be 5 weeks based on what she saw. I’m so confused does that mean it is still growing and I could just miscarriage whenever or I don’t even know this whole process is so confusing. Could it still be growing and it can happen at any time? I’ve had no bleeding yet.

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  7. #565
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
    Really appreciate you taking the time to send that I can imagine the emotions that would’ve come up writing that. All of your stories are so unique and different it is so hard to know what is the right path to go down. Just went for my bloods this morning and hope I get a bit more information as to where it is currently at. Doctor is expecting it to be the same/lower than last week. It is scary not knowing where I’m at in this process. I just want it to pass so that I can start again but it is never that easy. My scan last week showed nothing I was 6+4 when I had it and the sonographer said I would be 5 weeks based on what she saw. I’m so confused does that mean it is still growing and I could just miscarriage whenever or I don’t even know this whole process is so confusing. Could it still be growing and it can happen at any time? I’ve had no bleeding yet.
    I don't have any medical training, but from what I understand, it can sometimes take quite a few weeks for your body to realise that the embryo has stopped growing - e.g. some women have their first scan at 12 weeks and discover their embryo stopped ~ 7 weeks. If you're going to miscarry, I think it's very unlikely that anything is still growing.

    Personally, I'd be asking for one more scan before agreeing to taking any action - bloods can only tell so much, but a scan will show if there's been any change since your last one.

    I completely understand about wanting it to pass so you can start again - talk to your Dr, but a D&C or medication would probably get you there faster.

  8. #566
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    Quote Originally Posted by a million dreams View Post
    I don't have any medical training, but from what I understand, it can sometimes take quite a few weeks for your body to realise that the embryo has stopped growing - e.g. some women have their first scan at 12 weeks and discover their embryo stopped ~ 7 weeks. If you're going to miscarry, I think it's very unlikely that anything is still growing.

    Personally, I'd be asking for one more scan before agreeing to taking any action - bloods can only tell so much, but a scan will show if there's been any change since your last one.

    I completely understand about wanting it to pass so you can start again - talk to your Dr, but a D&C or medication would probably get you there faster.
    Thank you ☺️ I have another scan and bloods first thing Thursday. Today results ended up being the below my hcg went up but progesterone dropping.
    Tuesday last week 2727 - prog 421
    Today 3918 - prog 240

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  10. #567
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
    Thank you I have another scan and bloods first thing Thursday. Today results ended up being the below my hcg went up but progesterone dropping.
    Tuesday last week 2727 - prog 421
    Today 3918 - prog 240
    Thinking of you today Alex ❤️

  11. #568
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    Quote Originally Posted by a million dreams View Post
    Thinking of you today Alex ❤️
    Thanks lovely, ended up having a d&c today just got home. ❤️ Happy to know the waiting is over now.

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  13. #569
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex View Post
    Thanks lovely, ended up having a d&c today just got home. ❤️ Happy to know the waiting is over now.
    Sending you love and healing Alex ❤️❤️

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