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  1. #1
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    Default Leaving one child at home

    Without going into great detail as to why but I am taking one of my kids to the USA for 10 days in November and my Husband is staying home with the other.

    I am taking our 4yo and our "baby" will be just 2 when we leave.

    I am already having a hard time thinking about what it will be like to leave the baby at home.
    I work full-time so it isn't like I'm not used to leaving her but we've never spent a night apart and even my 4yo only spent two nights away from me and that was when I was in hospital having her sister.
    I rationally know that she will be fine, of course my Husband knows how to take care of her, he is great with both kids. But I'm already so nervous about it.

    Anyone gone on vacation and left one child behind? How did you go?
    I know we can video chat every night but I'm still worried LOL

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    Without knowing the circumstances, it’s hard to say. Personally I would not go on a holiday overseas and leave one or two out of my three children behind. A weekend for a special event? Yes. But overseas? no!

    My husband is Irish and all his family live over there except for one brother who lives here. We all go on holiday together there. I would not consider leaving any of my children behind. My husband would probably go on his own for a funeral or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Without knowing the circumstances, it’s hard to say. Personally I would not go on a holiday overseas and leave one or two out of my three children behind. A weekend for a special event? Yes. But overseas? no!

    My husband is Irish and all his family live over there except for one brother who lives here. We all go on holiday together there. I would not consider leaving any of my children behind. My husband would probably go on his own for a funeral or something.
    She’s clearly already feeling a bit guilty and anxious about the circumstances .. why not show some support instead of trying to make her feel worse by subtly describing how you would approach the situation. She was obviously needing some reassurance and validation .. way to cut her down. Seriously so over women attacking one another passively.

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  5. #4
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    Thanks everyone for the replies. It is a hard decision to make. My Husband can't understand why I'm so worried. I told him it's just different for Mothers.

    My eldest is so excited, and I know she will benefit greatly from the special one-on-one time we will have. And likewise I think for my baby. She will have just turned 2 when we leave, in a way I wish she was younger because at 2 she will really know that I'm gone. But I think with video chat we will all be ok. It's only 10 days.

    And just a shout out to shellzand, thanks for the support. I knew there would be some comments asking how on earth I could leave a child, that was inevitable. It did bum me out but I got more support than scolding so I'm all good

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    I am planning on taking few holidays with one or two of my kids while leaving others with dad , grandparents will help too. We have 5 kids, ages 8 to 1. My dream is to go to New York,and I m hoping to take our eldest with me,in June or sept 2021, our youngest will be 2.5. Also, in November this year I m planning to take two eldest to Gold Coast for a few days to do sea world etc. we have done plenty of holidays as a whole family, overseas included, but in my opinion taking all kids to New York wouldn’t be safe or enjoyable.. I m sure younger kids will be fine and I have already started planning one on one holidays with my other kids. For eg, dd1 wants to go to Thailand with me. Her friend from school went and loved it . Every two years , I am planning to take just one of my kids on a holiday with me. Family holidays are important, but kids love one on one holidays too!! Good luck!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by wendlle View Post
    Thanks everyone for the replies. It is a hard decision to make. My Husband can't understand why I'm so worried. I told him it's just different for Mothers.

    My eldest is so excited, and I know she will benefit greatly from the special one-on-one time we will have. And likewise I think for my baby. She will have just turned 2 when we leave, in a way I wish she was younger because at 2 she will really know that I'm gone. But I think with video chat we will all be ok. It's only 10 days.

    And just a shout out to shellzand, thanks for the support. I knew there would be some comments asking how on earth I could leave a child, that was inevitable. It did bum me out but I got more support than scolding so I'm all good
    All good love! I hope you have a great time and enjoy yourself! Clearly you deserve it Xo

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    Props to you! I don't think I could do it. I'm sure both will be fine! Your youngest will have a blast with dad, and you'll be able to do more age appropriate things with your eldest. It would be much more stressful with the youngest there too.

    I get it though. am having anxiety over the fact we booked time away which had clashed with my eldest child's first school camp 🤦‍♀️ so he's staying behind and coming up later with my mum, after his camp.
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 05-03-2020 at 20:55.

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  12. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by wendlle View Post
    Without going into great detail as to why but I am taking one of my kids to the USA for 10 days in November and my Husband is staying home with the other.

    I am taking our 4yo and our "baby" will be just 2 when we leave.

    I am already having a hard time thinking about what it will be like to leave the baby at home.
    I work full-time so it isn't like I'm not used to leaving her but we've never spent a night apart and even my 4yo only spent two nights away from me and that was when I was in hospital having her sister.
    I rationally know that she will be fine, of course my Husband knows how to take care of her, he is great with both kids. But I'm already so nervous about it.

    Anyone gone on vacation and left one child behind? How did you go?
    I know we can video chat every night but I'm still worried LOL
    Hey hun, your leaving baby with your husband. You’ll be fine. Of course you will miss baby, but you aren’t leaving her with a stranger! She will be with daddy!

    My friend recently went to a wedding overseas leaving 6 month old with dad. She was feeling much the same as you but it ended up being really positive for both daddy and daughter. He managed to break some of her bad habits ( sleeping on mummy) and managed to get her in a bedtime routine. They also formed a closer bond, so it ended up being really positive!

    Mum guilt is inevitable but you have to look at the positives .. try and enjoy yourself! Xx

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    wendlle (06-03-2020)

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    My eldest has gone on heaps of trips with my folks without me and I haven’t been concerned at all. He is suppose to go to cairns in the July school holidays without me again. He wasn’t quite 3 when he started going away without me.

    Have fun and enjoy the one on one time

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    Hello. I just wanted to say that you go ahead girl! I’m not privy to your reasons but I’m an expat and it’s costs us $20K minimum for 3 of us to go back to the U.K. for 2 weeks. I’m expecting number 2 and it’s just going to be financially impossible to go back as a family of 4 so often. For this reason a good friend of mine went back to the U.K. for 2 weeks with just her older son and left the younger one at home. He was totally fine. It’s allows bonding time for all parties and also allows a trip to happen that may not otherwise.

    I also have a British mate at work that just went home for one week to see her friends and family without her 2 kids and husband. It gave her the time and space to just have some quality time that didn’t revolve around naps and childcare. We have to teach our kids about self care and that being a parent doesn’t define us 100%.. enjoy your trip!!

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