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  1. #1
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    Default Suddenly Single

    My story is a long one so I will make it short.
    Husband suffers from Mental Health Issues, his twin is diagnosed schitzophrenic and I imagine my Husband has tendancies as well.

    I can't handle the delusions of me having affairs anymore and being called a ****, ***** and c*** on a weekly basis (he thinks because it isn't every day it is OK)
    I stopped wanting to be intimate, even wanting to be cuddled by him because of the names I get called.

    We had trouble having our first child, two rounds of failed IVF and eventually we had our DD1 naturally.
    Two years later we began trying for another baby and got pregnant right away - he immediatly questioned being the father and our DD2 is now 14 months old and I am constantly asked if she is his. He is always bringing up the fact that she has blonde hair as we both have brown hair.

    I live the most boring life, I have no friends and just work all day and come home and take care of my family. Never do anything on weekends etc, while he goes to Cricket and has many friends.

    We were evacuated due to bushfires and it all came to a head, he was horrible while we were away and our 4 year old is noticing him calling me names - I can't do it anymore.

    I told him that I don't want to be in a romantic relationship anymore and he lost it. Packed his stuff and left - he has been "living" in his car for a month now.
    He has gone back to gambling and sending horrible text messages and can't understand why I want him gone.

    I just want him to get some psychiatric help and find somewhere to live. I've told him to go to Vinnies or someone who can help him but so far - NOTHING!


    I know I'm doing the right thing as my kids are first and he is really starting to lose it.
    I guess I mainly came here to get my story off my chest as I can't really talk to anyone about it.

  2. #2
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    I feel for you, and for what it's worth I think you've absolutely done the right thing standing up for yourself. Reading this though I have to ask - do you feel you and your children are safe? He sounds increasingly desperate.

  3. #3
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    Also questioning safety for you and your children. If he is mentally unstable and has previously abusive I would be putting measures in place to ensure your safety. Change locks ect until he gets the help he needs.

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. Can’t be easy but you’ve 1000% made the right call.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Mashie For This Useful Post:

    Mod-Wise Enough (12-02-2020)

  5. #4
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    We are safe, he really only hurts himself. He is more abusive with words than actions.

    We were texting last night and he still doesn't get it.
    Says he doesn't want to go see anyone because they might medicate him and it will "change" him.
    well, I just said keep going the way you are then because it's really working out for him isn't it.

    I just can't understand people who don't get help when they know they need it.
    No way is he coming home, and I tell you this, the longer he is away the more I feel like I can do this without him. I feel like my old self again. You don't realise how someones words can really affect you.

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    Mashie (12-02-2020),Myztik (02-04-2020)

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by wendlle View Post
    We are safe, he really only hurts himself. He is more abusive with words than actions..
    Be careful. Words leave invisible scars that can linger and fester for years. It doesn't make him any less abusive.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    littleone11 (12-02-2020),Mashie (12-02-2020),Myztik (02-04-2020)

  9. #6
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    so sorry to hear...Could he have bipolar? (impulse gambling). Is he having affairs?

    I've been where you are at, but slightly different.

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cherryblossomgirl View Post
    so sorry to hear...Could he have bipolar? (impulse gambling). Is he having affairs?

    I've been where you are at, but slightly different.
    I believe he has something, but he refuses to go to a Doctor. His twin has schizophrenia so there is absolutely something there.
    Wild mood swings, paranoia etc
    Most of the time he is fine, but then when he isn't - I just can't take it anymore.

    It has now been 2 months and he is still living in his car. Not looking good.

  11. #8
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    I'm by no means trying to side with your ex here, I saw you said vinnes is a place to go, but I don't think that's where to start, if he gets to a point where he WANTS to get better go to the ER with him, he probably won't get put in hospital but it will start a more healthy path.

    I was in denial about some of my own things my family confronted me and threatened to take my son from me which woke me up big time, I was admitted but just know that doesn't always and usually doesn't happen.


 

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