+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,040
    Thanks
    282
    Thanked
    571
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    It happened at school, and the principal seems to be on top if it, so I'm not sure if I would reach out. That doesn't mean I wouldn't talk to my own child about what they said and how hurtful it is.

    In your shoes, I would be happy with the level of action that has been taken. At that age, kids will say anything they can to get their feelings across without any thought.
    Thanks, but we’re not happy with the lack of apology. Yes, the child has had consequences at school - being removed from the playground, but we would like an apology to our family. Our little girl isn’t here to defend herself, so we are her advocates and believe she and our son (and we as their parents) deserve an apology from the child at least.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    4,510
    Thanks
    4,323
    Thanked
    3,888
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by siansmum View Post
    Thanks, but we’re not happy with the lack of apology. Yes, the child has had consequences at school - being removed from the playground, but we would like an apology to our family. Our little girl isn’t here to defend herself, so we are her advocates and believe she and our son (and we as their parents) deserve an apology from the child at least.
    In that case I think you should let the school know you would like an apology from the other family and ask they pass the message on.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    siansmum (10-02-2020)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    7,599
    Thanks
    6,893
    Thanked
    6,095
    Reviews
    21
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by siansmum View Post
    Thanks, but we’re not happy with the lack of apology. Yes, the child has had consequences at school - being removed from the playground, but we would like an apology to our family. Our little girl isn’t here to defend herself, so we are her advocates and believe she and our son (and we as their parents) deserve an apology from the child at least.
    I mean this with all respect, but I think you're expecting a bit much from a child. He was being a turd to your son, so sure, he should apologise to him. But do you really think he said it to hurt you as well? It was a one off comment, made by a child who was upset about something and was finding a way to express that. If it wasn't that comment, he would have found something else to pick about. I'm not condoning his behaviour, but you have to consider what is in line with development at that age.

    Are you angry because he said something nasty to your son, or because it was about your daughter? I'd tread very carefully with how you approach this because, while I can't begin to imagine your grief, you don't want to let your son's feelings be overshadowed.

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to atomicmama For This Useful Post:

    Hasselhoff (10-02-2020),JR03 (10-02-2020),Lincolns mummy (10-02-2020),Mum-I-Am (11-02-2020)

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    7,599
    Thanks
    6,893
    Thanked
    6,095
    Reviews
    21
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    In that case I think you should let the school know you would like an apology from the other family and ask they pass the message on.
    How would you feel on the receiving end of that though?

    He said one thing. The school has reprimanded him, the parents may have reprimanded him as well and talked to him about it, and then OP demands an apology from him too? How many consequences are appropriate for an 8/9 year old from a single comment?

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to atomicmama For This Useful Post:

    Molros (11-02-2020)

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    4,510
    Thanks
    4,323
    Thanked
    3,888
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    How would you feel on the receiving end of that though?

    He said one thing. The school has reprimanded him, the parents may have reprimanded him as well and talked to him about it, and then OP demands an apology from him too? How many consequences are appropriate for an 8/9 year old from a single comment?
    Oh I would hate to be on the receiving end and agree that the matter appears to have been adequately dealt with.

    However, I was coming from the perspective of the OP being upset about the lack of apology. An apology they are unlikely to get unless they tell someone they would like one.

    Eta I deliberately didn't comment as to whether or not I think an apology is warranted. Just wanted to highlight that sometimes in life it is preferable to communicate what you need from other people instead of dwelling about not getting it.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 10-02-2020 at 15:49.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama (10-02-2020),siansmum (10-02-2020)

  10. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    5,075
    Thanks
    1,696
    Thanked
    3,068
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by siansmum View Post
    Thanks, but we’re not happy with the lack of apology. Yes, the child has had consequences at school - being removed from the playground, but we would like an apology to our family. Our little girl isn’t here to defend herself, so we are her advocates and believe she and our son (and we as their parents) deserve an apology from the child at least.
    Treading very carefully.
    The child in question has received punishment at school,and, I would hope home.
    I think demanding an apology to your family is taking it a little far.
    Kids say horrible things in anger and while it’s not ok, he has been punished.
    You can’t force someone to apologise as much as you would like one.
    Does your son want you to force the issue or leave it alone? This could come back to bite him in the butt on the playground.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    Mum-I-Am (11-02-2020),siansmum (10-02-2020)

  12. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    12,983
    Thanks
    4,475
    Thanked
    7,911
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I would like to add that I think the OP’s family deserves an apology as it’s the decent thing to do, I would not take it further by asking for one. It takes the sincerity and sentiment out of it if they are prompted to say sorry.

    Hopefully the child in question will learn from this experience and be more mindful and sensible in their choice of words moving forward.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    Molros (11-02-2020),siansmum (10-02-2020)

  14. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    4,077
    Thanks
    609
    Thanked
    2,861
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Absolutely I would make my child apologise and if something like that happened to one of my kids I would hope a apology would be forthcoming. Not the same situation but DS2 disrupted a class and pulled a littles girls hair and we made him deliver a special apology letter to the little girl and also apologise to the other kids in the class and the teacher for interrupting their class time. And he has learnt from his mistake he has never once since touched another student or disrupted a class (other then talking loud when he is excited) and I would like to think that it’s because we a) explained why it was wrong and b) made him accountable

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to loodle For This Useful Post:

    Molros (11-02-2020),siansmum (11-02-2020)

  16. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,040
    Thanks
    282
    Thanked
    571
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    UPDATE: Our son received this yesterday. We’re happy with this. Adjustments.jpg

  17. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to siansmum For This Useful Post:

    ivyninja (12-02-2020),JR03 (12-02-2020),loodle (12-02-2020),Mod-Degrassi (12-02-2020),Mod-Uniquey (12-02-2020),PinkPopsicle (12-02-2020),shadowangel0205 (12-02-2020)

  18. #20
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,875
    Thanks
    1,068
    Thanked
    2,317
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Firstly I’m sorry for your loss.

    My DD bullied a girl at school a few years back, it wasn’t an ongoing issue but a one off and DD was very rude. When I found out I called the mother absolutely apologetic, we knew each other a little from school... she blasted me to the point where I was in tears for an hour after, it was really brutal. After that I will never contact another parent and I let the school deal with it until I’m called in. You just don’t know how people will react.
    I would make my child write a note which is what happened here.

  19. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    BettyV (13-02-2020),bezzy (12-02-2020),siansmum (12-02-2020)


 

Similar Threads

  1. When you feel you need to apologise for your child....
    By Bond Girl in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 06-01-2015, 15:08
  2. Replies: 99
    Last Post: 02-05-2010, 19:38
  3. would you pay for your child to do homework??
    By angelkisses in forum Preschools and Schools
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-02-2010, 07:44
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 22-04-2008, 20:55

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
TPS Health PhysiotherapyTPS Health has four clinics located at Morningside, Cleveland, Victoria Point and Lutwyche. We offer pre/post natal ...