+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,895
    Thanks
    3,863
    Thanked
    3,972
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Dh refers to his mum as mum not Nana to the kids.

    Am I overreacting to get annoyed and angry when he does this? Ie he will tell dd's to give that to mum.. Mum will be here soon.. Mum this mum that.. Instead of give that to Nana, Nana will be here soon etc. I've told him it's disrespectful to me to do this and he said he doesn't mean to. The girls are nearly 15 and 8.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    894
    Thanks
    441
    Thanked
    1,184
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Personally I don’t see how it’s disrespectful to you, especially given your girls are old enough to understand he’s referring to his mother, not to you.

    But if you’ve said it’s important to you, he should at least try not to do it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    3,308
    Thanks
    1,445
    Thanked
    1,633
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    That’d annoy me too!

    Unfortunately it sounds like it’s a habit he’s not ever going to break. Even if he added the word “my” before “give it to MY Mum” or “MY Mum is going to be here soon” it would be better.

    FWIW it’s worth, both my DH and I refer to the kids Nanna/Nan as “Nanna is looking after you today” or “Nan is here”. In fact my Mum is listed in my phone as “Nanna”.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,944
    Thanks
    1,118
    Thanked
    2,375
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I’m a bit confused... it is his mum. Aren’t your children supposed to call her nana? I’m not sure how it works.
    Either way I always say mum to my mother and even talking to my kids I say pass this to mum. Even DH says that e.g “I’m taking the kids to see mum”.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard (09-02-2020)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,111
    Thanks
    858
    Thanked
    910
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think it is creepy. I dont think you are over-reacting. I would find it uncomfortable and weird. She isn't their mother, she is their grandmother, Geez new level of Oedipus complex.

    If you are talking to kids you refer to the other person as the name the kids call them.
    Last edited by Mummamania; 09-02-2020 at 10:54.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    478
    Thanks
    147
    Thanked
    194
    Reviews
    0
    Sorry I don’t see an issue either, they are old enough to differentiate between mum and nanna.. don’t over think it love as he probably doesn’t have any ill intentions behind it xx

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    7,088
    Thanks
    9,585
    Thanked
    6,242
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I’m really lost as to this issue. Your DH calls his mum, mum...? Your kids are old enough to know that their dad’s mum is their nan/nana/grandma.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,895
    Thanks
    3,863
    Thanked
    3,972
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    To clear something up. Mil lives with us when she's home from fifo. When talking to the kids he most often says eg "mum was calling you" and when she's home will go to her because he does it that often, when he meant I was calling them and vice versa. The look on their faces is usually confusion.

    Someone said Oedipus complex and it certainly feels that way a lot of the time.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to DesperatelySeekingSleep For This Useful Post:

    Mummamania (09-02-2020)

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,111
    Thanks
    858
    Thanked
    910
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by DesperatelySeekingSleep View Post
    To clear something up. Mil lives with us when she's home from fifo. When talking to the kids he most often says eg "mum was calling you" and when she's home will go to her because he does it that often, when he meant I was calling them and vice versa. The look on their faces is usually confusion.

    Someone said Oedipus complex and it certainly feels that way a lot of the time.
    In the VERY LEAST he should be saying to the kids MY mum was calling you." But more appropriate would definitely be "Nana was calling you" very strange. Is he just doing it to irritate you?

  12. #10
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,944
    Thanks
    1,118
    Thanked
    2,375
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    OP I think I understand what you mean in the sense that it can get confusing. Have you talked to him about it? Like another poster said can he say “my mum”. I personally hate the word nan or nana just reminds me of someone in a nursing home. Weird I know.
    But I think there is probably something else going on for you guys. It’s not hard for him to say my mum, if he is more comfortable using the word mum.
    Also I can imagine it wouldn’t be easy for anyone living with their MIL.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard (09-02-2020)


 

Similar Threads

  1. 'I' am his MUM, not YOU....
    By subaruforestermum in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 12-02-2009, 20:34
  2. I don't want to be his mum anymore (huge vent)
    By werdxela in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 06-11-2007, 22:22
  3. Older mums NOT the reason for increased c/sec rate
    By becca74 in forum News & Current Affairs
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 18-07-2007, 12:32
  4. When is a young mum not so young anymore?
    By Lunar in forum General Chat
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 29-01-2007, 15:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Innovations Physio & PilatesWomen’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Iron infusionsPregnancy & Birth General Chat
Zierra Shoes?General Chat
Weekend ChatGeneral Chat
Ttc 2021Conception & Fertility General Chat
High Natural Killer Cells #11Reproductive Immunology

ADVERTISEMENT