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  1. #1
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    Default Class allocations - what's reasonable?

    I'm hoping for thoughts from other parents and possibly teachers.

    DD1 just started year 1 - the school has three year 1 classes. Towards the end of kindy last year, the school sent home a note asking families to nominate three children they would like to see in their child's class this year. The note said that our children would be guaranteed to have at least one friend on our list placed in the same class this year.

    This hasn't happened, none of the three names on our list are in DD1's year 1 class. I know for a fact that at least two of them had DD1 on their respective lists, the third I don't know about because we haven't discussed it but I have no reason to think she wouldn't have been.

    Now I'm thinking about what (if anything) to do. Should I raise it with the school? Am I overreacting? I also only know one set of parents in the class DD1 has ended up in, but not well, it feels like our school social circle has been thrown back into square one. Honestly, it feels like we're in a new school - and I'm quite effed off about it. I can't help but feel that DD1 has been a bit hard done by, ending up with a class full of children she hasn't really played with in preschool or kindy. DH thinks I'm being overprotective and that she'll just cope.

  2. #2
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    My DDs are now older (year 10 and year 8)... Only once were our requests listened to in primary years of schooling and that was to separate DD from a boy who had done something very inappropriate to her. That request was listened to for year 4 and year 5. They were back in the same class in year 6.

    So, I think you can make your concerns known, but I don't think they'll change a class. Class placements always cause angst....every year!

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    My daughters group of friends have changed each year at school so far. I think it is wrong that they told the children that someone on their list would be in their class but when our school did this they specifically stated not your best friends but other kids they liked and got along with. I think it is really good to mix up the classes, the teachers at our school usually have some idea of who will work well together and apart so maybe they thought your daughter would benefit from a shift. I would just let it be now that the year has started and try to encourage your daughter to expand her friendships.

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    My daughter just started school with literally no-one she went to kindy with. We both didn't know a soul. She can be quite an anxious child etc.

    This is her second week on school and when I was leaving her this morning, another child ran up and hugged her. She has gone from being bullied in kindy to making a friend on the first day of school. She has 17 boys in her class and she is 1 of 8 girls.

    I'd let it be. There's so many other things that come into play.

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    Green Cheese (04-02-2020),Kalina (04-02-2020),LoveMyWay (04-02-2020),PomPoms (04-02-2020)

  8. #5
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    I guess it baffles me why they would tell us that they guaranteed one child on our list would be in the same class - I checked this with them at the end of the year too, they confirmed it was guaranteed. So I thought it was safe to talk to DD1 about it over the holidays. If it hadn't been for that I wouldn't have expected anything... you get what you get and you don't get upset.

    So update, I've called the school. Another child had to be separated from her bff because her parents thought they didn't work well together. The school thought she would be distraught at that - so they made sure she got another child on her list, DD1. Great for them, not so much for us.

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    I wasn't aware this was a thing - we don't get to nominate preferences at my DS's school.

    I think because they 'guaranteed' it, I would consider raising it with the school if it's really bothering you (which it sounds like it is). What's the point of giving parents a choice but not delivering?!

    I quizzed my DS on who is in his new class this year (he's in 3rd grade) and I was surprised that a lot of his friends from his class last year are in the other year 3 class (there's only 2 classes). I'm not really bothered by this though, as I know the teachers would have given the classes a lot of thought.

    ETA - I've just read your update. Doesn't seem fair for your DD.

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    I think the school was silly in ‘guaranteeing’ that at least one of the nominees would be in your child’s class and then it not being the case.
    I can understand you feeling hard done by for your daughter with this outcome and it would seem unreasonable for sure.

    That said, I tend to agree with your DH in that she will cope and I personally would let it ride. It’s a good way for your DD to expand her friendship circle and grade ones mostly tend to parallel play anyway. You can reassure your DD that she can seek out her friends in the playground as well. Kids are far more resilient at these sorts of situations than we often give them credit for.

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    My DD just started grade 1. She has some friends from prep in her class. I wouldn’t have been too bothered if she did or didn’t, at this age they are learning about friendships so I think it’s good to expand the circle.

    While I understand why the school asked for suggestions, they really shouldn’t have made a guarantee.

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    I think it sucks that they said they would, but then didn't.

    However, I also think it's a wonderful opportunity to make new friends. I purposely asked that my daughter NOT be in the same class as her besty this year, as they were far too reliant on each other and making no other friends, and were very distracting to each other in class. It is working out so much better for both of them, and they still play together at lunch time.

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    Kalina (04-02-2020)

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    I'll have to think about this tonight, speak to DD1 and get a sense of how she feels. An additional thing for me is that her bestie moved interstate a couple of weeks ago, likely for good. DD1 is petty upset about it, so we've been talking about seeing all her school friends (we've been away for much of the holidays). At school she's made a fair few friends, so I'm not sure she'd really benefit from expanding. Her teacher last year told me that DD1 is a popular kid, other kids like playing with her, so I suspect they figured she'd be easy-going enough to plonk into any group. But I know her better obviously, she doesn't feel that she's made any particularly close friends, so
    i guess that's why I'd prefer more familiar faces around her.

    Also, when I spoke to the school earlier they indicated that they would move her if we wanted. But the classes are full, so that would involve moving someone else to create a spot, which I'm not looking to do either obviously.
    Last edited by Kalina; 04-02-2020 at 14:29.


 

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