+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    2,191
    Thanks
    4,211
    Thanked
    2,962
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default WDYT? How responsible should siblings be for each other?

    Yesterday I took DS(5) to a local splash park on the foreshore of a lake used for boating / jetski/ swimming etc
    At the splash park there is also a water slide (with a life guard), a kiosk, playground (separate fenced area) as well as a swimming pool type area in the lake itself.
    Most of the parents (myself included) sat on towels watching the kids race up and down the water slide.

    A couple was sitting next to me lying on their towels chatting. A little girl approached them (maybe somewhere between 8-11yo) and grabbed her towel. The couple immediately started berating her about where her sister was. Why wasn’t she with her? Why is she back here alone? If she couldn’t watch her sister they’d pack up immediately and go home. It went on and on.

    The little girl kept saying things like “I told her to come with me but she ran off” or “I told her she couldn’t go down the slide anymore but she didn’t listen” but the couple seemed to ignore this and kept going and going.

    The male eventually stood up and looked around briefly and came back and said “she’s up the slide again. Well you’re lucky she didn’t drown in the lake since you didn’t watch her.” Little girl bursts into tears and sits down.

    Smaller child comes down the slide, is collected by the male and brought back to the group. Best guess, smaller child somewhere between 3-5.

    I have an only child so the idea of DS being watched by an older sibling hasn’t come up but this scenario seemed off to me (outsider looking in). That this little girl seemed to be held responsible for the welfare of her much smaller sibling - in a crowded, unfenced area, close to a lake and a road, with the adults not taking any notice themselves (both lying on towels on their stomachs facing away from the slide and splash park area)

    Note: ages are approximate. I have no idea how old these kids were. I also wasn’t watching these parents the whole time so I can’t be certain they weren’t turning around occasionally to keep an eye on kids.

    But WDYT? For parents with multiple kids - do your kids look out for each other in similar situations? Who is responsible? What ages?

    Just curious for everyone’s thoughts

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,111
    Thanks
    858
    Thanked
    910
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Most pools and water parks have rules regarding this, usually the age you can have someone supervise another child there is 16.

    I have several children and my I often have my 16 year old daughter supervise a younger sibling at the pool, but Im also there watching from the sidelines, counting heads (including hers!)

    Last edited by Mummamania; 18-01-2020 at 16:40.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Mummamania For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-01-2020)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    2,147
    Thanks
    940
    Thanked
    786
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    How horrible of those parents to put so much responsibility on a child. And incredibly irresponsible of the parents to expect a child to watch a smaller child at a water park of all places. I would of found it very hard to keep my mouth shut if I was sitting next to them hearing them lecture the sister. If the younger sibling had hurt herself or drowned, it would of been on them, gosh I can't believe they would guilt their own child like that.

  5. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Tinkers For This Useful Post:

    BettyV (18-01-2020),littleone11 (25-02-2020),Moc24 (20-01-2020),Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-01-2020),PinkPopsicle (20-01-2020)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,921
    Thanks
    1,086
    Thanked
    2,348
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I would never expect an 11 year old to look after a 5 year old in water or anywhere else for that matter. That is just way to young for me to be comfortable.
    That whole situation sounds pretty off with how they are speaking to their 11 year old (or however old she is).

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-01-2020)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    14,615
    Thanks
    10,048
    Thanked
    10,965
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Honestly at a pool etc 18+ and be able to do cpr and cope if they had to do it.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-01-2020)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    11,220
    Thanks
    5,543
    Thanked
    6,905
    Reviews
    9
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I never expect DD (6) to look after DS (2) where his safety could be compromised. I do sometimes ask her to entertain him while we’re at home, inside, doors locked, while I go to the toilet, or at a play centre I might ask her to help him on the equipment or remind him about “gentle hands” when I’m not nearby. But if she doesn’t do it, I can’t be mad at her because she’s just a kid herself and the consequences aren’t huge.

    I absolutely would never expect a kid under about 13-15 (depending on their own maturity) to watch another child around water or even in a large public place where there are a lot of strangers around.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to JR03 For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (18-01-2020)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    8,676
    Thanks
    1,373
    Thanked
    5,034
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Mine are 8y10m, 4y9m, and 8 months.
    I have never let my oldest look after his younger brothers anywhere but at home if I'm in another room (e.g. I'm going to the loo and bubba is happy playing on the floor, with safe toys around)

    I would certainly not expect him to mind them near water. I actually make sure we are 1:1 in water. Even with 3, even now, even at almost 9 years old, I STILL make sure there's an adult free to help him if needed. It's just too easy for something to happen and if you're responsible for two small ones, the logistics are quite scary!

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to EnchantedGrace For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (19-01-2020)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,034
    Thanks
    198
    Thanked
    1,053
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I have a 12,9&6. When out in a busy area i may ask 12 to help locate the other 2 if theyve somehow escaped my vision but in no way is she responsible for them & i would be searching for them also.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to RmumR For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (19-01-2020)

  16. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    13,230
    Thanks
    4,664
    Thanked
    8,147
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I have an only child, but my two cents is that it sounds unfair to place that level of responsibility on a young child, especially when there are two parents there to keep their eyes on the kids. I mean, they could easily take turns themselves on supervising. That's their job.

    I can only put this down to lazy parenting.

    I nearly drowned in the ocean as a child because my cousins were put in a position where they were supposed to look after me but weren't up to the task. I do not blame them, as they should not have been put in that situation of responsibility in the first place.

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,499
    Thanks
    1,491
    Thanked
    2,376
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My kids are 10, 8, 6 and 4

    When Out i will often give the 10 and 8 year olds the responsibility to hold the 6 and 4 year olds hands and make sure they stay with us. Also, at home, if I have to duck downstairs for something I will often ask the older 2 to make sure the younger 2 don't get up to any mischief....

    BUT at a pool no way no how. A kid as young as you described shouldn't be in a public pool without an adult anyway! I'm all for teaching kids to be responsible and that sometimes they will have to help out a little bit... but they need to be kids too. They need to be able to have their own fun and not have to always be worrying about their younger siblings. They didn't make the choice to have those children!
    I teach my kids that part of being a family means contributing, helping out when asked, and sometimes making a decision based on whats best for everyone rather than whats just best for them.... but they do this happily because I also give them plenty of time to just be themselves with no responsibility as well... just be a kid.
    The pool scenario isn't just nasty to the older kids it's very irresponsible and unsafe. What if the younger child HAD been injured or worse. That kids would spend the rest of their lives blaming themselves

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CazHazKidz For This Useful Post:

    Neraka (21-02-2020),SuperGranny (20-01-2020)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-04-2012, 23:32
  2. How much should i express for a feed?
    By RebeccaAnne in forum Breastfeeding Support
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 15-01-2012, 20:28
  3. How old should baby be for christening?
    By LoCo in forum Naming Days, Christenings & Baptisms
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-01-2011, 10:08
  4. How long should it take for my iron leveles to pick up?
    By ~BEXTER~ in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 22-05-2010, 08:30
  5. How much should we pay for Babysitter??
    By Mummamuffin in forum Tasmania
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 15-01-2008, 20:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Innovations Physio & PilatesWomen’s Health Physios who are able to assess and treat a wide range of Pregnancy and Post Natal Issues. We offer ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...

ADVERTISEMENT