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  1. #11
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    You haven't made a mistake.

    You said you felt ashamed to even tell friends. Why? Nothing you have done is shameful. You didn't lie. You didn't cheat. You didn't steal. You made an error. He should be ashamed of himself for acting this way toward you. If still do feel like it's your fault, ask yourself this:

    Does he ever berate himself over having gambled? Does he link his gambling to the family's inability to afford a car by now?

    If the answer is no, then the loss of money isn't the issue here. The issue is that he sees you as a scapegoat for his own failings.

    Please don't feel alone. We have a wonderful community here that you can come to anytime for support. xx

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskahblue View Post
    Every time I try to end the relationship he just refuses to accept it and doesn't accept my reasons for it
    As hard as this is and I know it's easier said than done, if he says it's over and he wants to leave let him go.

    You said you have tried to end it but he won't accept that. Accept that he wants to end it and let him.

    You and the kids will be ok

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  5. #13
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    Him wanting to end the relationship is your chance to escape, although I do feel if you took that opportunity he would change his mind and not “allow” it to end. He sounds like he’s just messing with your head.

    If your priority is to buy a car, can’t you buy a cheap one, if you can’t pay your ongoing bills, you don’t have to. It will go into debt but even then it’s up to you if you want to pay it. Or can you cancel your contract, sometimes they let you if you say you are moving and don’t have an address yet, or no place to reconnect it. Sometimes that’s good enough reason for them to cancel it for you.

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  7. #14
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    Have been doing quiet a lot of thinking this week and I'm thinking that I am in an unhealthy toxic relationship and I'm unsure of how to get myself and the kids out without doing them too much damage because I know he would not allow me to willing leave without it turning in to an all out fight and he is a master manipulator

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskahblue View Post
    Have been doing quiet a lot of thinking this week and I'm thinking that I am in an unhealthy toxic relationship and I'm unsure of how to get myself and the kids out without doing them too much damage because I know he would not allow me to willing leave without it turning in to an all out fight and he is a master manipulator
    Phone 1800 RESPECT . The ladies there can put in touch with services in your local area that can support you. Good Luck. I've been there before and it isn't easy.

  10. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    Phone 1800 RESPECT . The ladies there can put in touch with services in your local area that can support you. Good Luck. I've been there before and it isn't easy.
    Thanks I will try them when I can get time out

  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskahblue View Post
    Have been doing quiet a lot of thinking this week and I'm thinking that I am in an unhealthy toxic relationship and I'm unsure of how to get myself and the kids out without doing them too much damage because I know he would not allow me to willing leave without it turning in to an all out fight and he is a master manipulator
    I'm very sorry you've found yourself in this position, but I'm also very glad that you've come to the realisation that things aren't healthy.

    Do you think he would spy on you? If you do, please clear your phone or computer history after logging on each time. One of the biggest fears I have when trying to help someone leave an abusive relationship, is the fear that the abusive partner may retaliate. My sister went through something similar.

    www.askizzy.com.au type in your postcode and see what comes up for services.

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  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissTwiggley View Post
    I'm very sorry you've found yourself in this position, but I'm also very glad that you've come to the realisation that things aren't healthy.

    Do you think he would spy on you? If you do, please clear your phone or computer history after logging on each time. One of the biggest fears I have when trying to help someone leave an abusive relationship, is the fear that the abusive partner may retaliate. My sister went through something similar.

    www.askizzy.com.au type in your postcode and see what comes up for services.
    No I don't think he would but I will clear things just in case. Thanks for the help

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  15. #19
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    How are things going?


 

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