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  1. #1
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    Default Big mistake

    Hi need some help on what to do i made huge big mistake?

    Back story DP came into some money last year and he gave me money to pay off my phone and an iPad that I had on a plan now I have transferred that money straight to the company so we're in front a few hundred dollars and I've just done that and not paid anything else and I was supposed be continuing paying towards the internet service we have and without a thought at all I just left it not intentionally I just didn't think about that is what I has to do. now we've come today where that in credit money has run out and we are back to paying phone internet etc

    Now I've realised I have made this big mistake and we left paying for another phone and the internet and the iPad has a couple months left so that's another payment

    And we are living on a basic income with 2 young children and were trying to save for a car and relocate back to a city where there a more jobs etc the place we are at now has very little jobs etc..
    Now dp is angry with me which I understand and accept my mistake but now he has said that we are over that he doesn't want to be together because of this mistake and it's all my fault that I have broken this family..

    I'm just stuck and don't know what to do?

  2. #2
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    I feel so stupid because I've made this mistake and I am always forgetting things or not thinki m g clearly and I've been doing this a lot and it's just with simple basic everyday things and I have no idea why I do it

    Our kids are 2.5 months and youngest is 5months.

    I have no family support and I feel ashamed of myself so can't bring myself to tell any friends what I've done either

  3. #3
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    I’m sorry I don’t really understand. Why is he angry? From what I can understand you were meant to keep making regular repayments but didn’t? Does it matter? It’s either money spent then or money spent now? Or is he suggesting you spent the money on other things instead of the phone payments?

    Gotta be honest for this to be such a big issue I think their must be underlying issues. Having a new baby is tough on everyone. How have you been getting along? Have their been issues with money/spending before?

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the reply.

    I was meant to be making regular payments but in my mind I put that task aside thinking I didn't need to worry about the payments as we were in credit so I didn't think any more on it

    But because I've done that and I've had to get a new phone recently and I am being selfish for needing a new phone this has ruined our chance to relocate and in his view I've stuffed up all our plans

    We have had issues with finances in the past but that was from him gambling.

    Hope this makes more sense

  5. #5
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    So, you were a few months in credit and then that credit ran out, leaving X amount still payable. How much is X amount? Can you call the company, explain financial difficulty and ask to be put on a payment plan that's do-able for you? Most companies would prefer this compared to the alternative, which is give your account to debt collection, costing them money etc.

    I don't see this as an issue that should break any relationship - your partner sounds draconian, especially since, I assume, you stood by him during his gambling, which would have been a far bigger source of money down the drain.

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  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elevatormusic View Post
    So, you were a few months in credit and then that credit ran out, leaving X amount still payable. How much is X amount? Can you call the company, explain financial difficulty and ask to be put on a payment plan that's do-able for you? Most companies would prefer this compared to the alternative, which is give your account to debt collection, costing them money etc.

    I don't see this as an issue that should break any relationship - your partner sounds draconian, especially since, I assume, you stood by him during his gambling, which would have been a far bigger source of money down the drain.
    Yes that's right
    We now are having to go back to paying this bill monthly which we are able to work in our budget .. however because I have done this we now have to wait longer to save for a car and to be able to move back to the city etc
    He is angry at me because basically our plans have gone to s h it and he has said I have ruined anything positive he had to look forward to for this year
    We have been arguing about this all weekend

  8. #7
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    The monthly cost of even the latest phone, ipad and plan wouldn't make that big of a difference in saving for a car and moving expenses, so even if you did stuff up with the billing, it's not exactly a big thing.

    The negative self talk and the way your husband is speaking to you is not okay. Please consider whether this is a healthy relationship for you to be in.

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  10. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskahblue View Post
    Yes that's right
    We now are having to go back to paying this bill monthly which we are able to work in our budget .. however because I have done this we now have to wait longer to save for a car and to be able to move back to the city etc
    He is angry at me because basically our plans have gone to s h it and he has said I have ruined anything positive he had to look forward to for this year
    We have been arguing about this all weekend
    I doubt having a bit of a debt with a phone or internet company is going to completely destroy the entire year and all your yearly goals. Call the company up, tell them you are in financial hardship and negotiate a payment plan. I’m assuming you need to keep paying monthly for phone and internet, just add a bit extra to cover the debt. Most places are happy to arrange a payment plan.
    Your DH is really exaggerating the situation.
    I’m pretty sure arguing all weekend over a phone bill implies there is something else going on.

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  12. #9
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    Every time I try to end the relationship he just refuses to accept it and doesn't accept my reasons for it

  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mskahblue View Post
    Every time I try to end the relationship he just refuses to accept it and doesn't accept my reasons for it
    He doesn't need to accept your reasons for wanting to end the relationship. Your reasons don't need to be good enough for him. Your wanting out is reason enough.

    I would suggest you phone 1800 RESPECT and have a chat with the ladies there. They will be able to hook you up with local organisations who can give you help.

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