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  1. #1
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    Default First time here - egg donation

    Hello,

    I can't believe I am nervous about signing up and posting. Maybe it means it make the whole thing more real. I have been reading posts for a while and have been overwhelmed with the amount of information.

    My partner and I are considering egg donation. This has been really hard decision and I think my partner is unsure about the whole thing, obviously he would prefer if we can do it ourselves, but I am trying to be realistic I am in my early 40s and I have only tried two rounds of IVF, but my first round I got no eggs and the second I only got one supposedly top grade egg, but wasn't successful. I read about everyone going through years of trying with no success, my journey so far has only been short, but I am trying to be a little realistic if my experience so far has been that my body has performed so poorly with the max meds I think why keep going down a path and spending more money to receive the same results. Anyway I have been looking at egg donor in Australia and I don't like the responses I am receiving, basically I ask questions and the responses I get are something along the lines is that I should be lucky to get any eggs. So overseas seems to be the way to go, I am thinking Greece or Spain are the options. As I mentioned previously I have been reading the forums for a while and would like to hear of more recent experiences. I have read wonderful experiences about Dr K at Embryoland, and would like to hear more about this doctor and other clinics. I have checked out the IVF Spain website they talk about facial mapping, is this something that all overseas clinics offer. I hope this question does not offend anyone, as that is not my intention, but as most clinics at the minimum talk about trying physically match you with the donor, do you think your child resembles you physically? I think this is the part my partner and I are both struggling with.

    My other question relates to fresh eggs, I know they screen for HIV, STI etc, but I am confused how they do this with fresh eggs, as for example if someone contracted a contagious disease a week or the day prior to transfer how can they be sure nothing has been passed on?

    Can you request specific nationalities to match your own heritage or are the donors normally Spanish of Greek?

    I would appreciate any recommendations, hints, tips on dealing with this process, if you have negative experiences I would like to hear them too.

    If anyone has some good resources to help order my thoughts such as go to websites or similar I would appreciate if you could post these too.

    I will try and respond as soon as possible, but very busy so I might take a few days to get back, but will try my best.

    I hope this post makes sense and doesn't just come across as confused ramblings... because that's how I feel.

    Thanks for reading

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    gorgeousgeorge (16-12-2019)

  3. #2
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    Hi lovely lady, i dont have m7ch time to write a proper response right now but i went to greece to dr.n and have a gorgeous 2 year old daughter now. Id suggest posting on the greece thread and all us ladies can give you some help to answer your questions.

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    Unsure76 (31-12-2019)

  5. #3
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    Also Czech Republic is a great option, also usually cheaper than Greece or Spain.

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    gorgeousgeorge (16-12-2019),Unsure76 (31-12-2019)

  7. #4
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    Greece and Czech are both good. Spain is good too but exxy.

    Could also be worth checking out South Africa, Cape Fertility in Cape Town is excellent and I had a great experience there. I chose South Africa because you get a lot more info about the donors (including childhood pics so you can judge for yourself if it’s a good match). CFC screen the donor immediately before each and every cycle so all testing is always up-to-date.

    Maybe have a read of the Egg Donation in Greece and Egg Donation in South Africa threads. I think there’s a Czech one too.

    R

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    Unsure76 (31-12-2019)

  9. #5
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    Hi Unsure
    I went to Greece and have a 16mo son.
    I went through Ruth Pellows at ivftreatmentabroad.com. Would be worth sending her an email or call as she can answer all your questions for you. She deals with clinics in Greece and Spain. As Risa said Douth Africa is also a good option you choose your own donor there from the profiles provided. You can just join the donor sites and have a look at profiles straight away if you want. Some that I can remember ate nurture, giftovlife and baby2mom.
    Everyone says my son looks like me. He certainly does not look dissimilar. I tried IVF for many years in my fourties with no sucess. My only regret is that I didn’t move to donor eggs sooner. I am too old now to have another so my son is it for me. He is my whole world and I wouldn’t swap him for anyone. I know it is very hard to let go of your own DNA but believe me when you fall pregnant you will never give it another thought. Best of luck.

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    Unsure76 (31-12-2019)

  11. #6
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    Default Thank you all

    I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas.

    And thank you for taking the time to respond and it was lovely to hear the success that you have had, congratulations.

    I have struggled to bring myself back to forum to read the responses. I think is this because I don't want it bad enough, or because I am afraid or because I want my own eggs to work. I kept thinking over the Christmas period, while I was buying presents for other people's children, how I would love to but this or that for my own child. How wonderful it would be to watch them filled with joy on Christmas morning, just as I was as a child, but then I think am I living a fantasy? I know this may seem weird but it feels like this is a place where I can put out all my thoughts without being judged or having someone who has not had the same experience try to comfort or say the right thing, if that makes sense.

    I was reluctant to post only on a Greece board as I wanted to get an idea of both Spain and Greece, however thinking about it and after your suggestions, it actually makes more sense to do so, so I will do that at some point too. I have read good things about the Czech Republic too, but I don't know why it just doesn't seem right for me, not that I have looked into it much, so I might do that before completely eliminating it.

    And I have also read about Ruth Pellows, and was surprised that she offers her services for free, when my experiences in Australia have been it seems only about money. I think contacting Ruth will be a good step, but I was thinking I should narrow down my choice of clinic or at least country before doing so, or is this also something she can help me with?

    Thank you all again, I really do appreciate your responses sorry for the delay, it's just hard reaching this point, as I am sure you are all aware.

    Happy New Year everyone

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    gorgeousgeorge (01-01-2020)

  13. #7
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    @Unsure76 it’s probably best to narrow it down to country first, then clinics, I tried Greece first then went to the Czech Republic, we now love Greece so much that it’s our favourite place to holiday even though our treatment didn’t work there, so it’s a great place to combine treatment with a holiday. In saying that, we had an awesome holiday in Czech too and Prague is a magical city as well. It’s hard to choose especially when your first starting out, it can be overwhelming, and just like anything you do need to do your research as there are some dodgy clinics out there as I found out with my first experience in Greece.
    for me cost was an issue and that is one of the reasons why I chose Czech for my second try, plus I also belong to a different forum and everyone who was going to the clinic I ended up going to was getting bfp’s, the difference between the Greek clinic and i Czech one was like night and day.
    ruth maybe a good starting point to help you with some clinics but if things don’t work out quite as expected, you need to be aware that she will just direct you back to the clinic for answers. If Greece is where your leaning towards then I would definitely pop onto the Greek thread, the ladies are lovely and it’s great to read and follow along on the journeys

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    Kalina (31-12-2019)

  15. #8
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    So much of what you've described sounds like me and my husband. Same age, same circumstances, same uncertainty. We love our life and we love our nieces/nephews/friend's kids, but part of us both wonders if that is what we even want. Well, that decision to some degree has been made for us thanks to unexplained infertility. On the one hand I feel I really want children, on the other I ask myself is this just how it's supposed to be. I think it may also just be the brain's coping mechanism to a really traumatic situation.
    Something that makes me think I defintely do want a child is that I would go around the stores, buying gifts for other friend's children and bursting into tears. Looking back now, and it wasn't that long ago, I realise I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of my fertility. When I realised that was what it was I reflected upon the stories other women had shared about all the years and money spent trying to conceive with their own eggs. I knew I couldn't go on with the rollercoaster of emotions and the writing on the wall was pretty clear: chances of my eggs ever working was low to none. And then suddenly, the grieving eased up. I joined this forum and read lots of stories of women on the egg donation board. I started to feel the excitement that so many women here feel. The take away message from all the mums on here has been "I wish I'd started the donor process sooner!"
    Maybe you're still grieving too. Don't push yourself, you still have time. But doing the groundwork research will help prepare you for this path should you choose it. xx

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    Kalina (31-12-2019)


 

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