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  1. #1
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    Default Need help with tantrum

    Hi

    I’d like advice how to handle my 18 month old daughters behavior
    - eg: If she sees food she likes then she won’t eat her dinner until she gets the thing she can see. My solution is to make sure she doesn’t see it and if she does I’ll give it to her if it’s fruit
    - if it’s not fruit I won’t give it to her but I will try to “appease her” or distract her
    - my wife will try to be stern with her and sit and let my daughter meltdown. She won’t show her affection though. Treats her to some degree like you would treat a child who can understand

    My default position is “she is just a baby, it’s what they do”. This doesn’t help....

    Me and my wife and not on the same page and well I’ve not really thought about it much so I’m probably on the wrong page, maybe my wife is too, not sure.

    Advice on how to be a better father or a better husband greatly appreciated

    Irish man

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    To be honest, I think if you don’t want her to eat, you can’t even give her fruit. Even though it’s healthy, an 18 month old doesn’t understand why she can have a fruit but not a biscuit etc. It would be confusing for her.

    I think even at that age it’s ok for them to hear no but at that age, I found distraction worked best.

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    Redirection is definitely better in the toddler years. And I agree if you’re not eating at the time then don’t even let her eat fruit.

    Try to have her food organised so she doesn’t have to get hungry maybe?

    Your wife is right to ignore tantrums imo though you have to pick your timing.

    Sometimes they do need to just get it out of their system if they won’t be redirected.

    18 months is just the beginning of her trying out boundaries and things. Take it from someone who didn’t make the boundaries clear, you need to get on the same page together and establish your way now.
    Best of luck. Communication is key.


 

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