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  1. #1
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    Default Can little girls flirt?

    Have had some problems recently with DH's 6yo niece and the way she's been treating my 2yo DD. (It's in another thread, actually.) Was hesitant at first, didn't know how to tackle the issue but have been politely providing some verbal correction to anything I see that I don't like or don't get a good feeling about (just with regards to her interacting with DD, I'm not pulling her up on things that bug me if they're not relevant.

    Since I've begun calling attention to her behaviour, she seems to have taken a dislike to me, I'm guessing she sees it as an attack on her as opposed to defending my DD. I figure this is par for the course at this age, but what I'm not sure about is: do little girls have the capacity to flirt at this age? Do they even understand what it is? And would they try to use it against someone?

    It sounds ridiculous I'm sure, but since I've started giving her attention that isn't all praise, admiration and general 'you are just amazing' (she works hard to elicit this from any and all) she has started being very physically affectionate with DH and doing silly things like asking me questions about herself (for instance, what's my favourite colour, that sort of thing), then being very pleased that despite how many 'guesses' she gave me, I wasn't smart enough to know the answer. Naturally, DH's guess happens to be right first time, every time when the question is thrown to him after I'm just hopeless at getting it right.

    This alone isn't really anything, but when you add batting eyelids, twirling hair, etc towards him and kicking me under the table or giving me filthy looks whenever she can get his attention, I'm not sure if I'm being self-centred but is she doing this to annoy me? Or do 6yo's do this kind of thing when they decide they don't like you? It's only started SINCE I started telling her what not to do when it comes to my kid. And I do it pretty nicely, there's always another adult around and her parents and grandparents don't seem to have an issue with the way I go about it.

    Do girls flirt at this age? Is it normal? And if they do, would they flirt with a man for the purpose of getting under his wife's skin?

  2. #2
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    Lol

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  4. #3
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    i guess coquettish behavior probably isn’t outside the realm of possibility for a 6 year old but i’d say perhaps she’s copying another adult who she’s seen behave this way and maybe is trying it on for size. i don’t believe a 6 year old would have the cognitive nor emotional capacity to knowingly flirt with a married adult man for the purposes of annoying his wife. unless she’s seen this exact behavior play out at home or something, there’s just no way a kid this young could conceive of the fragility of a husband and wife relationship and realize a third party could jeopardize (or attempt to) with certain behaviors. what you’re suggesting is just way too advanced.

    well all in my humble opinion, i could be wrong. but i just can’t conceive how it would be possible.

    perhaps she’s witnessed her mum/another adult woman behaving flirtatiously with a man to manipulate a situation and she’s modeling the behavior??

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  6. #4
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    I think that she’s just trying to get your attention. Maybe because you are already annoyed with her about the way she treats your daughter, it’s possible that you are misreading a few things that she does. I don’t think that a 6yo would know that she could get back at you by trying to “flirt” with your husband.

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  8. #5
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    Really glad to hear this, I have no idea what 6 year olds do in terms of behaviour and I find it a little wierd. Copying her mum makes a lot of sense, as she flirts with most people, more like a personality trait as it includes women. Seems to help her get her way.

    Certainly didn't think it was anything to do with attraction/sex or anything like that, just didn't know if a 6yo would try to draw his attention for negative attention from me as well as positive from him as a reaction to being told off by me. It's probably just me being more annoyed with her these days as I used to love her to bits until the ugly side of her nature became apparent (being mean to DD).

  9. #6
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    Children learn what they live. Maybe that's what mummy does.
    But NO, 6 year olds don't "flirt", although I guess paedos disagree.

  10. #7
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    well my nearly 7yr old gets a little giggly and show offy towards my 10yr olds friends...
    didnt learn it from me and she doesnt have any friends outside school to learn that off.

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    I don't think a 6yo would flirt with your husband purely to illicit a rise out of you.
    She may be imitating behavior she's seen, or (in her mind) trying to get on your husbands "good" side by being sweet and lovey dovey, because she's being corrected by you (in her mind, on your bad side)

    I do think it's possible you could be reading to much into it, especially when mumma bear emotions come into play.

    I'd just correct the bad towards your daughter, ignore anything else that's not positive. She'll get the hint.

    Also, In all fairness, you've said that her parents/ grandparents haven't had an issue with you correcting her.... that may be true, but they actually might??? and just haven't said anything yet as you only recently requested suggestions for how to manage the 6yos behaviors. Much like you sought support, they may be thinking about how to speak to you about it?
    Just food for thought.

    I mean, im happy for others to correct my children if they aren't acting appropriately, however, if it seems to be too much/too often, I will eventually step up and tell them to lay off.

    Kids are kids. They do stuff they shouldn't. They forget. Yes, it's our job to guide them, but you *can* (I'm my opinion) over correct too

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  13. #9
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    Not anything I'm looking to change/fix/correct, that only applies to being mean to someone smaller than her, this isn't even worth a mention. Possible they aren't happy with it but 'please share with her' or 'be patient with her, she's still learning' is the manner I go about it in, just sum it up in a sentence with a please do or please don't type approach.

    But wanted to see what mums of girls this age might know, also thought it could have something to do with discovering independence, creating their own personality style, practising life skills or relating to adults differently after recently starting school and having more to do with more adults on a regular basis. Wanted to see how common it might be.

  14. #10
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    If I’m at the end of my tether with my kids they sense it and will kiss up a treat to their father as they know they’re not getting what they want from me. My dd isn’t flirting with her dad she’s playing the game of who is likely to give her what she wants. That’s what kids do. No doubt she is sensing your angst towards her and gravitating to where she thinks she will get what she needs, whatever those needs are.

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