+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 14 of 14
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    39
    Thanks
    53
    Thanked
    34
    Reviews
    0

    Default Mr 2

    He is obviously really distressed staying over night. He is still so little. Maybe Dad should consider seeing him more often but for less time until he gets more comfortable and not overnight until he is ready.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Mummaof4babies For This Useful Post:

    Mod-LIKE A BOSS (29-08-2019)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    270
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked
    224
    Reviews
    0
    Not much advise to give but I've seen the situation when my cousin separated from her partner. My niece is already 5 and she is fine to stay with her dad all day. He is a great dad, and an older sister who is 12 y/o is with her too each visit. But in bedtime she'll still look for her mum. Always distressed. She is independent too, i haven't seen her being too clingy, very behaved and is used to daycare since she was little. Anyway, they have tried sleepovers so many times but she is clearly very upset not seeing her mum at night the dad took her back to the mum's house everytime so she'll settle. I can't imagine how hard it is for a 2 y/o. Probably give it more time.
    Last edited by joyjen; 30-08-2019 at 07:31.

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    1,088
    Thanks
    6,655
    Thanked
    3,185
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    For my DSS when he was a bit younger than this all his dads visits were at mums house. Mum would go out whilst dad was there. Allowed them to bond in a comfortable and familiar environment. Eventually mum would go stay elsewhere and dad would stay on her lounge.

    DSS was 18 months when he had his first overnight with us at our place and we have never had any issues. I put that down to the fact that he was so comfortable with his dad because they had spent so much time together at mums. Husband and his ex split when DSS was only 3 months old. DSS is almost 8 now and we have 50/50.

    Could you try something like that? Have your partner spend time with his kids at her place? It’s not fun, having your partner spend so much time with their ex, but it could really help.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    9,071
    Thanks
    1,323
    Thanked
    5,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I can understand your partner wanting to spend time with his son, and I think it’s wonderful BUT it’s obviously not working for the son, at least not yet. 2 is still only very young, and any change in their environment can really distress them. Sorry to be blunt but this isn’t about your partner, it’s about his son and what’s best for him. And what’s best for him is right now, being with his mum in a familiar environment. Personally I would stop overnight visits until he is older, it sounds like he isn’t ready to be away from his mum that long. It doesn’t mean your partner can’t spend day times with him and still have a relationship. Sometimes we need to really look at the big picture and realise just because we want something to work, doesn’t mean it’s best for the child.

    When my now husband and I separated when our oldest was a year old, he lived an hour and a half away. We agreed on him having her every second weekend- only because we trialled her spending a night with him first and she handled it. A few months in, he wanted 50/50 (week on week off). As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t agree to it. She was only 18 months old and while she absolutely loved going to her dads, it would mean a huge upheaval in her day to day life and I didn’t think it was in her best interest at that time. Had he lived closer and been able to maintain her usual routine, I would have had no hesitation. I know it killed him not being able to have her more frequently, and I did my best to let him see her as much as possible (if he happened to come into town or something), called him most nights so he could talk to her etc. While he hated me at the time for saying no, he admits now that he was being selfish and couldn’t imagine causing so much disruption to such a young child now.


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts