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  1. #1
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    Default wwyd...

    i’ve just had a terrible row with dh, he’s really made me angry on what’s already been a tense afternoon for me. i feel anxious and tired and just over it.

    i went to a school readiness info session locally. i took dd with me as it’s likely she’ll need a feed during the time it runs (7-8:30pm) and i couldn’t be stuffed with bottles etc for a 1.5 hour event. i left ds home with dh and dh was doing bath and bed routine anyway.

    i get to the session but dd was really cranky and unsettled, i think she’s quite gassy and i forgot to give her some infants friend before we left. i managed to stay for about 30-40 minutes but she was getting fussier and fussier so i just decided to leave.

    i get back to my car in the car park (when i’d left it, there was no one parked to my left) to find some jack a$s has parked 4mm from the car, so close i couldn’t even get down the side to open the door, never mind get dd in the capsule down there. i saw red and almost burst into tears there and then but it was cold and i just wanted to get dd in the car. so i wheeled the pram into the empty disabled car spot to my right and popped the brake on. capsule is attached to pram, not on the ground. i quickly moved the car a few cm across and put dd in and pack pram into boot and off we go home, both of us crying.

    i get home and tell dh about this and he scolds me for not putting the capsule in the boot while moving the car. sorry but wtf?? surely that’s dangerous? a baby in an untethered capsule in the boot? she was far safer in her pram, i had my eye on her the whole time!

    so, wwyd: leave the capsule attached to pram and quickly move the car to a more accessible angle or put capsule in the boot?

    he’s made me feel like i made a lousy and irresponsible choice and endangered my baby’s life, so now i feel a hundred times crappier than i did before. i thought i was doing the safest thing. sure not ideal but how else could i get her into the car? climbing across through the driver’s side is not an option, ds has his car seat there and there’s no way i could maneuver the capsule over his car seat and into position onto the base.

  2. #2
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    Neither option is ideal but I definitely think you chose the lesser of 2 evils! I would have done the same. I’m sorry your dh is giving you a hard time about it, especially after an already **** day. Be gentle with yourself- you did what you thought was safest for your baby in the circumstances!

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  4. #3
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    Putting a capsule in the boot is a terrible idea . I think you did what any other reasonable person would do in those circumstances.

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    If you put the capsule in the boot you would have to shut the boot? Sounds like a terrible idea.

    I can’t see any issues with what you did. His idea is awful.

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  8. #5
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    oh sorry we have an suv so i do
    think the boot would’ve shut with a capsule in it. and the boot is connected to the main cabin of the car so not like there’s no airflow. but i agree, driving the car with an untethered capsule just seems so dangerous and stupid. she was parked stationary right next to me as i moved the car, i seriously didn’t know what else to do as it was cold, dark and she was screaming so i just wanted to get us both home. it’s quite rich coming from him as he moved our car while ds was standing at the laundry door and ended up reversing it into the garage door (i told him ds should always be IN the car when he’s moving it) so maybe he was trying to give me back my own medicine.

    he’s since clarified he thought i had dd in the capsule only on the ground of the carpark (like capsule not attached to pram) which i wouldn’t ever do as it would be much harder to see the capsule on the ground as you’re moving the car, esp from the drivers seat of a slightly higher up car like mine.

    anyway he’s since apologized but why he’s go out of his way to upset me and make me feel like
    crap is anyone’s guess.

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    Sounds like you did what most reasonable people would in the situation.

    Nothing in the situation is ideal but definently reasonable

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    You didn't have an ideal option available to you and took a calculated risk, that's what any parent - including your dh - would have done. He might have taken a different calculated risk, but it's the person in the situation who has to balance risks and decide what the best thing to do is.

    I imagine his response was partly about letting off steam rather than the issue itself.

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    I think by road laws you would be charged with something like negligence if you had an unsecured capsule and someone ran into the car and bub was injured.

    In the pram next to the car would still meet the 'adequate supervision' or whatever the wording is as I'd assume you could see the pram. Not ideal, but I'd think the best choice of the 2.

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    I'd have done what you did. certainly not put an untethered capsule in!

    Would it have been possible to put the capsule in from the opposite side? That would've been my only thought

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  17. #10
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    Default wwyd...

    I’m going to to go against the grain here. I’ll start by saying both options have risks and like most things in the moment you just do what you think is best.

    I would have put the capsule somewhere in the car, boot in an suv or front passenger seat. My reasoning being brakes fail, prams roll and with a car you could also accidentally accelerate or have a mechanical issue or in a dark car park the potential for another driver not to see the pram.

    I know they are unlikely but I feel like they would cause more harm to the baby than the capsule sliding around in the boot for a minute.

    I’ve had to move the car a couple of times before putting DD1 in ( she was out of capsule) and I’ve always opted to have her unrestrained in the car.
    Last edited by Mum-I-Am; 22-08-2019 at 03:25.

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