+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Worried about supporting myself

    Hi, i am 38 and dont live with my boyfriend. He has no job (losed it 2 weeks ago) and needs surgery. Also he lives with his Dad who needs his support. I live in a share house about 70 mins away. My job needs me to live in my current area.

    I am 6 weeks pregnant (scan was good) and i had a miscarriage at 8 weeks at the beginning of year. I feel so alone and scared about having to move to be with my boyfriend, what people will think (i am Christian) and i dont know i thing about having a baby or being a mother.

    Advice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    659
    Thanks
    494
    Thanked
    337
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm christian, I go to church every sunday with my son, some people judged me but most helped and supported me.
    I'm male so I don't know if the experience is different, but one way or the other you will be okay and will find a way.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mason98 For This Useful Post:

    Mod-Wise Enough (18-08-2019),SuperGranny (20-08-2019),Yogis Mumma (20-08-2019)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    1,277
    Thanks
    1,090
    Thanked
    654
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Once you book into a hospital, public I think is from 12 weeks on, speak to your midwife. There should be some sort of support for you, parenting classes and or groups or a support person even that you could access. In the mean time if you’re not booked into the hospital you could speak to your GP doctor.

    As for church, most non denominational churches are likely to be supportive of you despite the situation. Maybe you know of a female in the leadership of your church you could confide in? Preferably a mother? I was raised in church and still consider myself Christian, I know where you’re coming from.

    I hope your own family or close friends are able to support you as well during this time. It sounds as if you’re giving a lot of support to your boyfriend but you will need emotional support for yourself too.
    X

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Bluebirdgirl For This Useful Post:

    SuperGranny (20-08-2019)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    684
    Thanked
    763
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Well if you think about it Jesus was illegitimate, so anyone judging you needs to go re-read the Bible!
    Be brave be strong, do what works for you and your baby.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Rachel3072 For This Useful Post:

    Mason98 (18-08-2019),Mum-I-Am (18-08-2019)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    13,903
    Thanks
    9,597
    Thanked
    9,984
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I don't think they would be very good Christians if they weren't kind to you and if probably tell them that too.

    Having a baby always shows you who really cares anyway. Those that care will really be there for you. I also found having kids helped me make new friends.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    Mum-I-Am (19-08-2019)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    12,275
    Thanks
    8,371
    Thanked
    8,374
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    i assume your bf is the bio dad? have you told him about the pregnancy?

    i guess as others have said, those who truly care and are good people will reveal themselves in this time of need.
    assuming your bf is the father and intends on sticking around, he will need to get another job once he’s able to and move closer to you. if he intends on being with you and co parenting your baby with you, he might need to find alternative supports for his dad.

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    My bf is the father. He knows and is supportive as he can be. His dad has mental health and heart issues that are not bad enough to be on a support pension but he doesnt look after himself so my boyfriend needs to.

    It is worry: i am not sleeping well. Tried all the time. But no morning sickness thou. Sometimes i think i am not pregnant . Then i remember that there baby growing in me and it scaries me so much.

    I am met to give up my job and move closer to him because i cant stay at my share house with a baby.

    And the pain. Is it mean to hurt so much in my lower abdomen? I will talk to my dr about it tomorrow.

    Dont get me wrong. I love my bf and this little one but sometimes I feel like it would be better or happier without them.

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    12,275
    Thanks
    8,371
    Thanked
    8,374
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    sorry you find yourself conflicted. do you want this baby? it’s a perfectly valid choice if you don’t and choose to terminate. likewise, if it’s what you want then you’ll do what you need to make this work. i do agree a baby in a share house is not an option. what mental health issues does his dad have?

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    There is a heart beat therefore life so i cant have an abortion. But i cant go on like this. I keep thinking it would be good if i had a miscarriage. Some of my house mates (the females) know something is wrong with me. I am forgetting to do clean up and stuff. I am not my happy bubby self (direct quote).

    My bf dad has borderline personality disorder. Which is like stepping on egg shells.

    Thanks for the support.

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    12,275
    Thanks
    8,371
    Thanked
    8,374
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    what do you and your bf both do for work? it’s fine if you wish to keep the baby but it sounds as though you’re hoping for it to all disappear, in which case i question why a termination isn’t an option. certainly it’s easier than caring for an unexpected and unwanted child. your circumstances sound transient and unstable. moving into your bf’s house doesn’t sound possible due to the father’s mental health issues. your bf is prioritizing his father’s issues over the needs of his potential child. it all just sounds less than ideal. unless something drastic changes i would think on the decision a bit more. obviously it’s your call but i wouldn’t be keen to bring a baby into the world if my situation was so limited.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 30-06-2013, 15:21
  2. Worried about my birth support people....
    By MondayMonday in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 31-12-2011, 19:10
  3. Worried about myself
    By PrettiestInPink in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08-03-2010, 20:55
  4. Worried about not supporting her neck
    By Smitten in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-02-2010, 19:58
  5. How do I support a friend when Im not 100% about God myself?
    By spring in forum Religion / Spirituality
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 24-01-2008, 10:19

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Baby Car Seats and Infant Car RestraintsBuying a baby car seat? Check out our 'go-to' links here!
FORUMS - chatting now ...
TTC - Optimistic October 2019Conception & Fertility General Chat
Pram for Bub and doggie walksProduct Recommendations & Questions
Carpal TunnelGeneral Health
Teeth not coming in straightGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Dexamethasone til 9 weeks - safe?Reproductive Immunology
Weekend chat.General Chat