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  1. #11
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    If I was out on a boozy night with a childless friend, feeling like I was young again, then there's every chance after my 3rd tequila shot after I crawl off the dance floor that I might say something along the lines of "&$@% I miss this, if I had my time again blah blah blah".

    Then 3 minutes later I'd be crying into my watermelon daiquiri because DS loves watermelon and I miss him and I looooove my kids so much.

    Then another 5 minutes and I'd probably be rambling about some boy we went to school with who was really cute and I'm sure he liked her because she's so pretty (while she holds my hair back as I'm reviewing everything I ate and drank that night into the toilet).

    So yeah, if she takes her mum friends out on benders (the very rare ones we get) then 100% can see that she'd hear this plenty.

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  3. #12
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    My two oldest friends are both childless and we are mid 30s and I have three! It’s not entirely by their choice but they have both commented that seeing the reality of life with young kids isn’t exactly encouraging them to have kids. Perhaps they hear regret because they want to but also because I struggle to put into words how rewarding being a parent is, plus when one is getting divorced after years of go and fro and the other is married to a man who was talking about getting a vasectomy in his 20s and is still on the fence about whether he will ever want kids it is worlds away from my reality.

  4. #13
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    I think I’m one of those women.
    But I feel my situation is a bit different in that all of my 6 kids have behavioural problems and or asd/add. I’ve also had to do the majority of parenting alone and am now a single mother. As much as I love my kids had I known this was our future I wouldn’t have chosen it.
    I don’t think that makes me a bad person. All of us struggle daily with most times simple things.
    Also I feel such enormous responsibility that I didn’t really consider. Especially doing it alone.

    In short, having kids hasn’t been anywhere near what I imagined. I love my family but it’s restrictive and difficult.

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  6. #14
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    One of my closest friends is in her 30s and never wants kids. Honestly I look at her life and envy it she has no responsibility, is always travelling, has an amazing job. I don’t regret my kids but I regret the decisions I made in life. If I was smarter I would have made better choices in life so when I did have kids life would have been easier. I started being a parent 16 years ago, I’m tired and I’ve lost myself.

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  8. #15
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    I often chat to close friends about this. I always say that if I knew what I do now that I probably would’ve only had one child if any. If doesn’t mean I regret my children, not at all, they are my world. I guess for me if I could’ve seen into the future and saw me as a single parent with no respite, struggling mentally and financially along with three kids with extra needs, I would’ve stopped at one.

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  10. #16
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    I definitely don’t regret having kids, but I do enjoy it more as they get more independent. And I actually look forward to them growing up and moving out of home. Ultimately I think I would’ve regretted it more if I hadn’t had kids, especially as everyone my age started to get grandkids etc. I think old age would be pretty lonely without kids, which probably comes from my family having strong relationships between grandchildren and grandparents. And I have a great relationship now with my parents and I look forward to that with my kids once they’re adults.

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  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    I definitely don’t regret having kids, but I do enjoy it more as they get more independent. And I actually look forward to them growing up and moving out of home. Ultimately I think I would’ve regretted it more if I hadn’t had kids, especially as everyone my age started to get grandkids etc. I think old age would be pretty lonely without kids, which probably comes from my family having strong relationships between grandchildren and grandparents. And I have a great relationship now with my parents and I look forward to that with my kids once they’re adults.
    This is what I always felt and why I wanted a family because I was close with my aunt and uncles, grandmother and cousins as a child. But what I’ve found is that we didn’t stay close as we grew up and on both sides of my family cousins are estranged from their mother.
    I feel like my ideals have been crushed. My kids and I are close now and I hope we always will be but I can’t help but wonder about that sort of thing.

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  14. #18
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    If I had my time again.... id maybe have started a year or two earlier and had smaller age gaps!

    I certainly don't regret them, I wouldn't be without them. I love being a mum (as hard as it is)and always wanted to have children.

    But, nothing really changed for me by having children... except sleep. I miss sleep
    I wasn't a party type, we didn't really go out, and I worked in childcare. So the only thing that really changed is the children I look after all day are my own.... and instead of them going home at night, they stay with me

  15. #19
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    It took many many years of trying before we ended up with DD. We were seriously considering a life without kids. We were looking for positives of no kids and were happy to take on peoples negative ‘if I had my time again’ stories.

    Perhaps people have told her they wish they didn’t have kids, but in her situation you hang onto those stories and ignore the ones where they wouldn’t be without them.

    Also when you are in the thick of difficult parenting it’s easy to wish for something different and no doubt many have expressed those frustrations, however as an overall I don’t think many people really wish they hadn’t had children.

  16. #20
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    Personally I believe extremely selfish people should never have children. So if she wants to be childless by choice, good on her. Dont whinge about my children though, or complain about other people having children, or that some of your taxes help families, because those "other people's kids" are the ones who will be looking after your angry old **** when you are old.

    It is those who are childless NOT by choice for whom my heart breaks.

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