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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    just on this - i think if you have bigger, long term goals, it makes sense to (or it makes achieving the goals) much easier. sure for bits and pieces here and there, who cares. but if you want to really join forces and achieve a financial goal, it just makes sense to pool your resources. dh earns more than i do, but he’s a bit spendy plus has no clue on investing beyond just savings. yes i bring less cheddar to the table, but i have the skills and knowledge of how to manage money, how to invest it, tax knowledge etc. so together we are stronger than if we were going about things separately.

    together we’ve built a share portfolio and our next goal is an investment property. preferably in our own names but most likely in a smsf. which will require our super to be pooled.

    i struggle to see how kicking bigger financial goals is achievable when finances are separated.
    I think it’s important to work together and one party not assume they have more say because they earn more, but I guess that could by achieved with separate bank accounts. DH and I used to have separate accounts and it worked ok, but have been easier with joint accounts. As for present shopping, I use cash if buying in person or use my paypal account if buying online.

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    turquoisecoast (11-08-2019)

  3. #52
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    We have a joint account. And separate accounts in our name.

    We always had separate finances until we had a mortgage. The joint account is an offset account so it makes financial sense for us to have the majority of funds in the offset. I have no idea what he puts in his personal account and I don't really care what he spends it on.

    It works for us.

  4. #53
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    We are a blended family, I have 2 children from previous marriage, and hubby and I have a 7mo. We have lived together for 2.5 yrs and been married for 1.5yrs. Since we moved in together (we bought a house) everything has been joint. He earned more money the first year, then started a business and didn’t draw a wage for the first 12 months. During this time I bumped up my hours at work to help and worked as much as I could. Now I’m down to 3-4 days / wk with bub in my care and hubby works his butt off. We both spend whatever we need to, whenever we need to, and there is never any I earn/you earn/I spent/you spent. We are a team. I don’t feel financially dependent as I work and earn my own money, receive child support also, all of which goes into joint offset account and is “our money” but I’ve never felt like I’ve lost my financial independence with this man (my ex-husband very different story)

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    Starfish30 (11-08-2019)

  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluerhino View Post
    I’ve never felt like I’ve lost my financial independence with this man (my ex-husband very different story)
    I think you've hit the nail on the head in a way. I've seen (now in their 60s/70s) couples with everything combined and alshi those with everything separate for decades of marriage. I've seen both arrangements exist within a relationship where finances are about power and yet another symtpom of an unequal relationship. My mum for one had complete access to every account and cent that my dad and her had in their joint accounts, my dad had no separate accounts with money she couldn't access, but my dad had 100% control - control is psychological and has little to do with the actual/potential of a circumstance.

    Independence within my marriage (to me) has very little to do with finances, but I could see that if I was with the wrong man I would feel quite vulnerable not having 'my own' money.

    As I said earlier, DH and I aren't entirely on the same page when it comes to attitudes on earning money, him being a workaholic and me choosing to consciously opt out of living only for work/money, but we have openness, trust and agreed common goals that mean we can have completely combined finances.

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    AdornedWithCats (11-08-2019),babyno1onboard (11-08-2019),SSecret Squirrel (11-08-2019)

  8. #55
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    I think it's whatever works for a couple. I know a lot of couple back in my country where the husband gives all of their salary to the wife and just leaves something for his daily expenses. The wife then manages both pooled money, since most wives there are better in budgeting and organizing. No arguments, every major decisions done together.
    With me and my husband it has always worked from the start that we joined our money together. I was dependent on him for a few years when i didn't have rights to work yet, never heard a thing from him when i do shopping. Then a problem came up from ATO that he had unresolved payments from his previous business 3 years before we got together, we both saved and paid for it together (took us 6 mos) , i didn't complain because i know we needed a clear record from ATO so we can get a home loan. Now with joint credit card and joint savings, we monitor all expenses and tell each other when we want to purchase something personal. We are both sensible although there are lapses. He did a big night out with friends when our budget was very tight, i got a little upset but bought myself a nice purse when we recovered, o everything ok. LOL


 

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