When does one sleep

[Tdez]

Thanks heaps for all the advise, you’re absolutely right, I’m making life hard by cooking every day, I had great intentions of being completely organised with meals and prep but I just never get to doing a big cook up, but I’m going to get on top of that, I like the idea of big lunch light dinner so I’ll try and adopt that.

I did consider dropping naps, but master 3 is awful without a nap, I skip them sometimes in an attempt to wean but on those days he is so tired and stroppy and we still have the same issues at night, I mean he is actually tired but he wants me in there all the time, this is all new, for real he was sleeping normal then we had a bad windy night and he got scared and that was around the same time baby came home and it’s never been the same, he just wants someone in there with him reading books and singing songs. He would also happily fall asleep on the couch but all of this is really inconvenient, But alas I make it work, I do agree naps are on the way out, but not ready to go just yet.

Baby loves a bath, I do baths mostly just to get him used to water and the feeling of it, not to wash but only once a week when master 3 is at daycare, he goes twice a week and I do pretty much nothing but rest on those days.

Hopefully fifo will be over soon, we never wanted to do this when we had kids but things didn’t always go according to plan.

Thanks again for the advice, I’ll keep at it and just do my best. Xx

[turquoisecoast]

i’d up the daycare days, add another day and get the cooking out the way on that day.

i actually think the crappy sleep is just a feature of the age (3) because ds is 3 and the same and my mother’s group are saying the same with their 3 year olds. alas it’s a tough age.

[BigRedV]

skip the bath. babies do not need to be bathed every day. realistically, until they start daycare, they’re not getting dirty. i give dd regular wipe downs with a damp cloth but only bother with a bath if she’s had an epic nappy explosion and is way past a wipe down.

i think people make their lives harder than they need to be bathing babies every day. a girl in my mother’s group (whose hubby works late every single night) complains how hard her evening is constantly so i suggested skipping baby baths. stubbornly she ignores the advice. oh well, do as you please but don’t whinge that your life is hard.

Of course they don’t need it. I don’t find bathing a baby hard. I didn’t use soap or anything but I found it wore them out. I just placed them in the warm water for a bit of a play. I found it worked wonders for making them tired, giving me a really long stint of sleep for the first part of the night after a good feed before bed. Mine were overall pretty good sleepers. Plus the olde ones loved having their baby brother or sister in the bath with them.

[PinkPopsicle]

To be honest I think a 3 year old who isn’t going to sleep at night doesn’t need a nap anymore. Well certainly not one every day. He’s probably taking ages to sleep because he’s just not tired. Perhaps trial a bit of quiet time instead of a nap and put him to bed a little earlier at night.

Maybe also put the baby in bed with you if they will sleep in your arms at night. It’s not too early for a bedtime routine. I don’t mean times but evening ritual of bath, feed, cuddle, bed.

^^^this.
try bringing toddler bedtime forwards by an hour or more as sounds like isnt tired enough at bedtime. bring the whole routine forward by 2 hours ie if dinners at 5pm then make it at 3pm then bath and quiet time and bed by 5ish. close the blinds etc. then after awhile stretch the time back out again.
bulk cook and freeze while hubbys home so just need to defrost and heat for rhose tough days.
and do you have any help and support? ie a mum or sister, daycare etc?

[PinkPopsicle]

Thanks heaps for all the advise, you’re absolutely right, I’m making life hard by cooking every day, I had great intentions of being completely organised with meals and prep but I just never get to doing a big cook up, but I’m going to get on top of that, I like the idea of big lunch light dinner so I’ll try and adopt that.

I did consider dropping naps, but master 3 is awful without a nap, I skip them sometimes in an attempt to wean but on those days he is so tired and stroppy and we still have the same issues at night, I mean he is actually tired but he wants me in there all the time, this is all new, for real he was sleeping normal then we had a bad windy night and he got scared and that was around the same time baby came home and it’s never been the same, he just wants someone in there with him reading books and singing songs. He would also happily fall asleep on the couch but all of this is really inconvenient, But alas I make it work, I do agree naps are on the way out, but not ready to go just yet.

Baby loves a bath, I do baths mostly just to get him used to water and the feeling of it, not to wash but only once a week when master 3 is at daycare, he goes twice a week and I do pretty much nothing but rest on those days.

Hopefully fifo will be over soon, we never wanted to do this when we had kids but things didn’t always go according to plan.

Thanks again for the advice, I’ll keep at it and just do my best. Xx

we still have to stay with our almost 4yr old DS until he's asleep. put bub in baby carrier and just set a limit of how many songs/stories etc and then say thats enough I'll stay with you its ok you can go to sleep ill be here.
with our DS its far quicker to just stay with him than to fight with him. its meeting his emotional needs too. Ive had to do it with bub while breastfeeding etc

[Tdez]

If you saw my guy in the bath you wouldn’t want to put a baby in there! Hahahaha he likes to make waves!

I am going to try using Timmy time more at night, that seems to tire the little guy out.

I have talked to the husband about increasing daycare days but we agreed to keep it at 2 for now, he does swimming and kindergym during the week so it’s starts to add up in the bank and we have just bought a house so paying two mortgages (own my parents) and car loans and all the other life stuff.

My mum is going to cook a few meals a week to freeze and I have sisters willing to help over weekends. My mum can come and sit with the baby during the week but she has physical disabilities that restrict what she can do, like she wouldn’t be able to do bath and bed time with the toddler.

[turquoisecoast]

Of course they don’t need it. I don’t find bathing a baby hard. I didn’t use soap or anything but I found it wore them out. I just placed them in the warm water for a bit of a play. I found it worked wonders for making them tired, giving me a really long stint of sleep for the first part of the night after a good feed before bed. Mine were overall pretty good sleepers. Plus the olde ones loved having their baby brother or sister in the bath with them.

it’s not hard, but i’m saying for something that’s not completely necessary, it can be another thing to do for someone who’s already struggling, time poor and on their own. the OP asked when does one sleep; i’m offering shortcuts to try and claw back some precious time, which could either be spent resting or on more critical tasks.

[BigRedV]

it’s not hard, but i’m saying for something that’s not completely necessary, it can be another thing to do for someone who’s already struggling, time poor and on their own. the OP asked when does one sleep; i’m offering shortcuts to try and claw back some precious time, which could either be spent resting or on more critical tasks.

She’s also tired because the baby is not sleeping in the bassinet at night so I suggested a bath to tire them out and then maybe the baby will sleep better in the evening time.

[BigRedV]

Also the transition to no nap is a killer. It’s hell for a while until they adjust. They will be exhausted. Once you’ve put him to bed, tell him you’ll come back in 5 mins. Then when you go back, tell him you’ll be back in another 5 mins.

[Mod-Wise Enough]

Yes dropping the nap is hard work. It takes a couple of weeks for them to adjust to it. They’re horrible weeks but they do learn.

I would drop the nap, do simple dinners, and plan some outside fun time for when you know he will be grumpy. I used to stick my toddler into bed next to me for quiet time instead of a nap, and I could doze while the baby slept. She only ever slept for 40 minutes though so it wasn’t long!