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  1. #1
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    Default 'high needs' babies

    After observing her for the past couple of months, our GP has said my 8 month old is what you would call 'high needs' - more energy, more demanding, less predictable, more curious and feisty and less able to adapt to different environments etc. To date, she has never been able to sleep in a car seat, pram or in any environment that isn't her own which has limited my ability to do much outside of the house unless it strictly falls within her 'good' hours - and even then, the stimulation from being in a mall or any new place will set us back.

    She doesn't take kindly to other caregivers even when they are well known to her (but will oddly sometimes just 'take' to a random stranger - she reached her arms out to a tradie working outside our front yard and is enamoured with my mother in laws neighbour).

    Her feeding routine is also very unpredictable (she wants to graze all day) - this has always been the case.

    Long story short - she's a handful and I'm a zombie. Just wanted to know if there are any tips/tricks/words of wisdom from other parents who have or have had similar bubs??

    Do they eventually grow out of it? Or is there a long road ahead as she enters toddlerhood?

  2. #2
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    I had a high needs baby who is now a high needs toddler. My DD has always been extremely active, easily overwhelmed and over stimulated, strong willed etc. as a young baby it manifested as an infant who didn’t sleep during the day except in 10 minute bursts and was always overtired and screaming, as an older baby she used to cry for hours on end (like 4 hours plus continuously) daily, and now as a toddler we struggle with meltdowns and defiance and tantrums and running away. She always seems exhausted. She also seems a bit younger in terms of her emotional maturity, speech and comprehension than her peers. I’m the parent who constantly has to leave things early with a child in meltdown mode. Even little outings have become exhausting.

    It is exhausting and but I am beginning to accept that she is just not like my very laid back boys, and that’s ok. I have learned that she needs routine and stability. She needs a lot of reassurance and cuddles to feel safe. Although she is high needs she is the most beautiful loving little girl, I just need to find ways to work with her and her needs rather than against her.

    I wish I had some advice but to be honest I’m just winging it and using trial and error to find out what helps her. This is just my experience too, I have known others with very ‘difficult’ babies but ‘easy’ toddlers or vice versa. Good luck!

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    Elevatormusic (20-07-2019)

  4. #3
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    my #3 is/was that baby and child. its so emotionally exhausting. only advice is to utilise your support networks, know your limits and also consider food intolerances as being a cause for some of the behaviours.

    i wing it everyday and work has been my escape to save my sanity

  5. #4
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    Every child is different so while I’ve had high needs babies and toddlers I can’t say that you will experience what I have.
    Mainly because for me it hasn’t turned out to be a phase rather it has turned out to be autism.

    I do hope this isn’t the case for you and that she does outgrow it. If it continues until she’s around 18 months to 2 I would be looking into to it though.
    For various reasons I didn’t have access to early intervention and I will never know how things could have been different with support much earlier.
    Even for a child who doesn’t have autism but may have sensory issues or emotional issues early help is definitely a good idea.

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    Elevatormusic (20-07-2019)

  7. #5
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    I've always automatically kind of 'watched' for ASD behaviours (difficult with babies) but I've observed her responses to my facial expressions, eye contact, mimicking etc. So far it appears typical.

    For now, I just have to manage the 'draining' aspect of parenting her since most days, I'm so wiped out it feels like I'm on the verge of having the flu 24/7.

    My MIL offers to look after her every so often but she panics and ends up calling me 50 times because bub will cry and be unsettled constantly (different environment/caregiver). She's had 3 kids of her own and 4 other grandchildren but I think mine has her stumped 😑

    We go to a paediatrician soon for a check up just to make sure there's not something physically wrong I might be missing.

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    I feel for you honestly.
    I’m not being a scare monger but asd with girls is different and for my boys even I have found the generalisation of what asd kids do to be very far off.
    Both my sons had excellent eye contact and loved to be held. Language delay was the first sign with my second son. I actually knew from birth something was up with my first he was just so so difficult.

    I’m not saying your daughter has asd but yeh just that it irritates me some doctors still hold to these what seem like 1940s beliefs on what an asd kid should act like.

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    She never stops. It took 3 hours to put her down for a nap today. I just let her go for it and after 3 hours of constant moving, she went into what I can only describe as a hallucination state (she was 'dream' eating - eyes open, but not really awake. She reached out for invisible food, inspected it, put it in her mouth and chewed). After 10 minutes of dream eating, she passed out, finally 😂😭


 

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