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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by crunchymumma View Post
    Thanks so much for your reply!
    Congratulations on your newest addition, I’m glad he was born well although early.

    It’s so difficult not being home immediately! My 1st was in NICU for over a month and wasn’t expected to come home. Then I had serious issues with #2. Despite the issues 3rd time around it was very much a positive experience and I’m so glad as my first 2 children were old enough to know if something was wrong.

    I would be delivering 3hrs from home and they would have me in hospital for 6-7 days pending everything was well.
    So many little things that I’m really considering. I don’t think I’d be thinking on them so much if it wasn’t my 4th.

    Have you found any troubles having older kids and then much younger kids, with your oldest getting to those pre teen years?

    Space in the house and car are really minor issues, but I guess have just made their way onto a long list haha.

    I’ve only returned to work the past 6m and the past close to 10y I have been a SAHM. My oldest son health didn’t allow me to work until recently and I have really enjoyed going back - although Mum guilt for #3 has been huge, it’s so lovely being at home those early years!

    I think I’m really cautious this time round as I have 3 children already and I don’t want to ruin our families balance and create chaos - I don’t know why I think 4 would create that. It’s just a concern.
    I think everyone has that concern at some point, whether it’s going from 1-2 or 9-10!

    For the most part, all our kids have an amazing relationship. Yeah they fight, but what siblings don’t? Their relationship dynamics are constantly changing- one day the oldest 2 will be best mates and spend every waking moment together, the next it’s the oldest and middle or something. They all have a unique relationship with each other and then as a group. There are some conflicts between the oldest and our 3rd (she’s 7)- 7 year old idolises the oldest and wants to copy everything she does but oldest gets annoyed with little sister hanging around especially when she has friends over. But they are also extremely close too and will play together for hours. I think it really depends on the individual child’s personality really. For all the arguments they have, I have also witnessed that as soon as it’s needed, they are the first to have each other’s backs.

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    crunchymumma (15-07-2019)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by crunchymumma View Post
    I think I’m really cautious this time round as I have 3 children already and I don’t want to ruin our families balance and create chaos - I don’t know why I think 4 would create that. It’s just a concern.
    Just on this point, and of course keeping in mind every family is different and what works for them, however, I find having four a very good balance. My two older ones love to hang out together (especially if what they're doing isn't for younger ones) as do the two younger ones together, especially when playing. When we travelled overseas last year, all four were able to be seated together (in their own row) and DH and I were seated together (beside them) in our own seats and when we were getting around, it was easier when they were walking in pairs.
    Yes, there can be logistical considerations that having more than 3 can bring, however for us, it was a case of needing a bigger car anyway as we needed the anchor points when we had 4 kids under 5 years. It's actually proven to be a good thing having an 8 seater, as we can give lifts to other kids as well as have our own kids in the car and also pick up the grandparents from the Airport altogether. We have a five bedroom home, but the two younger ones requested to share a room and they love it. We have asked them many times if they wanted their own room, but they insist on sharing.

    Pre-teen wise, we haven't encountered anything different with the little ones. Our nearly 13 year old is very mindful that she has younger sisters and understands what is appropriate to discuss/watch/etc for a tween, may not be so for her 10, 8 and 7 year old sisters. Apart from normal sibling rivalry/bickering, there are no issues form the older ones with younger ones that aren't normal family dynamics.

    I think once you have more than one child you're routine focused anyway, so adding another child for us wasn't chaotic, challenging sometimes, yes, but chaotic no. I also think if we sit down and analyse the 'what-ifs' and the negatives, it's always going to seem easy to talk yourself out of another child, but again, only you know your families considerations and dynamics.
    As I said, what one family deems do-able may seem chaotic to another!

    Eta: I had a PPH and blood transfusions with baby number 3, so I definitely understand your concerns there. xx

    All the best!
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 16-07-2019 at 12:20.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Uniquey View Post
    Just on this point, and of course keeping in mind every family is different and what works for them, however, I find having four a very good balance. My two older ones love to hang out together (especially if what they're doing isn't for younger ones) as do the two younger ones together, especially when playing. When we travelled overseas last year, all four were able to be seated together (in their own row) and DH and I were seated together (beside them) in our own seats and when we were getting around, it was easier when they were walking in pairs.
    Yes, there can be logistical considerations that having more than 3 can bring, however for us, it was a case of needing a bigger car anyway as we needed the anchor points when we had 4 kids under 5 years. It's actually proven to be a good thing having an 8 seater, as we can give lifts to other kids as well as have our own kids in the car and also pick up the grandparents from the Airport altogether. We have a five bedroom home, but the two younger ones requested to share a room and they love it. We have asked them many times if they wanted their own room, but they insist on sharing.

    Pre-teen wise, we haven't encountered anything different with the little ones. Our nearly 13 year old is very mindful that she has younger sisters and understands what is appropriate to discuss/watch/etc for a tween, may not be so for her 10, 8 and 7 year old sisters. Apart from normal sibling rivalry/bickering, there are no issues form the older ones with younger ones that aren't normal family dynamics.

    I think once you have more than one child you're routine focused anyway, so adding another child for us wasn't chaotic, challenging sometimes, yes, but chaotic no. I also think if we sit down and analyse the 'what-ifs' and the negatives, it's always going to seem easy to talk yourself out of another child, but again, only you know your families considerations and dynamics.
    As I said, what one family deems do-able may seem chaotic to another!

    Eta: I had a PPH and blood transfusions with baby number 3, so I definitely understand your concerns there. xx

    All the best!
    Agree 100% with this! A lot of people comment how “together” I am with so many kids, but to those who know us well they (and we) know that it’s chaos and madness! Wouldn’t change it for the world though.

  5. #14
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    Hello,
    Im a mumma to 4 kids DS13, DD11, DS9, DD5 and we are TTC#5. the stigma we get is mainly, are we religious, tv comments... just snide remarks, but i have always told people that they arent raising or paying for my kids so their opinions dont matter. both my DH and I only come 2 kid families. we love having out larger then normal family. our 4 kids are great yes they have their moments of fighting and that, all their extra curricular activities keep me busy plus i also work casually as a teacher's aide. Organisation is key though.
    Both my girls share a room and both my boys share a room, we have a spare room and a study that can be a bedroom, but all the kids want to share.

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    crunchymumma (01-10-2019)

  7. #15
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    Thanks to everyone who has commented.
    We have increased our PHI a while back in case we decided to go ahead.
    We are looking at a car upgrade currently.
    I think we might just go ahead

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by crunchymumma View Post
    Thanks to everyone who has commented.
    We have increased our PHI a while back in case we decided to go ahead.
    We are looking at a car upgrade currently.
    I think we might just go ahead
    Good luck with it all! I’m sure everything will work out for you.

  9. #17
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    I have way more than 4 children. There isn't a social stigma with 4, 4 is barely even a large family. It is only 1 more than the 'norm'. The only thing you might encounter is people thinking number 4 was a whoops. The only real drama in having 4 is needing a bigger car. I think if standard cars came with 4 seats in the back then most families would have 4.
    Personally I think go for it. You only regret the child you dont have... plus odd numbers have never made sense to me. With 3 there is always one left out, plus middle child syndrome.

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