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  1. #1
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    Default When you visit a loved one in a nursing home? Question.

    Hi for those of us who have loved one's in a nursing home, I have a question.

    My late mother was in a nursing home for about four months.


    I would often visit her in the room. She rarely came out of the room..maybe for a meal or two but would care to spend her time in her room.

    I know a lady who is in a nursing home. Her son posted (on FB)it was her birthday some months back. I asked him what nursing home she was in so I could send her a gift.

    I was a little late sending the gift but I sent her a teddy bear(beautiful soft pink teddy bear).

    He never said anything about it so I sent him a message(two months are sending it to see if it arrived ok).

    BTW, he is a part-time chaplain in the nursing home.

    He said, "Oh, I will have to check as I never go into my mother's room. I only visit her and see her in the lounge room.

    I find that really strange. How would he know if she needs things in her room?
    I had to see my mother had everything..even though she was in care, it was important to me that her room was ok and that she had enough toileteries, etc.

    I just find this really odd.
    He never got back to me so he must not have checked.

    I mean, it's good he does visit her(well, I hope he does) he is a chaplain but for those of us who had a parent or grandparent, did you ever go into their room or just see them in the lounge room?

    Or, his wife, at least would go into her room?

    Or, is it just me?
    Last edited by Gumnut222; 09-07-2019 at 14:39. Reason: punctuation

  2. #2
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    I guess it depends on the level of care she requires. When I would visit my nan there was many residents who seemed to always be in common areas and most often had visitors with them.

    I also couldn’t have told you if she needed soap or more barley sugars because it wasn’t ‘my job’. I always preferred being in the common areas with her as the room was pokey and I didn’t like it.

  3. #3
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    To me that’s weird. My late granny was in a nursing home for 18 months until she passed. She was 95. I used to visit her every Friday morning with Ds1. We alwAys went into her room to make sure she didn’t need anything or if she wanted anything washed (my mum did her washing as she was picky). I’d also have clean washing to put away for her from my mums visit on the Wednesday and if she had requested some yummies from coles I’d put them in her little fridge. Even when she was moved to high care before she passed I still went in her room

  4. #4
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    Whenever I visited my Nanna and Pop I always visited them in their room. I didn’t go all that often though as they lived interstate. When they were both alive, they were in a shared room in the nursing home with their own bathroom and a little “lounge area” for their recliners and a TV. They also had a little kitchenette with bar fridge and kettle so they could have snacks and make cups of tea/coffee as they pleased. They used to go out to the main dining area for meals and to the communal living areas when they felt like socializing. After Nanna died, pop stayed in the same room until he died. He became more of a hermit though and had his meals delivered to his room, as he missed Nanna and didn’t want to socialise.

  5. #5
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    My grandmother 101 is in a nursing home. When we visit we either see her in her room or in the communal outdoor area to have lunch outside. Even if we did that we always go to her room before and after. Luckily her room is quite spacious so there’s enough room for 3-4 people. My mum definitely always checks on what she needs etc and I do to a lesser extent. I know where everything is kept in her room though.
    Last edited by bezzy; 09-07-2019 at 18:57. Reason: Typo

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    Does she have other visitors? Perhaps they do the ‘housekeeping’?

    Everyone has different relationships. He may not feel comfortable in her room, she might prefer to be in a bigger room. Before my dad passed he never really liked having people around his bed. When people visit you at home they don’t usually sit on your bedroom, so some people prefer to entertain in a more lounge space.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-DJ Nette For This Useful Post:

    Mod-Wise Enough (09-07-2019),Mum-I-Am (10-07-2019)

  8. #7
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    It might depend on the time of day he can come to visit. If he comes at say 11 oclock the residents might usually be in the lounge but if he comes at 6 in the evening they might be in their rooms. If she does not have any mental deterioration and shes happy that sounds fine to me.
    If the person has any dementia or other memory loss I think thats when you have to be more careful to keep close tabs on their room etc.


 

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