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  1. #11
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    @Tainted I would caution against making a DOCS report until you have discussed your options with a professional eg lawyer / 1800 RESPECT / Domestic Violence service in your town. Ask them about making a DOCS report and see what they think.

    It's my understanding that parents making reports against the other parent can be viewed as aggressive behaviour and can work against you if you do wind up in court A report from a mandatory reporter is different because they are third parties and their reports are made without bias.

    I'm not an expert and am basing my views on conversations with a friend who was in a similar position to you. She was advised by multiple professionals not to make reports to DOCS as it may be viewed as aggressive and vindictive behaviour if she wound up in court over custody.

    I think that withholding access while your ex is unstable and putting the children in unsafe situations is probably the most effective action you can take to keep your kids safe at the moment, however you are best placed to know what is right for your family.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 10-07-2019 at 19:30.

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    Tainted (10-07-2019)

  3. #12
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    Thanks everyone for offering your advice and experiences. I have an appointment with my GP and a counsellor I've seen since the death of my daughter, I will discuss my concerns with both and see who they recommend talking to.

    I am also a mandatory reporter, a teacher, and if one of my students disclosed what I've mentioned I would have made a report. I guess my main concern is making things worse.

    Fortunately it is school holidays at the moment and shortly after school returns my parents will be back in the country. At that time I will be making an appointment with a lawyer to discuss the next steps.

    Unfortunately until my parents return I will need to rely on him in the morning for roughly an hour between when I leave for work and when he drops the kids at school and childcare. I will certainly be checking for a car seat on my way out each morning.

    Thanks again for taking the time to respond, this is not a situation I had imagined my children or myself having to deal with.

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    SSecret Squirrel (10-07-2019)

  5. #13
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    can you get a babysitter or au pair/nanny type person to do the school run when you need to get to work early?

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    Tainted (10-07-2019)

  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    can you get a babysitter or au pair/nanny type person to do the school run when you need to get to work early?
    That's something I've been looking into as well as before school care. Thanks for the suggestion

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    turquoisecoast (10-07-2019)

  9. #15
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    It sounds like you’re taking all the right steps and it really goes to show it can and does happen to anyone.

    Look after yourself, and maybe just jot incidences of worrying behaviour down in a diary, save any communications and document what you’ve been doing to mitigate? Maybe even send an email to you parents organising before school care for when they return so you have evidence you were working on a solution?

    Also if your kids have been exposed to the cutting etc, can you work to get them an appointment with a child counsellor to check in with them and also show you were always working in the best interest of the kids?

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    Tainted (11-07-2019)


 

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