Hi all

Sorry for the long post but hoping for some advice, or some good news stories from those who have been through the same thing!

We put my just turned 3 year old DD into underpants about a week ago. She'd never shown a real interest in using the toilet but recently got excited about wearing undies, so is the reason why she has trained a bit late. I didn't want to rush her when she didn't seem overly motivated.

We used pull ups for about 6 months prior, and got her into the routine of doing wees in the morning and at various intervals throughout the day and before bed. I think we struggled to find something motivating enough for her to really want to do this, and initiate telling us when she needed to go. But since switching to undies keeping them dry has been motivating enough, she is so extremely proud and has had only a handful of wee accidents since we started.

We are however, struggling massively with poos, and I'm not sure if I am jumping the gun given we are really only a little bit over a week in. It is obvious DD is trying to hold her poos in, but instead we are getting multiple, tiny poo accidents a day. Today was particularly trying and I am wondering whether I've pushed it too early. I have offered DD a pull up to poo, but she refuses and says she wears undies now. She is still wearing a pull up for naps and bed time, but now won't even do it in her pull up when we pop one on at night.

I guess it is frustrating but doesn't bother me too much. I will change those pooey undies all day long, but she goes to daycare 3 days a week and all they have said is they think she is scared to poo in their toilets, but one particular carer seemed annoyed by the poo accidents. I feel bad for them and pondered whether she should go back into pull ups, but her progress on wees has been so promising that I don't want to do that. I guess I feel bad for her carers more than anything.

DD herself recognises when she has an accident and will say something like, "I had a little accident, but poos go in the toilet, I don't want to get my undies dirty" and is pretty chuffed when we do manage to get one in there, but I'm at a loss as to how to actually solve the holding issue and small accidents. She has said the reason she does it is because she is scared the poo will touch her legs, which has stemmed from poo from her undies getting on her legs once, but she seems to now associate that whole experience with pooing in general. And of course the risk of getting poo on her legs is far worse if she has an accident but she doesn't understand that.

Has anyone else been through this? What has helped? Should we just stick it out? As said I am reluctant to put her back in pull ups but I am worried daycare is going to suggest it if we can't sort it soon.