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    Default Poo problems in 3.5 and 5yo. Help please

    Poo problems advice please

    Poo shouldn’t be this stressful. We have two issues here.
    DD (5yo) is often constipated and isn’t a regular poo-er. After a pattern of this and complaints of occasional cramps, the GP suggested using a stool softener daily for a couple of months and then ween her off of it. She reassured us that it’s common in young kids as they’re busy/lazy and would rather do other things as well as their body just developing etc. Despite giving her the softener, she still doesn’t always go daily. We have to motivate her. It’s getting harder and stressful for everyone. We haven’t even started slowing down the softener yet. I feel the more stress we create the worse it’s probably getting and same with the more medical it gets too with drs etc. What can I do? She eats fruit and raw veg daily, drinks nothing but water and rarely refined snacks. I’m just lost. She is sometimes treat motivated but I don’t know whether to keep this up or not. It also gets harder to think of new things.

    The other poo issue is DS1 (3.5) He is terrified of pooing in the toilet and will only poo in a pull up. Again, getting stressful especially as he’s about to hit 4 (in a few weeks). He is in no way motivated by reward or praise. Nothing. Won’t try a potty. Easily wees on the toilet independently and is otherwise in undies. He gets so stressed, cries and panics or screams when we try and encourage it. Again, I’m worried the more stressful this is, the worse it gets. I see no end in sight. As he nears 4, we get so many suggestions and different advice and opinions of what he should be doing “by now” which is making it harder. Help. I want to cry.

    Poo shouldn’t be this stressful what am I doing wrong?

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    Quote Originally Posted by HubbleBubble View Post
    Poo problems advice please

    Poo shouldn’t be this stressful. We have two issues here.
    DD (5yo) is often constipated and isn’t a regular poo-er. After a pattern of this and complaints of occasional cramps, the GP suggested using a stool softener daily for a couple of months and then ween her off of it. She reassured us that it’s common in young kids as they’re busy/lazy and would rather do other things as well as their body just developing etc. Despite giving her the softener, she still doesn’t always go daily. We have to motivate her. It’s getting harder and stressful for everyone. We haven’t even started slowing down the softener yet. I feel the more stress we create the worse it’s probably getting and same with the more medical it gets too with drs etc. What can I do? She eats fruit and raw veg daily, drinks nothing but water and rarely refined snacks. I’m just lost. She is sometimes treat motivated but I don’t know whether to keep this up or not. It also gets harder to think of new things.

    The other poo issue is DS1 (3.5) He is terrified of pooing in the toilet and will only poo in a pull up. Again, getting stressful especially as he’s about to hit 4 (in a few weeks). He is in no way motivated by reward or praise. Nothing. Won’t try a potty. Easily wees on the toilet independently and is otherwise in undies. He gets so stressed, cries and panics or screams when we try and encourage it. Again, I’m worried the more stressful this is, the worse it gets. I see no end in sight. As he nears 4, we get so many suggestions and different advice and opinions of what he should be doing “by now” which is making it harder. Help. I want to cry.

    Poo shouldn’t be this stressful what am I doing wrong?
    Hi Hubble

    I can’t help with the constipation, but with the fear of toilet, have you tried reading your 4yo books about the toilet?

    https://www.ohcrappottytrainingmetoy...red-about-poop

    Also, can you use a reward chart, gradually increasing the activity’s? He gets a reward (chocolate or sticker) the first day if he goes into the bathroom and sits near the toilet for a minute. Then the second day he gets his reward if he sits on the toilet with the seat down and clothes on for one minute. Then third day seat up, etc, etc, at a pace he is okay with. gradual exposure, combined with rewards, is effective for reducing fears of things in my experience

    Good luck!

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    Hi, i have no personal experience as we're still in the nappy stage but just thought id throw a few suggestions so you could try anything and everything...

    Metamucil is really helpful for constipation. Its natural amd mild, not a drug or laxative. Takes a 2-3 days to start working/make a difference. Iys yummy sweet orange flavoured too so maybe dd could try having a glass a day in the morning. Maybe just a teaspoon in a big glass of water as she's not an adult.

    With my dd, she has a potty opposote the real toilet and as she's only 18 months ive just always had it in the toilet so she's used to it and whenever i go to the toilet i take her with me and she just sits on the potty, fully clothed and we chat about going to the toilet. Im just trying to familiarise her with toilet stuff well in advance. Would he maybe just sit on the potty in his nappy/clothes and start using it just like a seat as a start? DD "brushes" her teeth or tries to brush her hair while she sits there.
    And i let her unroll and tear off toilet paper and she copies and pretends to wipe and she hands me toilet paper and then just before i flush, i say "ready" so she's not scared of the flush noise and then she likes to out the toilet seat down. I know these things arent really potty training as such but they are just things im trying so she's used to and not scared of the potty and toilet. Maybe just start8ng real slow woth stuff like this and not actually mentioning or encouraging him to try to use the potty might be a way to get him over the fear of the toilet or potty before actually using it.
    Im sorry this must be stressful for you... I do hope others with more experience might be able to help.
    The metamucil is the go though, can definitely vouch for it!

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    Oh and totally ignore the "should be doing by now-ers". They dont know your kids or you. All kids are different and you know them best. They all do stuff at difderent times and it's no one elses business. I dont think youre doing anything wrong. There is no right or wrong. Just a bunch of mums, dealing with stuff as it arises and trying all the things until we find something that works for us and our families.
    Oh and ive talked to friends who were struggling with potty training and trying everything and mist of them said one day it just clicked and their kids just did it without using any if the strategies they were trying so maybe he just needs more time?

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    Default Poo problems in 3.5 and 5yo. Help please

    Hi,
    DS is 6 and we’ve had BOTH problems you’ve described. First of all he would only poo in a nappy until he was almost 4. I didn’t realise (seems silly not to realise) but he is lactose intolerant so I think sitting on the toilet wasn’t the best experience for him and felt more comfortable doing it in his nappy. He was toilet trained at 2 1/2 but would ask for a nappy when he needed to do a poo.

    I don’t have any quick solutions to how we stopped it, just that one day I said this time we’re going to sit on the toilet and he did! But, before that it was always a firm no from him whenever I suggested it. He always struggled with it though and stopped going every day and would hold on until he couldn’t any more. We had a lot of accidents. Which brought us to your 5 year olds problem. He was constipated and had developed encopresis. Have you looked into that? It explains so much.

    Here’s a link from the Royal Melbourne Children’s hospital https://www.rch.org.au/kidsconnect/p...resis_Soiling/

    I ended up putting him on Parachoc (under a GP’s supervision) and getting the ‘mass’ out over a period of 10 days and it seemed to just fall into place from then. We still have set backs but I try so hard not to get stressed about it.

    I hope that helps. There’s heaps more I could tell you so let me know if you want anymore info/advice

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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    Hi, i have no personal experience as we're still in the nappy stage but just thought id throw a few suggestions so you could try anything and everything...

    Metamucil is really helpful for constipation. Its natural amd mild, not a drug or laxative. Takes a 2-3 days to start working/make a difference. Iys yummy sweet orange flavoured too so maybe dd could try having a glass a day in the morning. Maybe just a teaspoon in a big glass of water as she's not an adult.

    With my dd, she has a potty opposote the real toilet and as she's only 18 months ive just always had it in the toilet so she's used to it and whenever i go to the toilet i take her with me and she just sits on the potty, fully clothed and we chat about going to the toilet. Im just trying to familiarise her with toilet stuff well in advance. Would he maybe just sit on the potty in his nappy/clothes and start using it just like a seat as a start? DD "brushes" her teeth or tries to brush her hair while she sits there.
    And i let her unroll and tear off toilet paper and she copies and pretends to wipe and she hands me toilet paper and then just before i flush, i say "ready" so she's not scared of the flush noise and then she likes to out the toilet seat down. I know these things arent really potty training as such but they are just things im trying so she's used to and not scared of the potty and toilet. Maybe just start8ng real slow woth stuff like this and not actually mentioning or encouraging him to try to use the potty might be a way to get him over the fear of the toilet or potty before actually using it.
    Im sorry this must be stressful for you... I do hope others with more experience might be able to help.
    The metamucil is the go though, can definitely vouch for it!
    I wouldn't recommend metamucil in this instance. I have two daughters with encopresis (severe constipation) and we were told not to use it. In our case my daughters had dried masses inside them and poo was going around. One DD was pooing daily, the other was pooing once a fortnight. We were told Metamucil was going to bulk out the poo but not clear the mass.

    OP couple of thoughts:
    1. Has your doctor recommended an xray for your 5 year old? That's how the encopresis was diagnosed in one of my daughters - she was blocked from end to end but still managing to poo everyday. I took her to the doctors suspecting coeliac disease as she had continual stomach cramps and had a bloated abdomen. I found movicol was successful in clearing out DD3 but the results were not so great with DD2. She was older when she was diagnosed and has now developed other gut issues. They both regularly do "clear outs" by taking Movicol, generally in the school holidays. Not a cure but it keeps it under control.

    2. I would also consider an elimination diet to explore possible food intolerances causing the constipation. (I've tried to do this with DD2 but she is now a teen and flat out refuses).

    ETA - Failsafe diet developed by the RPA hospital

    https://www.fedup.com.au/
    https://www.slhd.nsw.gov.au/rpa/alle...l/default.html
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 02-07-2019 at 21:45.

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    I feel for you because I know how it feels. From both sides.
    I had constipation issues as a child and still have a fussy stomach now.
    My asd son used to hold his poops and would mess his pants up to 10 times a day until he decided to go. He did that until he was about 7/8.
    Now my almost 5 year old daughter is having issues. She is holding too and went from being fully toilet trained to now refusing to try using the toilet. So she is pooping her pants almost every time now. So frustrating as I can’t pin point anything that caused this.

    I have her on benefibre and recently a probiotic. I put them in her drinks. I give her the stool softener when things are looking concerning. We have had some horrible constipation episodes!

    For my kids I’m sure it is sensory. My daughter hasn’t seen any doctors yet as we are on waiting lists but I am fairly sure she is on the spectrum as well.
    But kids who are not on the spectrum can have sensory problems as I did as a child.

    I agree with pp don’t give Metamucil. It can cause constipation unless you’re drinking lots of water and it can irritate people who have like ibs.

    Benefibre should be safe and the probiotic is only helpful. Try to keep proactive without making an issue of it.
    I feel sure based on my own experience they will overcome this, assuming that an actual medical condition is ruled out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    I wouldn't recommend metamucil in this instance. I have two daughters with encopresis (severe constipation) and we were told not to use it. In our case my daughters had dried masses inside them and poo was going around. One DD was pooing daily, the other was pooing once a fortnight. We were told Metamucil was going to bulk out the poo but not clear the mass.

    OP couple of thoughts:
    1. Has your doctor recommended an xray for your 5 year old? That's how the encopresis was diagnosed in one of my daughters - she was blocked from end to end but still managing to poo everyday. I took her to the doctors suspecting coeliac disease as she had continual stomach cramps and had a bloated abdomen. I found movicol was successful in clearing out DD3 but the results were not so great with DD2. She was older when she was diagnosed and has now developed other gut issues. They both regularly do "clear outs" by taking Movicol, generally in the school holidays. Not a cure but it keeps it under control.

    2. I would also consider an elimination diet to explore possible food intolerances causing the constipation. (I've tried to do this with DD2 but she is now a teen and flat out refuses).

    ETA - Failsafe diet developed by the RPA hospital

    https://www.fedup.com.au/
    https://www.slhd.nsw.gov.au/rpa/alle...l/default.html
    I was going to post all of this but SS has said it all. My neice was discovered to have severe constipation when she was a little older. Like PP, she would have a bowel movement each day and it was investigating a separate issue that it was discovered. It took a pretty intense protocol for the initial clear out and the softeners for a while, plus keeping an eye on it, plus checking for food triggers. Everyone reacts differently to different foods, eg. blueberries always make my DD constipated!

    I'll 3rd the recommendation to not add fibre supplements or lots of fibrous foods until an Xray shows no stuck mass in the bowel. Metamucil and other soluble fibres will probably be a good way to maintain things, but stick with softeners or laxatives that the Drs recommend. If your GP isn't very experienced in GI health, you may want to get a referral to a gastroenterologist.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilahh View Post
    Hi Hubble

    I can’t help with the constipation, but with the fear of toilet, have you tried reading your 4yo books about the toilet?

    https://www.ohcrappottytrainingmetoy...red-about-poop

    Also, can you use a reward chart, gradually increasing the activity’s? He gets a reward (chocolate or sticker) the first day if he goes into the bathroom and sits near the toilet for a minute. Then the second day he gets his reward if he sits on the toilet with the seat down and clothes on for one minute. Then third day seat up, etc, etc, at a pace he is okay with. gradual exposure, combined with rewards, is effective for reducing fears of things in my experience

    Good luck!
    Thank you. I’ll look this up and give it a go.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    Hi, i have no personal experience as we're still in the nappy stage but just thought id throw a few suggestions so you could try anything and everything...

    Metamucil is really helpful for constipation. Its natural amd mild, not a drug or laxative. Takes a 2-3 days to start working/make a difference. Iys yummy sweet orange flavoured too so maybe dd could try having a glass a day in the morning. Maybe just a teaspoon in a big glass of water as she's not an adult.

    With my dd, she has a potty opposote the real toilet and as she's only 18 months ive just always had it in the toilet so she's used to it and whenever i go to the toilet i take her with me and she just sits on the potty, fully clothed and we chat about going to the toilet. Im just trying to familiarise her with toilet stuff well in advance. Would he maybe just sit on the potty in his nappy/clothes and start using it just like a seat as a start? DD "brushes" her teeth or tries to brush her hair while she sits there.
    And i let her unroll and tear off toilet paper and she copies and pretends to wipe and she hands me toilet paper and then just before i flush, i say "ready" so she's not scared of the flush noise and then she likes to out the toilet seat down. I know these things arent really potty training as such but they are just things im trying so she's used to and not scared of the potty and toilet. Maybe just start8ng real slow woth stuff like this and not actually mentioning or encouraging him to try to use the potty might be a way to get him over the fear of the toilet or potty before actually using it.
    Im sorry this must be stressful for you... I do hope others with more experience might be able to help.
    The metamucil is the go though, can definitely vouch for it!
    Thank you. The GP put us on Movicol so we have been using that instead.

    We’ve tried encouraging him to sit on the potty or toilet with his pull up on to the and get used to sitting while pooing as he stands, but he won’t


 

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