+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Behaviour in an 8 year old

    Hi first time poster, loved this group while having my babies and thought you guys could help me once again.

    My youngest boy will be 8 next month. He has two older sisters.
    I’m a little worried about what is average behaviour for this age group in terms of temper.
    every so often he is having troubles holding his temper, last night he lost it when I asked him to finish his meal before grabbing desert, he kicked draws in the kitchen and started banging around a chair, it lasted a few minutes, in the end he done as he was told and understood why it was wrong when we talked afterwards.
    This behaviour is not a daily occurrence and otherwise he seems to manage frustrations well enough just every now and again we get this aggression from him, he has never physically hit any of us nor threaten to and calms down well enough in the end.
    This behaviour has started over the last 12 months probably happened a handful of times.
    I have noticed he is starting to say he feels sick when he gets to school of a morning but his teacher reports his behaviour is wonderful at school and he is achieving well and there is no social issues.
    I guess I’m over worried as my brother had/has adhd and was extremely violent and I lived quiet a turbulent life growing up with him.
    However I’ve been googling (I know I know 😂) and most things state that temper tantrums for this age should be a thing of the past.
    Just wanted others opinions in this type of behaviour please
    thank you 😊

  2. #2
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    7,154
    Thanks
    7,634
    Thanked
    3,523
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hi , at first glance, I would think, this behaviour is not common for an 8 yr old. Or at least it would be very rare thing. Such a tantrum for being told to finish dinner before the dessert is more like a two year old than an 8 yr old. Where would he see such behaviour,? He must realise that is just not acceptable. I don't know how I would handle such a performance. marie.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    12,734
    Thanks
    4,360
    Thanked
    7,757
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I'm not sure how 'normal' this is - I have an 8 year old DS who has ADHD and ASD and he doesn't behave this way, though I was talking to a colleague at work and his 10 year old son (who has no diagnosed issues) throws pretty big tantrums apparently.

    I would continue to reiterate that raging like that is not okay in your house, and perhaps look into some resources on helping kids manage anger. I'm sure there are strategies that can be put in place to help him before he gets to the kicking/banging things stage. If things escalate, you might consider taking him to have a session with a child psychologist. They would certainly be able to help implement strategies.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    2,728
    Thanks
    799
    Thanked
    428
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    is there any teasing/bullying happening at school? often victims are scared to report to the teacher

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,795
    Thanks
    1,756
    Thanked
    2,740
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'd say it's more angry outbursts than tantrums, especially as he calms quickly and it sounds like he doesn't go into a full meltdown/shut off/completely irrational.

    It's not great behaviour but it's not abnormal for a child to get angry or upset for no reason that is clear to us (or something that seems minor to us). Some childrens' feelings are more intense than others and every child will express these feelings in different ways.

    As a teacher and a mum, I know kids are often very different at school than at home (I've had many parent teacher interviews where I'm declaring what a perfect darling their child is and the parent is wondering if we're talking about the same child, lol). Often kids are on their 'best behaviour' all day at school, which can lead to 'releasing' when they're home and can be themselves. (DD does this!!) From what I've seen, it's more common in slightly older children, but if he's a deep/intense/mature thinker he could be hitting this stage already.

    The sore tummy in the morning can be a symptom of some anxiety. So this supports the idea that he is 'tense' at school and possibly coming home with pent up feelings. But this is just an opinion, you know him better than anyone.

    I'd have a good chat with him about how he feels at school. Remember he may not have the names for his feelings, so he may need to describe the physical feelings in detail for you to work out if its worried, excited, overwhelmed etc.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stretched For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats (12-06-2019),KJane13 (13-06-2019)

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    7,507
    Thanks
    4,032
    Thanked
    6,576
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I’m not sure it helps much but when I was a similar age I was an angry kid. I was a screamer and a door slammer. There are cracks around the door frame from my repeated slamming. The harder the better. Once dad put some foam strips in the door frame to stop the door slamming so hard. Next time I slammed the door and it wouldn’t slam it took me all of 5 seconds to work out why it wouldn’t slam, rip the foam off and slam the door as hard as I could.

    Looking back I can’t really think of anything particularly horrible in my childhood that would cause the anger (bullying etc). All I can think of is more the taunting from my sister. She would needle me to get a reaction and I was told to ignore her. I don’t recall her ever getting told off/punished for it - but then again I had usually stormed off to my bedroom and slammed my door by then 🤷‍♀️

    Is there a hormone surge around that age? If there’s a whole bunch of hormones raging around his system he might not know how to deal with how it makes him feel? Perhaps have another chat with his teacher and ask them to keep an eye on him and see if there’s anything going on.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to MLadyEm For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats (12-06-2019)

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    8,989
    Thanks
    1,302
    Thanked
    5,818
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Doesn’t sound overly abnormal to me- a bit extreme possibly but like a pp said some kids express their emotions differently to others. If he is feeling big, overwhelming emotions at that time it may just be he can’t express it verbally.

    My girls are the same- perfect angels at school but home is totally different. I read a while ago that it’s usually because they feel like they have to god it together at school/other places but home is their safe space and they trust us with their emotions. It helped put it in perspective for me. Much the same as if we have had a really bad day at work and we come home and have a cry or whatever.

    If you are concerned there is more too it, maybe have a chat with your gp. They can refer you to someone like a child behaviour therapist who will be able to work with you and your ds to find out what’s going on and help come up with ways to deal with whatever is causing him to lose it.


 

Similar Threads

  1. behavioural issues with 4 year old.
    By MothersMilk in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16-07-2012, 20:00
  2. 4 year old demanding behaviour
    By nick's mum in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 23-01-2009, 23:22
  3. OK... I need help with the challenging behaviour of my two year old!
    By NewBeginnings in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 24-09-2008, 21:21
  4. 7 year old male behaviour and speech
    By TwoBlue in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 20-08-2008, 15:31
  5. Behavioural Issues with 4 year old - 50/50 Parents
    By Dadandtwo in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 29-01-2007, 06:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
ProSwimProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all ...