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  1. #1
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    Default Is this reasonable?

    Hi all,
    Just wanting to sound out your feedback to check if I am being unreasonable?
    I’m a working mother of 2 DD’s 8/6yo’s.
    My DH works 3 days a week - mon-wed.
    I have always been a keen tennis player and each winter I like to play in a competitive pennant comp. this runs for 14 weeks but I play only 10.
    This is on Saturday’s and I will be out of house for usually 6 hours. 12-6pm
    My DH has got very angry and feels I’m not being reasonable as I should prioritise family.
    It is only ten weeks of the year and brings me great emotional benefits.
    I allow him to do what he likes but he is less sporty and only goes to gym once or twice a week.
    I feel like I just need this outlet to be s better mother and wife.
    It is causing quite a few issues.
    Any feedback is much appreciated

    Happy mother’s day mums.
    Tennismum

  2. #2
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    nope not being unreasonable. its 10weeks, your children are older, is important for your mental wellbeing.
    can you set aside another time on weekend as family time? ie sunday brunches out as a family?

  3. #3
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    I grew up in a family where during the summer, my mum played tennis and dad played cricket and we went with whichever parent was going to a sports ground with the best stuff for kids!
    Sport was important for health and well-being.
    Do your kids play sport?
    I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

  4. #4
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    No, in my family it would not be considered unreasonable. My partner would be pushing me out the door to do something for myself.

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    I think so, if he wants to stop you from doing that he's unreasonable.

  6. #6
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    Not selfish and not unreasonable at all. I mean he only works 3 days a week

  7. #7
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    Thanks guys ,
    I get the feeling I’m not unreasonable. Don’t get me wrong, DH is generally great and supportive but this means a great deal to me and I feel like a part of a supportive community at the club.

    I could understand if it was every sat for the year but it’s just under 25%.

    I have explained the importance but DH is really insistent that I’m unreasonable

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Tennismum For This Useful Post:

    mandmbaby (12-05-2019)

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    Every Saturday maybe I could see his side, but only ten weeks is nothing. I don’t see the issue.

  10. #9
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    For me it depends on the family time you have during the week and extra curriculars. My husband has gone through stages where his roster has meant that he isn’t home until the kids are in bed a few nights a week and at that stage we decided he couldn’t commit to playing sport. I suppose the difference was that it also meant one night minimum of training a week and my children were younger at the time.

    I think its a great thing to do and if my husband was to suggest exactly what you have said (Sat for 10 weeks total) then I would probably encourage that with his current roster (only one late finish a week and one Sunday a month) and we don’t currently have kids sport on weekends to run them around to, but I know he would be thankful for me taking the extra on and wouldn’t expect it.

  11. #10
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    Yeah I’m home every night for dinner and we get sat mornings and all day Sunday together.
    I have compromised and said I’ll cut back to every second week playing this season. I still get the feeling this is being resented.

    I think of you revolve your life totally around your kids then this isn’t healthy.

    They do piano and swimming two nights a week.
    I’m slowly introducing them to idea of tennis but don’t want to push them and demand they do it.


 

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