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  1. #1
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    Default Gently Night Weaning Toddler

    I’m still co-sleeping with and feeding my 19mo DS overnight. I don’t have a problem with the co-sleeping, but the constant feeding overnight is k.i.l.l.i.n.g me. He’s pushy and demanding and I’m quickly reaching my limit. Now that he has finally finished teething for the time being (just has 2yo molars to go), I feel like it might be the right time to do something about it.

    I’m considering moving him to a mattress on the floor next to the bed and hoping the distance helps somewhat, but would appreciate any advice on reducing/cutting out feeds overnight.

    Letting hubby deal with him overnight is not an option, he just gets too distressed (part of the reason I am so done, I haven’t had more than three hours consecutive sleep in 1.5 years).

  2. #2
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    Default Gently Night Weaning Toddler

    It must be so difficult, and I feel so much for you!!!

    My friend has a DD who is similar to your DS and she bought a book called “Nursies when the Sun rises” (or something similar). She read it to her DD every day for a good week or so to let the message sink in. Now when her DD wakes she can usually just tell her it’s still dark and that she only gets milk when the sun is out, she can then (mostly) pat her back to sleep. The first couple of nights were hard but now her DD is accepting of it. She’s only had one or 2 proper meltdowns when denying a feed. Even though most nights her DD still wakes a couple of times, they’re usually short wake ups and her quality of sleep has improved. Occasionally she’s even had a random sleep through the night!

    I hope that helps!!


    ETA, if I’ve done the maths right, her DD is a similar age to your DS. Born beginning of Sept 17
    Last edited by MLadyEm; 03-05-2019 at 22:50.

  3. #3
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    I feel your pain. I have no real helpful advice.....

    I just gave in, slept topless and let my toddler go overnight 🤦‍♀️ we both got more sleep that way. I know it's not the best of solutions... but it worked for us. He eventually weaned on his own when I fell pregnant again

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    I cut them out cold turkey with DD at 12 months. She cried a little bit but I went in for brief settling at intervals. The longest she cried for was 5 minutes. She was self settling and sleeping all night on the third night.

    With DS (my first) I tried waiting it out but he didn’t stop feeding overnight for at least 2.5 YEARS. Hence why with my second I was prepared to try a little bit of crying.

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    Hi i wanted to stop codleeping and night feeding when my dd was 1 as i knew she was getting plenty of food and milk during the day and i felt waking up all night was worse for her when she was capable of sleeping through. So i bit the bullet because i thought it would be better for her. I find that the sight of me is what makes her want boob, not hunger, just habit. When she's with her dad, she'll go all day happily without boob but as soon as i appear she starts.
    So for me,
    Moving her into a separate room helped because if she was on the floor and could see me/know i was there, she'd try for boob.
    It actually only took 3 nights until she slept on her own.
    I did the whole bedtime routine, books, singing, tuck in etc... then left and shut door. Did 5 mins and went back in and repeated this.
    First night she cried 5 mins at a time, had to go back in 3 times. So total of 15 mins crying.
    2nd night cried 5 mins, went back in twice.
    3rd night she cried for 30 seconds no kidding.
    I know all kids are different and it might not work for everyone but im really glad i tried it because it only took 3 nights. She only ever cried for 5 mins at a time before i went back in so i didnt feel to bad and basically she did fall asleep because she was tired.
    Could give this a go if it's something you were happy to try.
    I wish id done it earlier and we are both much happier getting a proper nights sleep rather than us both waking each other up all night. She still feeds before naps and bedtime so still gets breastmilk benefits.

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    Oh and this generally works most nights now. If she is sick, teething or having an off night i will feed her at night and cosleep. And some nights i still have to go back in 2 or 3 or 4 times but most nights she just realises its bedtime and i leave after her feed.
    Also if she does wake and cry in the night, i do go in but dont feed, just pat her back and snuggle for a bit so she gets comfort but no booby at night.


 

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