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  1. #1
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    Default Should I get an egg donor?

    Hi guys,

    I’m a 33 year old single woman and I’m a carrier of fragile x syndrome (FXS). I want to have a baby so I’ve been doing ivf with PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) with the intention of transferring an embryo that is genetically unaffected with FXS.
    So far I’ve done 4 rounds with 6 embryos in total tested. Sadly, all come back as affected with fragile x, which I just don’t understand because the odds of my offspring inheriting it are 50/50.
    I’m currently waiting on the results of my one embryo that I got from a recent 5th cycle... I’m not counting on it being good news.
    I’ve had enough... I don’t want to do this anymore and I’m now considering the egg donor program in South Africa.
    My concerns are:
    - will I regret not keeping on trying for “my own” child?
    - what if I don’t feel a connection to a child from another person’s egg?
    - will it not feel like my child?
    - is it just not the same as falling pregnant with your own egg?

    I welcome your advice and opinions.
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Look I used my own eggs, so I hope you don’t mind me answering. However when I gave birth it still didn’t feel like my child. It’s weird after birth. There’s this small human next to you, that you’ve carried for 9 months, and you love it with all your heart. But you don’t know it. It’s the first time meeting them.

    The connection comes over time. The work you put into them builds the bond. The gastro at 2am. The first smile.

    My sister used an egg from my other sister and omg my nephew is such a mummas boy. The bond could not be stronger.

    I have friends who have used donor eggs from a friend or stranger. Their bond is no different than any other parents. They are full of love, then pulling their hair out.

    My children are donor sperm. When they were babies I did wonder about their looks, what was me and what was donor. But now they just look like themselves!

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  4. #3
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    As for whether you should keep trying with your own eggs, only you can know when you’re done.

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    Kalina (26-04-2019)

  6. #4
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    Hi lovely, I used donor embryos to conceive my daughter and i havent got time atm to write a proper reply to you, and I will write back later. But the short answer from my perspective is...
    I dont regret it at all and wish i knew then what i knew now and would have saved myelf time money and heartache
    -I felt connected from the moment I first finally saw two pinklines!
    -It will feel like your child because you grew their body, felt them move, worried about them and how they were progressing at every scan etc... gave birth to them, cuddled them etc...
    -And amazingly after failing own egg ivf 8 times, failing with donor eggs 4 times and finally using a donor embryo for my daughtet, I have somehow managed to fall pregnant naturally and it doesnt feel any different to me.
    -My daughter us the most precious and beautiful thing i have ever seen and the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sometimes i get horrified to think what if i hadnt have gone overseas to get her?

    Best advice i can give you, is to read in full from the beggining, the south africa donor thread and the greece donor threads on bubhub and you will ne able to see all these other women with the same thought and feelings and worries as you and how they worked through them. You can also join the threads and pop in and ask these same questions, it wont be offensive to ask because we all had these same worries at first. I have never met anyone who regretted their decision once they got their baby. xx Im sure all the ladies on those threads can give you advice and opinions too and there's literally hundreds of us xx

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  8. #5
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    I’ve got both, oe children and de children and I love them all the same, I don’t know if it’s because I already have oe children, but the de ones are very special because of the way they came about, if it were me in your shoes I wouldn’t hesitate to move to de, as soon as that egg leaves the donor it becomes yours

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    I just wanted to wish you the very best in all of this. 🤞 you get your baby soon, either way it's still your baby you have been longing for 💙

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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by JWC View Post
    Hi guys,

    I’m a 33 year old single woman and I’m a carrier of fragile x syndrome (FXS). I want to have a baby so I’ve been doing ivf with PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) with the intention of transferring an embryo that is genetically unaffected with FXS.
    So far I’ve done 4 rounds with 6 embryos in total tested. Sadly, all come back as affected with fragile x, which I just don’t understand because the odds of my offspring inheriting it are 50/50.
    I’m currently waiting on the results of my one embryo that I got from a recent 5th cycle... I’m not counting on it being good news.
    I’ve had enough... I don’t want to do this anymore and I’m now considering the egg donor program in South Africa.
    My concerns are:
    - will I regret not keeping on trying for “my own” child?
    - what if I don’t feel a connection to a child from another person’s egg?
    - will it not feel like my child?
    - is it just not the same as falling pregnant with your own egg?

    I welcome your advice and opinions.
    Thanks
    Your questions and concerns are so natural I think. No one can tell you whether you'd regret giving up on your own eggs. For me...I'm finally pregnant using donor eggs after much effort and heartbreak trying for a second baby, to give my DD a sibling, with my own eggs. Honestly I feel this baby moving inside me and not only do I not regret anything, I feel an enormous sense of love, relief and calm. Sometimes I forget we used donor eggs to be honest.

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    Amandamoo (28-04-2019),gorgeousgeorge (27-04-2019)

  14. #8
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    Hi, have just seen your post. I felt I need to share this information with you. Firstly, I'm pasting the article as it goes~~
    ''@@Centerfor Human Reproduction offers patients who are above 40 and forthose, who suffer from low levels of AMH, an innovative program thatmakes it possible to get pregnant with their own eggs. Mitochondriareplacement therapy is aninnovation and a breakthrough in the field of ART and the fertilitytreatment. This program gives women, who underwent numerousunsuccessful IVF cycles, aged 40+, patients with low mitochondrialfunctional activity, an excellent chance to give birth to a child whoshares a genetic relationship with her and her partner. Mitochondrionis one of the most important components of any living cell, includingthe egg. In simple words, mitochondrion is the cell’s energystation. Essentially, its work consists in supplying the cell withvital energy for its normal functioning. Women that went throughmultiple unsuccessful IVF attempts, as well as of older reproductiveage, need to restore oocyte mitochondria in order to successfullybecome pregnant. A woman can become pregnant only if there arefunctionally active mitochondria in her oocytes. Donation ofmitochondria will allow thousands of hopeless women to give birth toa healthy child through IVF using mitochondrial donation. To carryout such a procedure, an egg donor with a high functional activity ofmitochondria, a patient, and sperm for in vitro fertilization arerequired. Healthy functionally active mitochondria are taken from adonor’s oocyte and integrated with the patient’s cells. Next,fertilization with sperm and transfer of a healthy embryo into thepatient’s uterus is performed. Mitochondria donation is a uniqueassistive reproductive technology, which is basically theimplantation of a healthy and functionally active donor mitochondriainto the cells of an infertile patient, that provides the patient’scell with the necessary energy and contributes to successfulpregnancy.''
    The point is that mitochondrial DNA and Human DNA are different things. It only gives that necessary energy to the oocyst and helps with developing and embryo and makes it stronger. DNA is the core of the mitochondria which are not used for donation. Therefore, genetically, mitochondria have no effect on the embryo!!
    What if you could ask your doc about this option?!
    Just tried to be helpful, good luck!




 

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